If your Narc died how would you feel?

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Apr 10 - 7PM
Veronrose
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No, I don't wish my N dead.

No, I don't wish my N dead. I would like him to feel total remorse, but I've read on these boards that that will never happen because they're INCAPABLE of empathy. I am a Christian, and believe in an afterlife and that one must atone for their evils on earth. HOWEVER, I have a problem with this when it involves pathologically disorded people. If the mentally pathological are hopeless, with no avenue to get better, then how can I think that a just, all-loving God would make them like that and then make them suffer more after they're gone? Sounds crazy, but I do have a little bit of a dissonance thinking that anyone that is mentally ill will get their just dues in death when they cannot help what they've done while alive. NOT that I don't think their actions DESERVE punishment, and the Jeffrey Dahmer's of the world deserve the death penalty, but if they are mentally incapacited, how can eternal punishment be justified in the afterlife? I've always been in a quandry about this.
Apr 10 - 7PM (Reply to #38)
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

Veronrose

I struggle with this too. I often think that may be we will know eachother in heaven that we'll be with the baby we lost and he wont be sick. My anger at times makes me wish he would burn in hell. But who am I so angry at. A mentally ill individual with no capability for introspection. No real ability to integrate their behavior with emotions. They are simply disabled people. They didnt ask for it. Its just the cards they were delt. I dont know what will happen with as I feel the devil has taken up residence in some of them. So I guess God will have to fight the Devil for their soul. Will he do that? I dont know.
Apr 10 - 7PM (Reply to #39)
Veronrose
Veronrose's picture

SOI

I totally understand your thoughts SOI!! Someone in their right mind, that acts cruelly towards others with INTENTION (and I think that's the KEY word), will definitely suffer throughout eternity. But mentally ill people that have no capability for feeling empathy or remorse, I have a hard time thinking they'll get an eternity of suffering in death. "God will have to fight the devil for their soul"....that's a good perspective.
Apr 10 - 9PM (Reply to #40)
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

I have an interesting article

I have an interesting article on sociopaths that sums up exactly what I have always felt was going on in his mind. If I can find it I will post. Dont get me wrong I hate what this man has done to me. Its truly horrific but as the conversation I had with the therapist she said you do know he cannot change. These is woven into him. It is who he is. Most of them dont even have enough integration of emotions to want to change they think everybody is a fake like they are and then some do know but have no desire or clue of even going about how to change. It really is a tragedy
Apr 10 - 5PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

A wasted life

The ex-Psych prof would say that he wanted to be like Prince Andrei Bolkonsky in "War and Peace",who rails cruelly at his former fiancee, sister and son when they weep while he's dying... but only gets the meaning of life at the absolute last minute. Prince Andrei comes to the realization that he's merely existed, that he hasn't *LIVED*... and while it seems too late, he does receive enlightenment, and is able to die peacefully&lovingly, reconciled with his family&former fiancee. Prince Andrei is a Narc... and only when he's dying is he FINALLY able to forgive Natasha Rostov. One of my friends would say "One day Mr. T--- will find God." At the time, I think my desire to convert him was to somehow get myself metaphysical brownie points... and to stop him from abusing me. Now, it's more of a universal desire for conversion. I desire peace, salvation, being with God... and I desire the same for him. Maybe it comes from 11 years of not seeing him in person, not hearing *ANYTHING* from him (I guess "eff off" counts as closure) If I heard he died, I wouldn't be booking a flight to NM for a memorial service. I don't know how I'd feel. I'd want him to be reconciled with his family, with God. Going through the motions of life isn't really living. Existing isn't living. Some Ns really prefer anonymity in death. Leo Tolstoy, unlike his contemporary Fyodor Dostoevsky, lies in an unmarked grave. Mary Baker Eddy's death was a century ago... yet the Mother Church of Christian Science in Boston did NOTHING to commemorate it. Greta Garbo had her ashes scattered at an unmarked place. The ex-P would romanticize how my grandfather's ashes had been scattered. He wanted that sort of posthumous anonymity... but he also wanted postmortem fame&respect like Schopenhauer&Wittgenstein. Cognitive dissonance, even to the afterlife.
Apr 10 - 5PM
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

hahaha funny thread. Um. No,

hahaha funny thread. Um. No, I don't wish him harm. I find that negative energy spewed at someone who's hurt us...is not worth it. I have prayed for ''all'' the narcs I've encountered. Not at first. hee hee But, even the one I'm ...don't even know our status right now...I have prayed for him. My prayer is this: That each finds peace. That God penetrates his heart, and he wishes to have a relationship with Christ. I'm Christian, so this is my prayer. I believe in the power of prayer. I have often said to him...every relationship, whether it works out or not...is an oppty for us to change. I don't think he listens. But, maybe he will remember my words someday. One can only hope.
Apr 10 - 6PM (Reply to #35)
Smitten Kitten (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Mine Pretends to be a Christian

In fact, that's one of the high points of the new GF, the fact that she's religious and they share that in common (I'm Agnostic), so that's one of the things they have to build on, as opposed to the two of us. "I know you don't believe this Smitten, but religion is important to me and I miss going to church." Now he has someone to attend church with again. He quit going when he separated from his wife and kids last April. And get this... he used to teach marriage classes at his church! What a f**king joke. Good Christians, good PEOPLE for that matter, don't do the things he's done to me, his ex-wife and other women. Good Christians don't break just about every Commandment simultaneously, shy of murder. One of the things I sent to him in our last texting session was, "You're a God-fearing man, so you'd better pray for your soul, because someday you will pay for the things you've done to me and other women."
Apr 10 - 5PM
Arwen
Arwen's picture

I could care less if there's

I could care less if there's a "Good" person inside there somewhere. For my most recent narc if he dropped it would perhaps hurt but he is dead to me as it is. But for the PRIMARY narc?? The one that destroyed every part of my life? DEATH.
Apr 10 - 5PM
ifinallygotit
ifinallygotit's picture

Horrible

We never said goodbye. I am not one who hates my Ex N. Way more interested in recovering my mental health and life than hating someone who does not even have any insight into their own behavior. I think of him as disabled and I just want to stay out of the way of getting hurt by it. I want closure and I would hate for him to die with us just leaving 10 years of love up in the air (no matter how sick and selfish and nutty he is). I am very glad though that he is not my husband. But I do not wish him any harm.
Apr 10 - 5PM
Finally Faced It
Finally Faced It's picture

peace & contentment

I'm more along the lines of "sick of it." It would break my heart. Yes, he destroyed me and broke my spirit...but his life is no way to live. I feel that buried deep inside him is a very sad and very lost soul. I cant save him from himself, I know that. All I wish for him is to find peace and contentment in his life. I also wish this for myself.
Apr 10 - 6PM (Reply to #31)
Smitten Kitten (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

You're a bigger person than I

You're a bigger person than I am at this point. I wish for mine to never find peace and contentment at this point. I want him to suffer the way I have and to continue suffering until his dying day. Because so far, all I see is a creep who screws up women's lives and never suffers any tangible consequences. Oh, deep down he's unhappy? Well he never digs that deep to even know. He's just playing everybody to his advantage while he moves from woman to woman and has his fun. He gets to keep living in the Honeymoon phase of every relationship he skips around to, and he never seems to be short of any supply. Screw him. Death would be too easy. I want him to suffer. Can you tell I'm angry today?
Apr 10 - 5PM
dazed and seeki...
dazed and seeking peace and strength's picture

i waver on this. there was a

i waver on this. there was a time when i told my therapist that as horrible as it sounded, i wish he were dead. it would have made everything final and easier. the hoovering. the potential of getting back to him. all of that only causes a big headache. on good days, i realize that i have control over my situation and circumstances as well. i have put up SO many barriers so that he couldn't reach out to me (even though they have been only semi-successful), but on those good days i don't wish him dead. i don't care. and eventually i want to truly reach that place of indifference, bc no matter what i hope i never live in a way where i wish death upon anybody! but yes. i have wished him dead. and wished it wholeheartedly.
Apr 10 - 5PM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

This is a tough one but I

This is a tough one but I think I would truly be sad if he died. I shouldnt be but I would. I think its because I see what a waste of human life it has been. He didnt choose this for himself. It was the cards he was delt. I guess too its because every now and then I would see a little boy peek out at me and he was sad and terrified. He is toxic to me but I would be sad if he died. It doesnt mean I excuse his behavior NO ABSOLUTELY DO NOT however I see the tragedy of it all. I mean thats what their lives are one big ironic tragedy
Apr 10 - 4PM
TLSM
TLSM's picture

It would be A DREAM COME TRUE!

It stresses me out SO BAD that he is still around even though he lives 600-800 miles away!!! I am not a psycho. I am not a hateful person. I am someone who he ran over, backed up and ran over again, put in drive and ran over one more time, got out of the car STOMPED on me, then threw rocks -boulder's and then finally spit on me. Then maybe even took a leak on me too. I have no shame in saying that yes, I wish he were dead. What do you think about them apples???
Apr 10 - 9PM (Reply to #27)
neverlookback
neverlookback's picture

Then maybe even took a leak on me too.

ewww MINE DID TAKE A LEAK ON ME, mmm Hey I wont lie, it was the mos, disgusting experience I ever have witnessed. How would I feel if he died? When i look back at that incident It was the first time that he truly showed me his sickness, I could care less if he died, the man is NOTHING to me and the man gave me nothing in the end but mental anguish. Yes I would want to go to the service, it would give me closure that justice was done, bury that bastard real deep.
Apr 10 - 7PM (Reply to #26)
sara-smile
sara-smile's picture

TLSM

I love them apples! That is a good one! I will add "take a leak on him" to my list!
Apr 10 - 6PM (Reply to #25)
Smitten Kitten (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

DITTO!!!

Only death would be too kind and bring relief from all the pain. They deserve to be tortured the way they tortured us.
Apr 10 - 4PM (Reply to #22)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

TLSM LIKIN YOUR APPLES A Whole lot!!!!!!!

Baby I am right there with you! Death sentence.
Apr 10 - 5PM (Reply to #23)
TLSM
TLSM's picture

HAAAAAAAAA!!!

MUUUAAAAHHHH!!!! This is a FAN-TAB-ULOUS THREAD! I swear if he ends up dead, I didn't do it!!!!!
Apr 10 - 7PM (Reply to #24)
sara-smile
sara-smile's picture

TLSM

ME NEITHER!!! I think if anything happens to my Narc this site will be the reason I end up in jail! If they pulled this post and the others where I wished him painful death I'm sure I would end up the prime suspect! LOL! It would be worth the jail time!
Apr 10 - 4PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Death of a Dog Trainer!

Permanent No Contact!!! Yippie!!
Apr 10 - 4PM
Mell
Mell's picture

Meat Grinder

I would like for him to get his dick stuck in a meat grinder--he is SO PROUD of that thang! Without that, he would be living in shear HELL ON EARTH!
Apr 10 - 4PM (Reply to #17)
sara-smile
sara-smile's picture

Mell

MINE TOO! If something happened to my Narc's dick he would kill himself! His life would be NOTHING without it! Meat grinder! Haaaaaaa!
Apr 10 - 4PM (Reply to #19)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

Suicide would be just fine

Suicide would be just fine with me.
Apr 10 - 4PM (Reply to #18)
Mell
Mell's picture

Sara

That was your Ns best friend too, huh? Well, just the THOUGHT of THAT, MAKES ME SMILE!!! THAT is the ONLY thing he has ever been in love with or can't live without!! LOL
Apr 10 - 3PM
jen79
jen79's picture

Now I would say I would want him to die

Not sure how I would feel if he would really die. But you know what, I know he will die early, he is now 50, and I saw it, a psychic saw it, and I even warned him, but he thought I try to manipulate him, but I still see it coming. He will die early. Cause he doesnt learn its lessons. I dont believe in hell, I do believe he will have to see all he has done to others, like everyone of us will. Near death experience studies show this, a paronamic life review, in which you will have to feel every single encounter from the other'S perspective. Good luck with this. I am prepared for it, I know I am not perfect, but I do my best from now on to be a better person and to be the hands of god. But he...oh my...this will be tough.
Apr 10 - 3PM (Reply to #15)
jen79
jen79's picture

but my evil part wants him to die

really really really slowely, cruel, and hopefully combined with puplic exposure, so everyone finally knows what person he really is.
Apr 10 - 3PM
mystwoman
mystwoman's picture

I won't that I can say that I

I won't that I can say that I would wish xnh would die, but I definitely wouldn't mind him having some chronic, painfully devastating health problems. Personally, I'd like to see him suffer for a long, long time before he gets any peace (maybe 16-years or longer, which is the same amount of time that he made my life a complete Hell). I guess that old Clarence Darrow quote applies to me: "I've never killed a man, but I've read many an obituary with a great deal of satisfaction." May xnh be cursed with repetitive diarrhea for the rest of his life, and I hope that he has chronic, very painful hemorrhoids along with it. rofl.

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

Apr 10 - 3PM (Reply to #9)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

Come on..diarrhea?? That's

Come on..diarrhea?? That's IT??!! Oh I know you have more rage than that!
Apr 10 - 3PM (Reply to #10)
mystwoman
mystwoman's picture

Oh yes, I do have a lot more

Oh yes, I do have a lot more rage than that! I actually couldn't think a of a punishment for xnh that would be GOOD enough for what he's done. Maybe put him into an electric chair, fry him until he's mostly dead, let him heal a little, and then fry him some more? I could start by hooking the electrodes up to his little tiny dick. Oh wait a minute, that would be like a lobotomy for him. Most of his brain is down there. I'd want him to be completely conscious through ALL of it. lol.

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.