I once again feel like I'm having a nervous breakdown...

I think its ur instincts kicking in ur gut feelings..if 1 thing iv learned is to go w/my gut feelings..I would have saved myself alot of heartache!! Listen to ur inner voice! xoxo

At one point after my last breakup, I remember saying to myself that I'd rather lose my job than lose my ex. Now I can look back on that conversation and laugh, because my job actually gives me things, while the ex just took away. There are short-term medications to deal with the anxiety, and there are muscle relaxation techniques you can use, and there are wonderful psychologists out there who can help you. I have (although they're fading) a lot of anxiety disorders and issues, and I agree with everyone else that anxiety is a sign that something isn't right. Wonder of all wonders, I don't really have panic attacks anymore now that I'm emotionally free of my ex. Please don't lose your job over this man. I don't care what he's acting like NOW, his past history (which indicates future behavior) says that he's abusive, manipulative, and is only using you. You can change yourself, but you can't change him. And I think he's unlikely to change, given what he's done. I already posted to you in your other thread, but I think you should have nothing to do with him or any other guy for six months. Learn to be alone and happy with YOU.

We all understand what you are going through. I am going through it now myself. What all the women said here was so correct and what Goldie said was so true. You know in your gut something is wrong. Anxiety is telling you that. But your heart doesn't want you to believe it. That is how I feel too. But you must believe it. You know what the answer is, it is just hard to face. Evil is hard to confront. We so desperately want to believe that these N's are good, but truly they are the most selfish people. They are no good. The narc knows he will never commit, but he will steal your happiness away from you if you are about to meet someone else just so that you can be there for his beck and call and supply. You must be strong. I know it's difficult. Go out for long walks and look at the trees and sky. Listen to the birds. Only think about what it would feel like to be free of all this pain. I am struggling with all those emotions now, but a lot of our dear friends here on this site have arrived at the other side and they are offering us their hand to pull us out. Take their hand. I just read this today....worry looks around, sorry looks back, but faith looks up. Have faith. We will get there. Sending you love. xoxo Anita

of saying that something is not quite right. I first experienced axiety in my early 20's when I was in a relationship with an addict. I had it again last year when I took up with the Narc. I otherwise do not experience much anxiety. I believe I had this because my head was telling me one thing, my emotions another, and my heart and soul were in constant tormoil. My body started to break down from all of this confusion. His actions were not matching his words and I was so gaga in love with this man that I had no idea which way was up for a few months. What happened with me was to realize that it DID NOT MATTER whether or not I was in love with him. What MATTERED was that my body was telling me that something was seriously wrong and I got out. So many woman say: "oh but I love him so much and he is the love of my life" type of thing. Does not matter, if the person is toxic and makes you feel mentally, physically, or spiritually ill then there is your answer. These people are poison to us on oh so many levels. I was crying, angry, jealous, had anxiety, couldn't sleep, ect... Does all this sound like a loving relationship? I was doing better as I approached 3.5 months NC and the sister emails me and I have been out of sorts for 2 weeks over that email. I know he put her up to it and I keep feeling and thinking, what a nerve after all he has done to me. How dare this man contact me through her. They all know I loved him and therefore they see me as a soft touch for him. Once again, just because we love someone does not mean we NEED to be with them if they are not good for us. Sarah, if you can get this now, you will spare yourself many many years of heartache. Love is a choice it is a decision, it is not JUST about emotions. This man is making you sick. What else do you need to know? You feel like crap because he is playing you again and you will continue to feel sick as long as you continue these discussions with him. Your body is speaking to you and if you want to get better you need to listen to your body. NOT HIM, HE IS FULL OF SHIT!!! How do I know this? I know this because I read all your posts again because I am concerned about you and it is clear to see that he came back after he heard you were hanging with another guy and he got pissed so back he comes to try and regain his control and as soon as he gets you back he will go back to his old self, his true self. This is all about getting back what he cannot have. Do you want to spend years playing this game? You will feel better, eventually if you give yourself enough time to heal and put the focus back on you. How long will it take? Don't know for sure, it varies with everyone. I understand this debilitating axiety and it feels like it will never end, however it will, and you have to take the steps to change this. I would suggest that you contact Betty and get some phone numbers so you can stay in touch with someone on here who can walk you through this and or spend some time with a family member or a close friend who understands what you are going through if you have someone like that. Going to your Doctor (if you don't feel better, call back the office and tell them you are in crisis and need to see him a.s.a.p.) and a councelor if you don't have one would be good. You need some tender loving care right now while you sort out your feelings. He has you in this state with the recent contact and you need time for you right now. You are in my prayers as you walk through this difficult and heartbreaking process. God bless, Goldie

I can tell you Yoga was my salvation. It calms the mind and forces you to focus on something other than your issues. If you don't belong to a gym that offers it, there are dvd's you can get at the bookstore or maybe your cable provider offers it, I know mine does (Comcast) and it is free! I don't know if your doctor is a MD or a therapist. If he/she isn't find a therapist familiar with PTSD (which is what you have) then find one who is. You are not having a nervous breakdown although it REALLY feels like it. Also, you need to go back to NC if possible. This will eliminate these feeling from coming back. J

Dear Sarah, I know just how you feel, and I am sure most of us here do. That thought "I won't feel any better without him" - and I soon arrived at "I am no better than he is, as crazy, disordered, so we might as well go under together" - is so dangerous. I had left my ex, feeling halfway good one day, bad the next, several months ago. I had ignored his texts and calls. One evening, feeling the same as you do now, I took his call. I knew it to be a big mistake then and was aware that going back next day was even worse. Oh, indeed was it that. The pain and despair grows worse, when you know you do something wrong for the wrong reasons. Give yourself a chance. Just for today, do not reply, do not contact him. Tonight go running or biking, long and hard to get rid of the adrenalin, until you are tired, so you can sleep a little. Switch the phone and PC off, do not panic and call a friend, if you need support. And tomorrow, again, try to do one day at a time. Hoping you will feel better soon.

Sarah I don't think you are having a break down , its anxiety which feels horrible , I know , there where days I couldn't funtion and that was after contact with the narc , I use to think I must be having a break down how did I know I wasn't I had never had one before but I didn't break down and after a week of nc again I would look back and knew it was panic atacks . I feel for you I really do the way I handled the time was lots of hot baths with a glass of wine (just one mind as more made things werse ) I woul exercise big time on my bike and I would watch sex and the city reruns on tv . In a week or so you will feel better , block him if you can . My friend who is a psycoratric nurse told me about people who have break downs don't really know they are acting strange so you question you might be means there is a very good chance you're not , panic atacks are horrendus, has any one got some good advice on how to handle them , what worked for you ? Big love and sorry about the spelling I'm on my mobile for the next week or so scoop x