today i realize how much of the three years was nothing to him, nothing ! i had a whole different reality bending over backwards, changing, rearranging, adjusting, sacraficing, forgiving, forgetting, ignoring, taking blame, taking the heat, being thrown, choked, grabbed, name calling, compulsive lying, emotional cheating
coming to him to talk, because it was so uncomfortable not working it out....only to have it not worked out
him...getting better and better at the game he was playing because i in a different reality gave him...explained to him..EVERYTHING I NEEDED AND WHAT NEEDED TO BE DONE
to fix heal deal the problems
but nothing resolved
pain didnt go away
truths didnt come out
and if anyting did it was thrown back into my face a million times later
everything, job losses, family issues, failure to be this big huge performer and have a demo album, lossing friends, lack of money, stress, his unhappyiness, not having freedom, im controling him, he cant even talk to another girl
the MotherF*cker was doing everything and anything he wanted the whole time and made me ME feel bad when i questioned ANYTHING
and what did i do??? im sorry!! please forgive me!! talk to me!! what did i do or didnt do?! im sorry your other relationships cheated and lied to you im not doing that to you!!
i comforted him after he bashed me! name called me! hurt me!
its all about him!!! it always was and i was such a loving trusting caring open communicating never lying playing games cheating emotionally or physically i was OPEN and i beleived i WAS recieving or would recieve the same thing
NO WONDER I AM SO EMPTY ANGRY AND IN PAIN
i got no closure no
"im sorry i used you lied to you all the time on purpose stole from you put my hands on you accidently killed your dog never stood up for you forced you to have two abortions drug you with me all over the state and then to vegas, posted you on cheaters sites, never stopped getting girls numbers or lying to you about everything all the time everyday, used you or played with you deliberately knowing you loved me with all your heart and ripped yourself apart trying to get me to just respect you!!!!!!!
talked shit about you to my family when all the blame is on me, never was there for you never really cared what happened to you, scared you, threatened you, broke your heart, mind fucked you, isolated you and made you feel bad for every single thing that went wrong..made you give up your friends when i kept mine..always flirted, lied where i was and who i was with, berated you, made you practically earn sex and then blame you when i want it and you didnt want to give it up, accusing you constantly of cheating or lying..
telling you i hate you and i have found another who is better then you that gives me everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NO of course not i wont hear a ffn thing. GOD I HATE HIM!!!!