If N's are afraid of commitment, then why do they come so close to it. ..
If N's are afraid of commitment, then why do they come so close to it. ..
If N's are so afraid of attachment, then help me to understand why my N did the following just 6 weeks ago. I have some idea, but I want other opinions on this. Just six weeks ago, my N and I had a 2.5 week time period where we felt that we had a great breakthrough in our relationship. He was open, vulnerable and honest about a few of his short comings and how much I had put up with from him and his undieing love for me. That 2.5 wks. was the best ever in how he regarded me. In over 2 yrs. I had not ever seen this with him to that degree before. He ended up moving our relationship forward by asking me to break my lease on my apartment so I could move in with him by Jan. 1st. Then, he added my name at the post office to his extra PO Box address box so when I moved in, my mail could go there with his. Then, he told his 2 adult daughters who really like me, that he loved me a lot and how I made him so happy. He said that we both had moved to a beautiful place in our relationship and how I was going to move in with him. I overheard this whole conversation with his daughters. He was upstairs on the phone not knowing I was listening downstairs. Then, he had my son come over to his house for the 1st time and showed my son around his house. He pointed out to my son that I would get one of the extra rooms in his house to use as my home office for my business, etc. Then, he had surgery Nov. 21st and I was late in picking him up by 1 hr. as I had my own obligations at my place to take care of before I was to pick him up and take him back to his place. I was going to take total care of him and his chores for 2 wks. post op care. He called me in a rage from the hospital and yelled at me for being an hr. late. I had never been even 5 min. late in seeing him in 2 yrs. and he admitted to this fact himself. We had a big blow out in the car as I was taking him back home...That was the start of the wheels falling off our relationship and then about 1.5 wks. ago, I was at his house overnight stay...2 hrs. before his daughter and family were due to visit us at his house, he picked a fight. He went upstairs to his office, locked me out, turned up the music...I was furious! Boy, did I tell him off and I called him a CN Jackass among many things. He told me to leave his house, or he would call the police. I told him off some more and left. Now, why if the N is so afraid of attachment, did he make plans to have me move in? Why did he become open and vulnerable to me with his feelings admitting some of his faults, why did he tell his daughters and my son about our plans to spend our lives together and for me to move in Jan. 1st. Only to pick 2 fights that I didn't even cause and now, he withdrew and we don't talk..He could have not have tried to make all these plans. Instead, he could have just picked fights with me and he could have ditched me..Please explain this mixed up behavior.
Idealize,
Hunter I need a little help...
What a puzzle
My CN would sometimes act like he wasn't really present...
yep
Matahari..it just dawned on me why he could have acted...
you hit the nail on the head
virginia
virginia
I Hope You Get Closure
You are funny, smart and correct...
What little demons they are!
"Please explain this mixed up behavior."
I guess we can't...
Is he jealous? Was he mad
You suspected what I wondered too...
Some of them even MARRY!
You nailed this Susan
Goldie
My CN told me a year ago...
AND........
29 yrs. ago, my N was married to a psyche nurse for 10 yrs....
Appearing Stable Past
Keeping up appearances
Just read your reply...