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I survived my first "solo" party

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#1 Dec 17 - 12AM
janemarie
janemarie's picture

I survived my first "solo" party

Earlier I posted that I was going to my first party alone after more than 25 years. Im glad I went due to all of your encouragement.

Honestly...it wasnt the BEST time I ever had...but I have to say it was nice to be out at a social event and not have to worry if the xnc is ok...or tired...or bored... I also didnt have to worry about someone watching my every move and listening to my every word so he can criticize it later.

I did bump into one of the exn's friends...a couple who I have also become friends with thru him...The wife has supported me all along but it was when her husband...the exn friend...came up to me and explained how he knew that the exn was unstable and thought he finally got his act together,,,but is disappointed that he didnt..He also told me what a fool the exn is to ruin things with me being what a warm genuine person I am!! That was soooo nice to hear from "HIS' friend!!! Other than that conversation I really didnt want to talk about him anymore...so I had to tell the wife to please stop...

Other than that...it was a little awkward at times being alone BUT...I feel victorious now that it's over and I have survived...which means I WILL SURVIVE ANY OTHER EVENTS THAT I HAVE TO ATTEND ALONE!!! And there is nothing wrong with that!! Baby steps....and I took my first steps today...yay!!

Take your baby steps....you'll get better with practice xoxo

I

Dec 17 - 8AM
ReclaimingPower
ReclaimingPower's picture

Oh I am sooooooooo very happy

Oh I am sooooooooo very happy for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dec 17 - 7AM
Layla
Layla's picture

Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding!!!!

We have a winner! And it's janemarie! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! love~ Layla
Dec 17 - 7AM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

I am soooooooo happy that you

I am soooooooo happy that you went AND had a good time! Now, tonight is the Christmas Cookie Exchange Party right? Are the cookies baked yet? This is so exciting Janemarie! You go girl!
Dec 17 - 7AM (Reply to #13)
janemarie
janemarie's picture

Sparrow

Thanks and yes the cookie exchange party is tonite...and no I dont have the cookies done yet...the wind is coming out of my sail:( My head has been in such a fog for the last few weeks...I feel all mixed up...I still have holiday shopping to do...wrapping...bills to pay...You see...I finally woke up and realized that nothing was getting done... Ive had a good few days...and feeling strong...now I have to clean up this mess I made while I was "sleeping"...so now Im overwhelmed BUT...by 7 tonite...I will have those damn cookies baked and will force myself out the door. Kinda feel like backing out of this one....but I'll go...and Ill come home and find comfort in all of you!!! Thank God for all of you!!! And of course you Sparrow xoxo
Dec 17 - 8AM (Reply to #14)
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

Janemarie, what doesn't get

Janemarie, what doesn't get one today, can get done tomorrow. It's important to o things that make you happy and fulfilled right now. However, if you are neglecting things in you life that can take a " snowball affect" make sure not to keep putting them off. If you do, you can become very overwhelmed. But with that said, it is the holiday season and Christmas is just one week away. Enjoy yourself and your family and friends! Can't wait to hear about your night! Have fun my friend! Tonight, I am going out with girlfriends as well! We are going to a cool Moracan restaurant, excellent food, byob, belly dancers and hookahs. All while we wear "ugly Christmas sweaters" and exchange Pollyanna gifts/secret Santa. Going to be a hoot! I will sit down and write out my bills tomorrow! :) It's all good!
Dec 17 - 8AM (Reply to #15)
janemarie
janemarie's picture

Bills can wait

That sounds like soooo much fun!!!! I cant wait to hear about it!!! Let your hair down girl!!! xoxo
Dec 17 - 7AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

I'm so excited and proud of

I'm so excited and proud of your strength... See..you did it.. You'll keep doing it.. Happy Holidays Hunter
Dec 17 - 7AM (Reply to #11)
janemarie
janemarie's picture

Thanks Hunter...I see you've

Thanks Hunter...I see you've been on here for a while...I love your encouragement and Im assuming that you have moved on and are healed or pretty damn close. All your hi fives to me...mean a lot!! xoxo Janemarie
Dec 17 - 4AM
Used
Used's picture

janemarie

Well Done YOU ARE VERY BRAVE..... That akwardness will pass, the more *STEPS YOU TAKE*..... You also reminded me of something, when i was with exn, I felt so uncomfortable, cos I always got the feeling that he was like a horse at the gate, waiting to get going...lol, or if he stayed, HE WAS BORED, OR FELT LIKE SXXT, OR HE WAS TIRED[LUCKY ME BEING WITH HIM], in the end it was a relief if he said, I AM SHOOTING OFF USED....I USED TO THINK THANK GOD......THEY ARE SUCH NUISANCES!!!!! You will be so comfortable with out him in the end, you will wonder why you went anywhere with him....I DO!!!!!!
Dec 17 - 7AM (Reply to #9)
janemarie
janemarie's picture

Used

Such a HUGE nuisance they are!!!!! I do wonder why I did anything with him AT ALL!! When I find myself going into my sad place I actually yell at myself LOL "Cmon...he was boring as hell...who cares..pull yourself together woman!!" All kidding aside...its so nice to see that you understand what Im talking about!! xoxo
Dec 17 - 4AM
JRB123
JRB123's picture

Yay!

Yay! Well done! It's onwards and upwards from here! Life will get better and better for you. The narc will soon be just a distant bad memory! There's a whole life out there waiting for you with good people in it who will treat you right. Things can only get better from now on!
Dec 17 - 7AM (Reply to #7)
janemarie
janemarie's picture

JRB123

I cant wait till the narc is a distant memory.....he doesnt deserve an ounce of my memory!!! Upward and onward...I like that!! Cheers to us!!! xoxo
Dec 17 - 1AM
uk lady
uk lady's picture

Great news Janemarie

I am so pleased for you. And it is always good to receive confirmation from others that the x has the problem. Baby steps are all that are required at this stage but practise makes perfect - so put your dancing shoes on next time, just in case. Well done. Dee x
Dec 17 - 7AM (Reply to #5)
janemarie
janemarie's picture

uk lady

I hate the fact that I NEED that confirmation...but the truth is...it helps!! Makes me know that IM NOT CRAZY!!!!! Thanks for the dancing shoes advise....Im gonna keep dancing through till I find my peace!! xoxo
Dec 17 - 1AM
Sea
Sea's picture

Congrats!! You rock!! I was

Congrats!! You rock!! I was just reading your earlier post and saw your updates. Its a v good self esteem booster! You will rem how beautiful, sociable, attractive person u are! And always will be!
Dec 17 - 7AM (Reply to #2)
janemarie
janemarie's picture

Sea

WOW!! Thanks!! I had a very good self esteem booster last night....not out of the woods yet...but getting there!! Thanks for the encouraging words!! xoxo
Dec 17 - 8AM (Reply to #3)
nomoredenial
nomoredenial's picture

yay good for you

Im glad you pushed yourself and made yourself that much stronger!!!