I wrote my goodbye letter last night

Well, I wrote my goodbye letter last night. It is the longest letter I've ever written in my life, six pages to be exact. It was also the hardest, because I was overwhelmed with so many mixed emotions while writing it.

So, I emailed it to my best friend. I think I was supposed to read it out loud to her, but our schedules just won't allow us to be together anytime in the near future, so I told her to read it and save it. I told her to feel free to bring it out, whenever she hears me say I'm missing the Narc, or feels that I need a reminder of why I'm not with him. By the way, I'm no longer calling him 'MY' Narc, because he doesn't deserve to be referred to as anyone connected to MY life anymore. He is now just a Narc to me.

She read my letter and here was her response.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wow, I am so so so so sorry. I didn’t realize how deep you actually were and how depressed you actually were. He did a number on you and I am truly sorry that you had to go thru that. You would tell me the stuff he did you would tell me the arguments and the kicking him out but when you took him back all I could think of to be honest is how stupid can she be. But reading this made me understand exactly where you were coming from and I had no idea. I would be so mad at you when you let him back in. I would think come on you are stronger then that you are smarter than that. But little did I know you were fighting your ownself on this you were brainwashed.

But I am glad that you are moving forward and trying to find your self ….
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My best friend knows I'm pretty private with my emotions, especially when I'm sad, I tend to isolate myself. I don't like crying in front of people, or telling anyone when my relationships are on the rocks. I know she was surprised when she read it. She just thought he was an insecure, immature, jealous, asshole.

So, one thing I will be working on is being honest and talking about my problems a little more with my friends, because they are the ones who know me best. Had I confided in my best friend or any of my girlfriends, I know they would have helped me to see that what he was doing to me was wrong. They also would have tied him up, beat him, and ordered him to leave town and never return again!

Hope everyone is having a good night. I'll probably be posting my goodbye letter soon. You're welcome to read it, that is, if you like reading novels that were turned in to movie of the week haha.