I'm starting to feel pathetic...

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#1 Aug 28 - 3AM
twisted
twisted's picture

I'm starting to feel pathetic...

I'm having a rough day. It's been so long and I still miss him so much. I really am starting to feel pathetic. Nobody knows that I suffer like this. I've moved on, I'm happy, life is pretty good...but I can't shake the feeling that it feels wrong being without him. I feel like he left a hole in my gut. And I can't believe I still feel like this.

Aug 28 - 4PM
twisted
twisted's picture

I usually have good days now

I usually have good days now but every now and then I feel like I slip back and suddenly I'm overwhelmed with thoughts of missing him again. I feel pathetic because I feel like I'm hanging on, and it's been over 2 years since we broke up. And he was horrible to me. It's so exhausting. I just keep reading and on my bad days I read even more to remind myself. Thanks everyone.
Aug 28 - 3PM
lillymarch
lillymarch's picture

Well, I am pathetic!

I was with this man since highschool. He was it for me. The rest of my life. Family. This conviction is what kept me with him no matter what he did. That's sick. After all the terrible things he's done I still feel like I love him. Yuk! Or maybe it's just the idea of him... Pathetic!
Aug 28 - 1PM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

I know the feeling all too

I know the feeling all too well. Eventually the hole in your heart will heal. That takes a lot longer then anything else. Keep moving forward, you are doing great! You truly are! Hang in there!
Aug 28 - 11AM
Done sourcing
Done sourcing's picture

Either you had the hole

Either you had the hole before him, or he created it. Either way he can't fill it! You're just having a bad moment, happens to us all. Keep posting and know that every day you are further away from the chaos and destruction and insanity. ds
Aug 28 - 10AM
ruby01 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

twisted

It does get annoying when one day you're strong and the next you feel weak. I remember one time my Ex N telling me how although women in his past would leave him, that they always came back. Boy, I didn't get the true meaning to that statement at the time. It's sad. It happens to us all. Now I think about what he said and imagine how he felt that, in his mind,he viewed these women that came back to him as stupid b words that just couldn't resist him, and it pisses me off. That's what they think. That they are so irresistible and we are so stupid. I refuse to fold. We are not stupid. They are not irresistible. And I'm not going to get thrown in the trash by someone who thinks of women like that. It's confusing for sure, but you are much more than he can ever dream of being. Hang in there and use your mind to separate the facts from the fantasy they tried to create. xxx, Ruby
Aug 28 - 8AM
gratefuljen
gratefuljen's picture

Is it cd

It took a long time for the cd to get gone. I had to read about abuse, about npd, I had to get honest with myself. To wrap around my brain, that I was with someone who never loved me, never truly care for me, that I was just supply. It was a very hard thing to do, but I did it. I no longer miss the lie. I no longer miss the abuse, emotional, spiritual, and sometimes physical. It take time and hard work to heal. Be gently on yourself. Identify what you are dealing with, a person with no soul, no conscience, no empathy. Look at it honestly.......there is nothing to miss, but the lie. He never existed. Look at it, feel the pain of the truth, then you start to heal. Love Jen
Aug 28 - 8AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Twisted

I'm sorry, Not only a hole in your heart but one in your head!! They do a good job screwing both up for us!! There is no turning back, fight it! Hunter