I want to get the Basturd Out of MY Head!

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#1 May 23 - 7PM
SoaperGirl
SoaperGirl's picture

I want to get the Basturd Out of MY Head!

I really feel like I don't love him anymore...happily that part of me has died I think. I just don't feel that emotion in me anymore.

I think I would be just great if I could keep thoughts of him from constantly (it seems sometimes) popping into my head! I'll think C'mon Die already! I dont' want to obsess about him anymore. Why can't I stop these random thoughts of from popping into my body...most of the thoughts are of his body and genitalia, of holding him close to me, and seeing him naked.

Crap! I know I don't love him anymore. I don't want him, I don't need him! I just want thoughts of that nasty basturd out of my head! What do you girls do to stop thoughts of him from coming unwanted into your head?

May 23 - 8PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

SoaperGirl

Im Sorry, I think you need to save these thoughts for certain times of the day. Like Narc time. Spend the rest of the time for you time. If you wake up thinking about him grape a book to distract you. He is a waste of brain cells. In time you'll be ok, You're to smart to let him win. Hunter
May 23 - 9PM (Reply to #9)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

Hunter you and another poster

Hunter you and another poster on this thread suggested this and it's a great idea I am going to do it. Thank you. This spinning around just gets you nowhere.
May 23 - 8PM (Reply to #8)
SoaperGirl
SoaperGirl's picture

Well, I did get some new books today

One was on how to find a husband after 35, and the other was on dealing with commitment phobe traits in him and yourself with a heavy dose of narcissim thrown in for good measure, but fascinating none the less.
May 23 - 7PM
Arwen
Arwen's picture

I experience the same

I experience the same problem..what do you think it is for you that keeps it going round and round in your head? For me, first, I am not over it, and secondly, there is a lot of self-loathing/self-blame/feelings of terrible rejections that I go through a lot, and I am very very good at taking on blame.
May 23 - 8PM (Reply to #2)
SoaperGirl
SoaperGirl's picture

I don't blame myself - it was all about him

You know, he tried to project his feelings on me. He called me "Evil". I said "NO, you are the one who is evil". I feel so over this guy. Sometimes, I'll catch myself and realize I haven't thought of him for several minutes. I don't buy his crap! But I would like to quit thinking of him completely. This is the hardest part in my reocvery. It's been three months since the breakup. I keepthing, that this timer next year, everything will be completely different!
May 23 - 8PM (Reply to #3)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

It was the other way around here

During the final D&D, the ex-Psych prof co-opted MY feelings. I was the one feeling disappointed, offended, discomfited, that my personal boundaries had been violated- and HE was the one saying it. HE'D be the one voicing my feelings aloud, so it was a surreal experience, especially when he claimed personal boundary violation when I congratulated him on being engaged (whenever I recount this story, friends/coworkers ask why I didn't get him committed to the local mental hospital) I'd ask HIM how HE felt--and he'd just go blank. Think of the computer having its ERROR 404 message. He'd refer to himself in a disconnected way as "the teacher." He was having some sort of out-of-body experience. Rejection is difficult enough, but when the person who's rejecting is clueless on their OWN FEELINGS-it's bizarre. If he had said "I hate your guts",it would've been saying SOMETHING. No wonder the ex-P spent time in mental hospitals as a youngster. He would've fit in.
May 23 - 9PM (Reply to #4)
Done sourcing
Done sourcing's picture

Make yourself think about the

Make yourself think about the N for five minutes straight, don't let up, even if you want to stop don't...then next time you start catching yourself thinking about the n, tell yourself you will do it in one hour for five minutes, then do it then at the appointed time that you decided on... you will learn you are in control not only of your thoughts, but when you want to think them, then you will realize you are sick of thinking about the jerk...you take control!!!!
May 23 - 9PM (Reply to #6)
Free2bMe4582
Free2bMe4582's picture

That's a great idea! That

That's a great idea! That will also help me control my emotions as I will set aside time (that is controlled) for my obsessive thinking about him. Question, what should I think about? If I fantasize about the good stuff, then I'll be setting myself up to feel worse because its not true.
May 23 - 9PM (Reply to #5)
SoaperGirl
SoaperGirl's picture

Love your suggestion

I'm gonna try it. Thanks!