I really meant absolutely nothing to her

We really meant nothing to them. This is finally beginning to sink in.

Hoovered recently (though I am not all that sure that is what it really was, I feel it was more of a "let's see if I can pour some salt in Rose's wounds") Cruella (xN) told me she was moving far away. And would be selling some of my things at her rummage sale if I didn't make arrangements with her to come and get them. Oh, in addition to these things she had some other mystery item she wanted me to have. She also sent me a chain of letters we had exchanged between us 2 YEARS ago when things were "good" at least on the surface...which really tore me up inside. I must have cried for three solid days. This was last month.

Lastnight, through a random post of a mutual friend I learned she had a date last night.
Who dates right before they are going to move hundreds (or more) miles away? What's the use? You have already made your decision you are leaving, why become entangled and risk hurting someone else or making it harder on yourself to leave with a clean break? I guess just to avoid being alone on a Saturday night (because we know they cannot be alone) and for some meaningless sex?? Better yet, WHY SHOULD I CARE???

In my own defense, I've now hidden posts from all the "mutual friends" who were never really my friends in the first place. I am sure that all the dozens of women (and men?) she "dates" end up being friended by her friends. It's all shallow games and they can all inflate each other's egos with their sickening pretentious wine and cheese critiques and solve the problems of the world whilst looking down on the great unwashed and (formally) uneducated like me.

Maybe I need a one-on-one with Goldie. I really wished I was further along than I am after 18 months. I still think of my X all the time. To be honest, there isn't a hardly a minute that goes by that I do not. And I've got to stop waiting for my "Jack Dawson" or anyone else to rescue me. It is so hard to let go of that idea of the perfect fantasy fairy tale...
Well, these are just my Sunday night ramblings. Thanks for taking the time to read.
Rose

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