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I survived unavoidable brief contact with Indifference and Dignity!

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#1 Aug 13 - 10PM
Anonymous (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I survived unavoidable brief contact with Indifference and Dignity!

Whoa! I did it! i did it! I did it! I feel like celebrating. There was an emergency of types happening in a parking lot that I needed to attend to. My friend got hurt ( she is fine). He pulls up. He can SMELL a woman in distress. He is a like a dog in heat with this kind of scenario. He wants to be the superman savior just so he can reel me in and get my attention. NO WAY! NO MORE! EVER!

I completely ignored him when he tried to intervene and my friend and I were able to keep moving. I was quivering inside...but I am so proud of myself. I did not look affected. I did not say a word. I held my head high and helped my friend without needing a damn thing from him.

It is hours later and I am still wound up..but before- I would then be craving more of something from him..Now I just feel like having a drink and celebrating.

I am going to be ok. I am going to actually be better than okay. I am going to survive and thrive without this abyss in my life.

Thanks for listening, fellow Warrior Women!

Aug 14 - 4PM
ruby01 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

strivingforhealing

I know you had given this situation a lot of forethought and it looks like it paid off for you. Congratulations! I know that we have emotions and they do not, but we also have common sense and logic. Use all of these things together and you will keep yourself safe from this jerk and in all your future relationships. I'm proud of you! Ruby
Aug 14 - 2PM
Arwen
Arwen's picture

Wow my heart rate goes up

Wow my heart rate goes up just putting myself into your body and imagining your narc being so close...you did great!!! Oh you should feel so good about how strong you were. It is still sad, I know, and the aftermath is gonna suck, but you kept your pride in a very difficult circumstance. You showed him also how self-sufficient you are. WOW what a BLOW to this N's crumbling house of cards! GO GIRL!
Aug 15 - 12AM (Reply to #6)
strivingforhealing (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Thanks so much. and yes- today I am sad...

I forgot that this could happen. any contact ( even not of my choosing) brings some weird "high" and then there is a crash....the crash is : sadness and grief at the SIMPLE UTTER REALITY that he will never be my loving partner. Ow. that still hurts....alot...I was 20 yards from the man who I loved with every ounce of my being, and he wanted to come to my rescue, and what I knew I had to do- was IGNORE 100%. This is a fucking hard hard reality.... I am sad today. I am going to post separately on this sadness. it needs to be shared so I don't keep it inside and hurt alone. thank you all so much
Aug 15 - 2AM (Reply to #7)
Arwen
Arwen's picture

Striving your sadness is

Striving your sadness is shared by me today unfortunately...I honestly don't know how you did it. I just know something so healthy inside of you kicked in and said, "no". Just plain and simple, "No". To everything he did to you, to everything he didn't do. I would probably have gone to mine and looked for signs of love towards me and hoped he would ask me to go for a drink afterwards. You are so brave. We all know this horrid pain of the truth that they are not really ours at all. They really belong to no one. Isn't that sad? LOVE Arwen
Aug 15 - 1PM (Reply to #8)
strivingforhealing (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Thank you Arwen so much

the "NO" to him was a "YES" for me. Finally, I just have given up on the illusion, the dream that will never be....It has been a long slow death...but it has come. and my heart aches so much. Love, Striving
Aug 14 - 2PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

WAHOOOOOOOOOOOO! Hunter

WAHOOOOOOOOOOOO! Hunter
Aug 14 - 7AM
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

Fantastic!

You were super! And if you really want to slay a N, you ignore him.
Aug 14 - 2PM (Reply to #3)
strivingforhealing (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

thanks guys! the Ignoring was so empowering I have to say

I wondered what I would do when I ran into him. I worried about it frankly. Did he deserve a hello? Hell No , but i also did not want to look scared and affected. I was so concerned about my friend so that helped alot- the shift of attention...and he did not get too close to me- over 20 yards away...I knew he could detect my vibe of stay the fuck away....but still- i am proud that I conveyed NOTHING to him... I do notice that I have replayed the event around in my head alot. that is my obsessive mind at work. but I am okay with that.... I also feel a little down today, as expected too. Sad and fully aware of the FINALITY of our relationship. that hurts. but as my amazing therapist is helping me to do- Allowing all the feelings. not stuffing them because once I allow them- the good, bad, scary, loud ones- they get quieter eventually... Thanks for listening. Let's all hold our heads high today
Aug 14 - 5AM
adoette
adoette's picture

strivingforhealing

Wow. That is HUGE. Way to go! Thanks for sharing your accomplishment. That says a lot about where you are and where you are heading!