Im over the edge right now

They jump through hoops for the one who has the most to give to them at any moment. Not the most love, but the most goodies, whatever he considers to be a goody. I've seen my ex-N jump through hoops for his gf (I was the OW but didn't know it). Even if I am sexier and a better cook, she has what he most values now... someone who is easily duped, non-judgmental, BIG-hearted, patient, has money, lives in another state AND IS GONE ALL DAY SO HE CAN BE A TROLL AND HUNTER. But I digress. Another thing I'd like to point out is I feel that no matter how horribly they treated us, all of our anger or acting out just makes us look like "crazy bitches." Even benign acting out. Like I would imagine myself sitting on my ex-N's doorstep and seeing them and telling her everything and crying...but he would have just called me a crazy ex gf stalker for showing up and acting hysterical. And that's how it would look to everyone! Especially since their lies are so convincing. And when we start playing detective so that we can figure out reality from fiction, we end up looking like paranoid snoops/stalkers. We can't win. I guess NC is the way to win. That's what they say...

jaycee, I feel what you're feeling. I hate him for you too. I came home from work last night at about ten thirty and the asshole drove up at the same time, drunk, and came up to me and asked for sex. I just looked at him and said, "You were supposed to take care of my children. You said you were going to marry me." He said, "Oh, honey. Why would anyone marry you?" I went into the house, got a hammer, and smashed his windshield. Four or five people saw me do it. The police came, they yelled at me and said I was lucky he didn't want to press charges. He made a big show of not pressing charges (as if he wasn't protecting himself), and that was that. He got in the car this morning and came back an hour later with a new windshield, holdiing his foster child's hand, who had a brand new haircut from the babysitter who doesn't speak to my children. I am just numb. I wish I could come over to that dick of yours and cut off his head with a butcher knife. What a complete scum bucket. These vermin who treat children like crap should be tortured and shot. I'm not proud of myself, but I was seeing my girls' faces when I broke that window. I wish the window or the butcher knife would help something, but nothing does. You cannot hurt these monsters; they just keep going on and on and on. The only thing we can do is ignore them. I need to get the hell out of here. I wish he would go away and leave your daughter alone.

The ex-N is addicted to supply... no matter how or where he gets it. Think of him like a drug addict (which he already is) It's NOT YOUR FAULT. You see how pathetically stupid he is. You've come to the point you don't defend him anymore,and you are rightly angry. The ex-N doesn't love the whore. It's not about love. It's about CONTROL for him. If he truly loved you (or her),he wouldn't act this way. He's jumping through hoops for show...it's not real. Remember-he's an addict. He's unhealthy. You aren't. You are a normal person.

b/c thats what he told you ,it doesnt mean its true, my feeling is he is not with gf either, no way would he do what he didnt want, he is the one who didnt want to be with your daughter, for whatever reason, but i would put money on it beign his choice, not what any one else wants, just what he wants.