i want my mind back

8 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Nov 24 - 12PM
Victim-no-more
Victim-no-more's picture

i want my mind back

ok, I'm getting frustrated. I no longer feel the gut wrenching pain when I think of the piece of shit.....I see him as danger and trouble. I still feel very resentful but the rage has subsided. I know he has nothing to offer and that he exists to use others. But why is he stil monopolizing my thoughts like this? I don't feel like I want to see or talk to him, but my mind keeps going back to him, like what he's doing right now, will he send me a happy thanksgiving text, what type of supply he has at the moment, etc. why do I care? Why is my mind always thinking of him? I do not feel any sense of longing........is it the brainwashing? Im sick of him still taking up space in my head! When will it end? this is not fair. I just want to be free. I don't understand how another person could have gained this degree of control over my thoughts and brain......especially such a worthless loser like him. Will I really get to a point where I don't think of him anymore?

Nov 24 - 5PM
blueworld
blueworld's picture

victimnomore

if you get a chance listen to the radio show link, i think it in 1-3 under this helped me i hope it helps you or something it eye opening
Nov 24 - 1PM
gratefuljen
gratefuljen's picture

Wow, I remember feeling like that!!!

It slowly subsides, and you don't even realize that you have stopped, until a newbie reminds you of what it was like. Work the steps, stay nc, educate yourself, and the whole mess, gradually, gets better, then good, then great. Love to all the newbies, if you do the work, you will heal. SAY NO MORE ABUSE, NO MATTER WHAT!!!! jEN
Nov 24 - 1PM
Done sourcing
Done sourcing's picture

Yes you will get to that

Yes you will get to that point. And it will happen one day and you will realize....wow...it has been an xxx period of time and I haven't given so and so a thought or care. And you will think, holy crap, it happened!!!! Remembering that it was painful, but not feeling the pain, that is what it will be like. Not living obsessed and disturbed, that will be awesomeness itself!!! ds
Nov 24 - 7PM (Reply to #4)
empath
empath's picture

donesourcing

Love the new profile pic! Hahaha...that's awesome!
Nov 24 - 7PM (Reply to #5)
Done sourcing
Done sourcing's picture

metoo! :) ds

metoo! :) ds
Nov 24 - 1PM
uk lady
uk lady's picture

In a word - yes you will

Hi Victim Don't know your story but all I know is that it just takes time and you have to be gentle and patience with yourself. There is no instant fix. I was involved, on/off for 22 years, never married or had kids etc, but have been out now for 7 months with very little contact and some days I feel fantastic, others not so good and v.v. occasionally still very angry that I allowed him to affect my life so deeply when ultimately he wasn't worth the drippings of my nose. LOL. What are you doing for yourself? Because that is the key. Once you get past stages 1-3 - are you? After going through those stages, then you turn it all round and start concentrating on yourself. Still not easy but if you are going through the steps it becomes second nature to look inwards - not to blame yourself - but to recognise if their is a need for you to address anything from your past to help you going forward. You will be free - it just takes work unfortunately. Big hugs. Dee x
Nov 24 - 8PM (Reply to #2)
Victim-no-more
Victim-no-more's picture

I posted my story tonight,

I posted my story tonight, the abridged version that is. Just got home from holiday gathering, drunk, having all kinds of unexpected emotions.....out of nowhere! This is so much fun. Feel like I'm going insane right now.......but its not the first time....lucky me. happy thanksgiving!!!!