If you're wondering what the new woman is doing...she's suffering, just like you did

Quick background.

I work with he Narc. She swept me off my feet, then cut me down to size. I was already the other woman... Crying. Trying to escape. Giving her every opportunity to let us both walk with dignity. Instead, she introduced me to the new other woman, who was also a coworker. Then paraded her around at an office event and stood in front of me in what looked all the world to me like a scene from mean girls. Before this happened, Ireally believed she was kind and I was special. Very special. I was crushed. Have been battling depression for the last 6 months. But I never went back for more abuse, though I've been invited.

One of the most infuriating things is that I was pretty sure I was set up to look like a stalker. At work. She put me in such an uncomfortable position that I thought I was made to look foolish. Again--where I work! So, I saw my replacement's personal ad online. After much careful though, I sent her an e-mail. I never had a problem with her. This wasn't her fault, obviously.

The first e-mail was written so carefully that it could have been or warded to the CEO of my company. I still woke in a panic the next morning. It was to acknowlege that we met under akward circumstances and i thought she might not have an accurate impression of me. I wanted to clear my name and be able to hold my head up if she and i ever worked together. I wanted to be able to run into her (it's a small town if you're a lesbian) and not feel sick inside, thinking she thought I ws a stalker.

With careful steps, we revealed more in each e-mail. Turns out she never knew I was seeing the narc. And she was devastated in much the same way as I was, but she escaped before the mean girls last scene. We practically formed a support group. I promised myself I wouldn't use the words I wanted to use (like abuse, victim, or psychopath) in case she would judge me as crazy. Guess what... She used them all first. And he, like me, was a strong, independent woman who was emotionally crippled after 12 weeks.

We swapped stories. The cycle continues. Be happy you're not the new woman. She's suffering.