Is there someone on here whose story really resonates with you? like it all seems too familiar? It helps when there story is painfully similiar to yours
I would be happy to talk to you however my situation is a bit different with my being married (my husband no clue of any of this)so you would have very limited access to me. Would you feel comfortable going thru Betty and asking her if there is someone she could hook you up with?
Fierfie its gonna be OK I promise the only reason I know is because Ive been thru it once and I did move on with my life. I just never knew what was wrong with him so when he came back into my life with apolgies I believed him. When the weird behavior and D&D started I went to the net and thats when I found out what he was but by then I was already emotionally attached and brainwashed. You will get thru this I promise you will
Just think of the little grin he"ll get on his face knowing that he got to you. I am starting to learn that silence is just like screaming YOU DONT MATTER! to them.
That is the one the that gets to them like NOTHING ELSE! You can do it! YOU CAN! SILENCE AND INDIFFERENCE IS YOUR ONLY WEAPON USE IT! BE STRONG!
funny you should say that, because i totally did imagine that. him giggling and shaking his head at how 'petty' i was for setting a boudary, than angrily typing that and hitting send and sitting back at his desk smiling....
they are so angry
They are sick people. Do NOT feed that monster. Your response is that of a normal person guaged to envoke shame in them. Your trying to get him to take responsibility. Its futile. Your angry response tells him I still got her! "The whole this why I divorced you" thing was him screaming Notice Me! DO NOT notice him! he does not exist!
Nonononononono! I totally understand how you're feeling, really. I've been through it, just remember that if you respond, he gets attention, which is what he wants. Narcs don't differentiate much between good and bad attention right? So you telling him off is as good as anything. He's gotten to you, he's taken over your mind, that makes him feel GREAT. And we don't what that now do we?
Silence is incredibly powerful, and the one thing that is sure to make a narc feel like s**t. So choose the most powerful option you have, which is to let him wonder if what he said to you even registered.
Write out a response here if it'll vent off some steam!
I hope you aren't planning to live in the same house with him as you'd said earlier. That scares me for you.
thank you for worrying about me:
ok here goes!!
Sidney, asswipe,
Woah! Lions three, christians none! Good one! No, seriously, FUCK OFF!!
or : You divorced me because I said no to running an errand for you? wow. you selfish son of a bitch, i hope you die.
or : Ask your ugly, haggard, new girlfriend to call you lazy, worthless piece of dog shit
Don't you have a lawyer? If his lawyer says he needs bank statements then he can ask YOUR lawyer. You have no kids, there is no reason to speak to him about anything. Just have a stock answer: Please send that to my lawyer. Then he will say all kinds of mean stuff and you respond: Please send your request to my lawyer. Then he'll get sappy and say why do you have to be this way, can't we just get along, I never meant to hurt you, blah puke, and you respond: Please send your request to my lawyer.
You don't HAVE to talk to him. And if you are keeping the lines of communication open, just waiting for the day that he will somehow act like a human being and tell you it's HIS fault he abused you... well that day is never coming. If he DOES say that he is only doing it suck you back in so he can abuse you more later (and not much later).
Think about this, fierflie... do you really WANT an apology or validation from HIM? He's worthless. Validation from HIM? A man who would beat you with a belt? You need HIM to say it wasn't your fault, that you're a good girl??? Honey, you are a good girl and it wasn't your fault. You are worth more than any "apology" from a turd.
heheh i know your right. i dont have an attorney any more. he used up all my retainers playing games. i'm divorced, so that part is over with. now i'm just dealing with the bullshit set forth in the seperation agreement, which unfortunately involves some contact. of course, that contact is upsetting me. what else can i expect form him. your right and thank you thank you for your validation.... xoxo
Stay silent! What everyone here has written is completely true!! Saying and doing nothing is what will hurt him the most, even though I know it would make you feel better to let him have a piece of your mind.
Just don't do it. You handled yourself so beautifully through the last communication. Don't spoil that. It would be just getting caught up in his game again. Remember, he said what he said to get a reaction from you - you would just be giving him what he wants. I know you don't want to do that!
You've got all of us here pulling for you - when you feel like breaking NC, just come here and we'll talk you down from the ledge.
Stay strong! You can do this. :)
fierflie
sickofit
fierflie
Dont Do it!
sick of it
yes fierflie
Hold the phone Fierflie!
wholeagain, i love you :)
LOL
I vote for the first one too but instead....
thats pretty funny michelle
Don't you have a lawyer? If
better off
Fierflie
Believe in yourself!
Terri