I took him back..and he broke up with me AGAIN......

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#1 Sep 6 - 3PM
sarah787
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I took him back..and he broke up with me AGAIN......

AHH! I KNEW I SHOULDNT HAVE EVEN ANSWERED MY PHONE 2 WEEKS AGO. He told me how much loved me, how much he wanted to work on this relationship, how he saw himself marrying me, and the sad thing is I believed him. Here are the chain of events that happened right after we got back together:

1.) He lied to me about having unprotected sex with a girl he dated when we were broken up. We didn't have a condom and he promised me he always used protection while we were broken up. At dinner, the next night I asked him again , and he admitted he lied. I was so upset and he almost got up and left, and then came to his senses and apologized, but didn't even offer to pay for my dinner.

2.) After he contacted me and I slept with him, and disinvited me to a party he was having at his house because girls from his past would be there and he didn't want any issues. After the party he apologized.

3.) We went tubing with another couple, and this girl he works with. They were late, and she forgot a piece at work that would help inflate the tube. He blew up and called he f'ing retarted, and stamped his feet like a little boy.

4.) We went wine tasting. I packed this meal I prepared for hours. He wasn't even talking to me. He kept on humming, and then looked at me and said "hey the 80s called they want their skirt back." I told him how much it hurt my feelings. He apologized. At dinner we didn't have anything to talk about. When I brought this up I said I felt like he wasn't isnt in this. He said all I ever do is complain about his jokes of his humming, and that I can never just BE.

I told him that my feelings were hurt. I wasn't mad, but I just stated that sometimes your hurt my feelings. He said our realtionship was f'ing stupid and he drove me home. I cried and begged him to come in. He drove away.

The next day I begged him for another chance. He said one more, but if we bickered over stupid stuff..then that would be it. The next day I told him how I didn't like this whole chance thing. I said relationships take work. He got all upset and said he would call me later.

Within these few hours my friend told my little sister I was dating him again. My little sister freaked out and e-mailed him. She told him that if he had any respect for my family he would leave me alone because this is going to destroy them. My sister is 19, and she never really likes any of the guys I've dated, because she hates losing me.

But he responds. He tells her "mind your own business, and go fake another pregnancy" (my sister did when she was younger, and I told him this while we were dating)

He calls me and tells me about the messages. And says "honestly Anna..this isn't working. You and me both know that. We tried and it didn't work."

I cried and begged. I spent 100 dollars on concert tickets for next month. He told me he would buy them off me. He said that he wants to see me with another guy then cry everyday with him.

I just feel so worthless. Worse than I did before. I was suppose to leave him this time around. I gave him another chance. He broke up with me the day after my cousin's funeral 6 months ago...and I gave him another chance..and got dumped!!!!!!! I am destroyed. I want my dignity back. I can't believe I slept with him. I'm so lonely and I don't feel like I'm ever going to find a love again.

Sep 7 - 7AM
sarah787
sarah787's picture

You are right. I have to

You are right. I have to block his number. I am moving 200 miles away or so in the next few months so I know this is really it this time. I guess what my therapist said to me really got to me. She said that everyone is a narcissist, and if I want to validate his behavior online I can find a website that does so. She said he is 25..and is just unsure as you are. You would think that by now I would realize that HE is the crazy one, but STILL after all this I place blame on myself:(
Sep 7 - 8AM (Reply to #8)
Mariline
Mariline's picture

You should change therapist

You should change therapist I guess...she is not helping you at all. Besides it is so typically narcissistic what he did. Luring you back just to find an excuse to send you away. Narc bullshit. Next time don't answer the phone. This grief is not useless. Remember it. Next time, you will remember it...and you will not answer. (((Hugs)))
Sep 7 - 6AM
Scoop
Scoop's picture

Sarah

oh sweet heart , no more of this crazy , you beautiful caring little sister has now been abused by him , thats enough now . Heres the thing with NC it hurts , there is no easy way round it it hurts like hell for a long time , you have done NC before and you know what it is like but you didnt do long enough . You did five months before am i right ? it takes 18 months . i would go as far to say your narc is a full blown psycopath and very dangerous . You know the drill , block him , do not answer him , cut him off . Come here to us and we will get you through it , we all know how hard it is , and heres the thing you have to remember not all men are like him , i know you are young and he was youre first love but in years to come you will find out just how sick this freak is ... damm it you will be an expert in psycopathic behaviour and proberly writing books about it xx keep strong , stay here , its time to say ENOUGH ! xxx
Sep 6 - 9PM
Tinker
Tinker's picture

know what u mean...

Sarah, my N was so awful to me about a month ago - absolutely mean and horrible, including calling me white trash (i have a graduate degree and a great career) among other things, broke it off with me and I went nuts. I begged him for more time and he turned me down. I told him I was close to suicidal and he didn't care at all. I could barely get out of bed. Soon after, he started contacting me again. Now I'm breaking things off on my schedule and in a way I am comfortable with. My point is, you have to calm down, breathe and take care of yourself. He'll probably contact you again as they have such a hard time letting go. But worse comes to worst, you're in the healing phase (though it feels awful right now, I so understand). Hugs... marissa
Sep 6 - 5PM
Steph
Steph's picture

""hey the 80s called they

""hey the 80s called they want their skirt back."" What an ass! Tell him that Hell called and they'd like their mascot back. I'm sorry this happened to you again. Somehwere inside of you, you must know what an abusive loser he is. Right? maybe it's just become a habit with you, that you have to prove your worthiness to him and he will be your night in shining armour. He will never be anything better that what he is now. He does not define your worth. You do. Look deep deep deep inside of you and find strength to kick this guy to the curb for the last time.
Sep 6 - 6PM (Reply to #3)
wholeagain
wholeagain's picture

LOL

Hell called and they want their mascot back :) Sarah darlin, I'm with Staying Strong on this one. If you can get some perspective via NC your vision will start to clear and you'll hopefully see that this man isn't worth the ground you walk on. And, sadly, while you loved with your big heart, there was never love on his side. He's a good actor, but not capable of the real deal. I'm rooting for you to wash that man right outta your hair. xoxo
Sep 6 - 10PM (Reply to #4)
cluelessuntilnow
cluelessuntilnow's picture

whole again!

LMAO! Hell called they want their mascot back! OMG I needed to laugh. I am in hell with my ex N on day 12 NC and you made me laugh which I have not done in days! Thank you!
Sep 6 - 3PM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

sarah

I dont know how old you are but this is so reminiscent of what went on in my twenties. The push and pull and the begging. I can barely even read that as it brings back so many memories. Atleast he did say this isnt working. Mine never did he just wanted to keep me around begging. It eventually did end. and then.... 15 years later FB and wham there he was again telling me he had always loved me and he wanted to make things right. How greateful he was to have another chance. Just beware... they are never truly gone. As for the comment your sister made, My friend made a similiar comment some 15 years ago. Mind you she was a mutual friend. His response: She's mine Ill come back for her went I want her. Stay out our business" I remember her saying it completely creeped her out. She said its like he owned you. Like you were a possesion. We knew nothing of Narcissism. I guess he meant what he said. He did in fact come back for me.