I saw him today with a new woman :(

21 posts / 0 new

#1 Oct 12 - 6PM

Anonymous (not verified)

I saw him today with a new woman :(

N/C 1 month today.

A girlfriend of mine has been trying to set me up with this really sweet guy she knows whom she says reminds her of her husband. And her husband treats her like a queen and is an incredible man. Long story/short, this guy and I are meeting up for a beverage on Thursday evening.
He sent me a couple of cute, funny texts this afternoon and I felt good, giddy almost.
New guy and narc have the same name.

So I'm driving this afternoon, feeling great...and as I'm passing by the turn off to narc's street (there was no other way to take as my child was in a sporting event that I had just left) I see him and this woman power walking. Power walking like a couple of the most happiest power walkers I'd ever seen in my life. Man they looked happy. Thrilled. Her long hair was flowing in the wind.

Immediately I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I felt like throwing up.

My happy went to crappy in seconds flat.

So after that delightful moment, my brain chatter begins. 1 month and he's with some new girl already! He's probably on his night shifts, she has no kids...she's over there for dinner and they're out for a nice walk while dinner is cooking. I bet they went to the pumpkin patch with his kids and had Thanksgiving with his parents like we did last year. (We live in Canada.)

He always called me paranoid. Maybe my paranoia drove him right into the arms of the happy power-walker. Maybe if I had of been more self-assured like happy power-walker lady, we'd be great right now. Maybe he wouldn't of had to keep looking for other "fixes" if I'd of chilled out the first time, or the second...or the ten other times.

He admitted he had been to blame somewhat for my paranoia. Who wouldn't be? Does a normal guy have multiple female friends (platonic friends) who they need to chat with regularly on Facebook, msn, texting and phone calls?
Is that normal for some folks?

This power walking stallion-ess probably doesn't care if he chats on msn with women friends or on Facebook or whatever. And according to "Men Love Bitches", lol...you should set out to trap a man, but allow him to think he's trapping you.
So jealousy, paranoia and all those other things turn a guy off.

So is he a narc or was he just a normal guy waiting to meet the right girl and I screwed it up!?

Ladies, I need you. Thanks all.

#2 Oct 13 - 9AM

neverlookback

Poor woman with her hair flowing in the wind....

I feel sorry for the "new woman" you very well know what is in store for her. Dont let this set you back. You are free from the sphere of a disordered person. Remember he wont turn off his disorder with her anymore than he could with you.

#3 Oct 13 - 9AM (Reply to #20)

Used

losing it

feel sorry for the "new woman" you very well know what is in store for her. Dont let this set you back. You are free from the sphere of a disordered person..... this woman will lose her hair if she stays with him...as sure as eggs are eggs..

#4 Oct 13 - 8AM

enoughalready

movingforward

It's all about projection, deception and lies with these people. Just remember-he will do the same thing if not, worse to the next woman he deceives. Stay NC and everything else will clear from your mind. XOXO

#5 Oct 13 - 8AM

Belinda

hi Even if he wormed his way

hi Even if he wormed his way into a relationship with lets say Ms World of the universe, he would pick her apart, attempt to destroy her. "They" are the most paranoid,in a constant state of paranoia. That someone,or anyone will see through the illusion. He was projecting his fear onto you. The trigger of seeing him even if he was 'alone' would make anyones brain chatter I think. Just be proud of yourself that you escaped cause if you think of it wasn't it a daily occurance that "your happy turned crappy" ? Now you can be happy that you will never let anyone attempt to make you feel crappy. Hugs Belinda

#6 Oct 13 - 6AM

jaycee

i saw him today

moving, dont ever blame yourself, as narc go, they will tell you you are paranoid, crazy, etc, no man has female friends he needs to constantly be in contact with, unless he is screwing them. its true, it wouldnt have mattered if you were the power walker of the century, a marathon runner, or even on the cover of vogue, a narc is a narc, and it doesnt matter who or what you are, its all about him, please, dont blame yourself, could of , should of, i say it everyday, if i were like his whore, demanding and controlling, would he have been the husband i wanted, NO, hes a narc, everything he did was to satisfy himself, everything he does is to satisfy himself, i was always blamed, i was crazy he said, i was paranoid, i destroyed everything because i had to be a fn detective he said, if i shut my fn mouth, hed still be here, he said, i was blamed for everything, and trust me, thats a narc, blame everyone so you can justify your actions, and make it ok to hurt your wife or girlfriend........they are pieces of shit, so let him powerwalk all he wants, he will powerwalk to the next very soon, trust me. feel better xoxo Jaycee

Jaycee

#7 Oct 13 - 6AM

helldweller

movingforward

Ok, I know you must feel like completel crap, but seriously? They were POWER WALKING??? I can picture just him at their first conversation: "OMG! I love power walking TOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Jesus, the crap the narc told me he liked to do until he hooked me. Walking, traveling, watching old movies, gardening, GOING TO CHURCH LOL. Why don't they just say, "I like to have sex, hang around with men, and leer at women. That's about it!" The girl's right: that poor power walker is going to be curled up in the fetal position in short order, while the narc texts in the next room or jacks off to porn on the computer--or hopefully she is "power"ful enough to keep walking--or maybe start running--far away from him.

#8 Oct 13 - 3AM

ewa

Movingforward

I know how you are feeling at the moment. But i can assure you this woman is another vulnerable pray of your exN. And if she is not vulnerable she will leave him soon. Self confident girl will not stay with them, as they do not treat us good. She is happy now with him but do you remember you were also happy with him on the beginning of your relationship? My ex N was also contacting regular different women (chat, mail, sms). It drived me crazy and i think every women would get angry with that. They do it to keep the old sources of supply available in case they could not access the main sources of supply for some reason. But this women are not so important to them in general. Mine have few of such supplies and when i broke up with him he found completely new one. So NO - YOU DID NOT SCREW THIS UP! Just give it time and you will see.

#9 Oct 12 - 11PM

iAmMINE

I can't add...

any more than the wisdom that has already been shared, but I can give you a great big cyber hug!! ((((((((((((((((((((((((movingforward))))))))))))))))))))))))) PS: read your name (movingforward) outloud to yourself when the "mindchatter" happens... cuz girlfriend that's what you're doing! PSS: and her "flowing locks" are gonna get all dried out and thin out from all the stress and the only thing that will be flowing in the wind is her sanity, you KNOW that already ;) ~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~ ~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them, --she said, (taken from my final remarks in a Sync Weekly Magazine article about my art and mySelf

~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~

~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them.

#10 Oct 12 - 7PM

better off

She looks so happy because

She looks so happy because she DOESN'T KNOW yet. And wow, I bet he's always been 100% into power walking, right? And after she trusts him and he immediately gets bored with her after that, he'll probably rather chop off his feet than go power walking...and he'll be back to texting, calling and facebooking a dozen other women, telling her she's paranoid, and she'll probably be under her covers, crying in the dark, trying to remember what it was like when she was strong and power walking, before she power walked right into a trap. But yeah, of course it sucks for you to have seen that, especially so unexpectedly. Just remember... you were happy before you saw that. You were happy. Without him. So keep moving forward, and you will be make it.. ;-)

#11 Oct 13 - 10AM (Reply to #12)

chickon2

wowzers

"She looks so happy because she DOESN'T KNOW yet. And wow, I bet he's always been 100% into power walking, right? And after she trusts him and he immediately gets bored with her after that, he'll probably rather chop off his feet than go power walking...and he'll be back to texting, calling and facebooking a dozen other women, telling her she's paranoid, and she'll probably be under her covers, crying in the dark, trying to remember what it was like when she was strong and power walking, before she power walked right into a trap." SIIIGH, this hit my heart, in a good way, thank you for posting this.. I dunno what happend to me last night.. maybe the 2 months? maybe this power walking shenanigan. I snooped in his FB.. WTF did I do that, and most importantly can he just get another PW? heh. ANywhoo.. what you posted here is EXACTLY what is happening. He works at a school,(not a high school) and he has students on his FB., um way younger that he asks out on dates.. blech.. and it was one after the other , students, non students, chicks he used to chase b4 me, now he is at it again. I became jealous of one of the girls, that seems to have it all together, no kids and he is relentless with her. He tried to sell his "straight edged" church goer side, and the fact that he loves his mom will make him a great husband and father.. .. The chick replied with I don't buy that theory.. He put a new profile Pic smiling... ick.. I dont' know why I snoooped I haven't in the longest.. AND Worse of all Why am I pissed off that he hasn't contacted me at all? which is CRAZY.. B/c I should be soo happy, that he really only displayed the loving,all spoiling latin lover side to me, and I "caught" his lies before I saw the uglyness.. AND I will just sum up all my loco ness behavior on PMS SI? ok venting over.. AND The power walking stuff still makes me laugh.. sorry it was hurtful though...

#12 Oct 12 - 8PM (Reply to #10)

almostlydia

So sorry for the shock. I

So sorry for the shock. I dread it immensely. There is nothing I can add to all the great responses above except I hate power walkers. I think they look so stupid. I would not be jealous in the least. Actually, I would be laughing about it after the shock wore off. almostlydia

almostlydia

#13 Oct 12 - 8PM (Reply to #11)

movingforward (not verified)

Agreed 100% almostlydia!

I've always thought power walkers were cheesy. I can almost one up that with another dose of cheese from the past...(which now, truly is hilarity): The second narc I was involved with off/on for nearly 5 yrs was one of my bosses. He not only left me to marry someone else...came back after she had him arrested....I welcomed his sorry arse back only to have him leave me for our interior decorator. One day he came into the office in a pink men's dress shirt (when pink made the big come-back oh, back in '04) and he had their little cheesy dog with him & the dog had a pink shirt on. The three of them....boss narc, little dog w/pink shirt and the new woman all drove off in the sunset out of the office parking lot in a convertable Miata. 2 months later I quit my job Bridget Jone's style, left the city & persued a new career. Man I know how to pick 'em!

#14 Oct 12 - 7PM

michele115 (not verified)

Hey!...Stop that!

POWER walker...exactly...and her locks flowing in the wind...POWER walking...good for them. He did not appreciate you, suffers from an incurable mental illness. POWER walker... Keep on walking right past them. Let them enjoy thier love nest. It can't be based on much. YOU KNOW WHAT HE IS... You were paranoid for a reason. You are locking yourself in the box, he's gone...now it's on you. Everything from this moment on, is on you. What's your choice. Look forward to the beverage - stop staying stuck in the PAST. It's hard, but let them keep on POWER walking...you move on. Sometimes you just gotta think to yourself...WHO CARES. Good luck...move forward http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbyAZQ45uww

#15 Oct 12 - 7PM

Briseis

Hold on sweetie, you just

Hold on sweetie, you just got walloped. When you are so newly "out" all ya have to do is SEE him to feel like you got a brick upside your head. In your post, all that you wrote after "So after that delightful moment, my brain chatter begins." is the fallout of just seeing him. It is like E=mc squared. 2+2=4 . You see him, your brain falls down the rabbit hole. I don't think we can really help it. Just remember this: Don't believe everything you think, OK? :D Step back and see the brain chatter as "not you". As maybe, someone else thinking it. As some other abused woman thinking it. Anything to get a bit of objectivity. At least that's what help/ed/s me. To add insult to injury you saw him with his new victim. Feel sorry for her. Her happiness is doomed. It's really very sad. She's gonna have her heart wrung out like a dishcloth and be left in the sink to get moldy. At least that's how she'll feel before long. These "things" happen. And the brain chatter will pass. The brain chatter is . . . in the great scheme of things, just a bunch of bullshit. Mental bullshit, you know? Reality has not changed. You are free. Your child/ren are free. Your life is looking up. You have a date to look forward to :) . Everything is good. Nothing's changed.

#16 Oct 12 - 6PM

movingforward (not verified)

p.s.

Guess he found his "long term" person he was seeking for on POF. I haven't checked to see if he still has his account in 1 month. I've been trying to take this N/C stuff seriously, it helps, but days like today hurt like a son of a bitch.

#17 Oct 12 - 7PM (Reply to #2)

chickon2

Ugh

I have no answer.. BUT i feel like when and if I see the EXN I will feel like you just described.. UGH But, I have to admit. this "This power walking stallion-ess " made me pee in my pants a little.. GOD thank you for humor.. AND sometimes, what we see, is not really what we see..... HUGS.......

#18 Oct 12 - 8PM (Reply to #3)

movingforward (not verified)

Thank you!!!

Allthatglitters: You are so right. She has no idea what he’s like yet…and I do know. Thank you for that. Better off: So true about power walking…we used to go out for strolls, but it was mostly leisurely strolling or me hip checking him into a sprinkler…and LOVE that you put it into perspective for me, about her one day crying in the dark remembering her strong power walking days, that is SO true. Michele: that video made me laugh my ass off, I love putting parts of my life together with music and man that was some funny stuff. Thank you!! Briseis: you truly are amazing with words, thank you for allowing me to see the reality, that myself and my daughter are indeed free. And yes, that chatter is b.s. :-) Chickon: Thank you!!! Lol…gotta laugh at life sometimes! ;) Girls, I don’t know what I’d do without this place to restore my sanity from time to time. You’re all such incredible, strong women. Thank you for showing me strength today xoxo

#19 Oct 12 - 8PM (Reply to #4)

blueeyes

girl,power walk?

I know it hurts! I can't imagine seeing this. It would probably make me pull over and take the swinging hair and slap a B up and say "he is a liar, cheater, fake loser." I wouldn't do it of course but I'd be crushed! You have one thing I don't have tho! YOURSELF! I haven't gone NC yet so I am stuck in this hell! Your out! REJOICE! As for the power walking ho, she will power walk her ass away from him in no time flat!

#20 Oct 12 - 8PM (Reply to #5)

movingforward (not verified)

LMAO!!

Hilarious!! Loved that :D lol damn power walking freaks... It takes time to get to the point of doing N/C...this is my final attempt. He and I were off and on for a year and a half, I tried to get away from him and the 1/2 incredible vs. 1/2 toxic situation multiple times but either I'd drunk text him or he'd call me at 2am with some words of wisdom. I almost cracked this weekend and sent a text, almost cracked today and sent a text. But I imagine him telling me "yes, I'm happy now, and I do hope you can find someone who will make you happy too" And I decide against it...you'll get there blueeyes -- promise!

#21 Oct 13 - 8AM (Reply to #6)

blueeyes

TY! I promise

I promised myself I will get there as well! What a supportive group! Thanks! Hope your NC continues...

Path Forward Buy Now Reviews
All About Her Buy Now Reviews
All About Him Buy Now Reviews