I oficially got the "we can' t be together" speech..and I honestly think I need to go to a hospital...

Thats exactly y we keep saying NC....Im sorry this happened and I know about still loving him and u feel u will die w/o him..but u will not!!! I thought if I didnt c my ex for 1 wk Id die..well guess what? Its been 1 yr I havent seen him and although I wish I could..IM STILL ALIVE!!!! othing u go back to NC because he is a narc..or he would not have slept w/u..God has something better for us!! Just stay away from him...go NC totally..we r here if u need to talk! lota of love and peace going ur way!!

I am so sorry for the pain you are in right now. I know it's excuciating. First of all, it doesn't matter if he is a narc or not because no matter what, he treats you horribly. He is not a good person period. That's all you need to know right now to know you should stay away from him. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you don't want to be with him, Sarah. He is bad news and will only suck the life out of you. You need to be with the people who love you right now and you need to seek professional help. I recommend Cognitive Behavioral Therapy so you can begin to retrain your brain. He has brainwashed you something awful. Nancy - Yes, please share the therapy you spoke of in your post that you found healing. I don't ban any advice or referrals here if its intent is to help someone. What works for some does not work for others so I encourage all kinds of different treatment modalities. To each her own. We can choose as individuals what works for us and what doesn't. Don't feel bad for talking about it with your friends. You can talk to them, but don't expect them to understand. Come here instead. That's why we are here and why this site exists. Hang in there and please know, you're not alone. Big Hugs.

I feel for you sweetie. I wish I could be there in person. I have to agree with what has been said here.... You need help immediately, for PTSD and you should not be alone right now. I know you are already on meds, do you have a therapist that you can get into soon? Is your family close by? I am so worried for you. This guy is sick and twisted. He is dangerous and you HAVE to maintain no contact or things will never get better for you. I hope someone can be with you tonight. Please keep in touch with us. Thinking of you. xoxo

He IS a narcissist and VERY, VERY likely a Psychopath. Read all the posts below. You DO know - he is DANGEROUS. You need to go NC now and forever. You let him back in and in record time he has devalued you again. You have great value - he messed with you big time. You must now see the importance of NO CONTACT ever again. He abused you, horribly. What you are feeling is withdrawal, just like a meth addict. And this Narcissist psychopath will do to you what Meth does to its users. We with a trusted FRIEND tonight and read everything you can on psychopaths. It infuriates me that he did this. NEVER let the psychopath back into your world again. xxx Peace. J

Take care of yourself. There have been alot of good suggestions here! Mostly, find someone who can be with you right now and keep you company, cry alot, eat popcorn and ice cream, and journal... xoxo

...minus the sleeping with him part, I'm sort of struck speechless. I don't know what I can say to help. When my ex told me we couldn't be together anymore, he also said, "I miss having a girlfriend, but I'm not certain you're the one I want." That made me really angry. I don't know. Argh. I feel so helpless. Do you have a best friend or anyone who could come stay with you tonight and be there? Honey, you need to not be alone right now. And you have to completely have NC with your ex. I want you to get a book called Smart Women, Foolish Choices. I want you to take a few days off work, get someone who can be near you if at all possible, and just read and allow yourself to cry and allow yourself to think. I had to do that last week. It was crazy. On June 21st, the longest day of the year, it was a bad thunderstorm out. I remember looking up at the raging dark sky (it was maybe 10pm) and telling my best friend, who was holding me, "I wish him pain. I wish him loneliness." And then I said, staring at a bolt of lightning, "No. I take it back. I wish him introspection and emotion." And then the thunder hit. It was really amazing. It felt so powerful. And so will you. You just have to hang in there. All of us are here for you. I'm sorry I can't be there in person for you. Do you have anyone you can hug? Anyone who can just be there for you? I'll be thinking of you.

I have not mentioned this on the board since I have come back on because I got slammed for it first time round and left the board because of what was being said, but I am going to mention it now. When I slowly figured out that my N was in fact an N, stopped the denial, I had just been D&Dd, and I decided there had to be "someone" out there that knew how to deal with this. I knew I had three days before he would throw out a "feeler" to see where I was at. On the third day I found a web site of a lady who was a spiritual healer, had written a book about her experience with an N and by learning to heal herself she had developed a healing modality. I sent her an e-mail, just to thank her for validating my experience, explaining a little of what was going on. Within minutes she returned my e-mail and that was the first real validation after a lifetime of being up close and personal with narcs. I cried like a baby because someone finally GOT what I was talking about. Within an hour we were on the phone and she explained she had a healing modality that could shift stuff really quickly. I agreed to give it a try because I had just lost hundreds of thousands of dollars over this N. I was not worried about spending a few more dollars, finally on myself. I did express suspicion, as I had just had an experience with someone who claimed to be a spiritual healer that on reflection turned out to be a raving Narc. She told me that if I felt that she was unable to shift anything, she offered a money back guarantee as she does with all of her clients. I decided to put some faith in her because after reading her web site I simply thought that nobody could make that sh&t up. She also explained the concept of NC and I simply said DONE. She was surprised at my conviction and I explained that because she knew what I was talking about, I would do whatever she said. I have maintained NC ever since. To cut a long story short I did the healings, three to start with. I was stunned at how quickly I was pulling out of this because I had crawled out of this hell twice before on my own, but this time it had actually been killing me. I am approaching 5 months NC. I no longer have PTSD I am not in therapy I take no form of medication I have learned how to laugh again. My thyroid is functioning perfectly yet 6 months ago I had every symptom of it shutting down, from tremors, blurred vision, muscle spasms, pins and needles etc. It also triggered rheumatoid arthritis. I have none of these symptoms now. I am still struggling to stop the flow of money out the door, but it no longer worries me like it did before. I am not all the way up the mountain, but I am well on my way. I still have a healing if I think there is something that I am not shifting on my own. Recently, one of the things I shifted was not being able to tell my story. I am starting to tell it. In fact I started telling my healer my story as soon as we shifted the block. I know that there has been a huge amount of suspicion about this on the board in the past, but it is also healthy to have suspicions. There are a lot of charlatans out there. Also this may not be the way to go for many, and that is ok too. This has been my experience and it has worked for me, and others that I know. I will ask Lisa's permission before I mention my healer's name on the board. She is actually flat out because there are so many that need her help and are, like me, healing. Otherwise I would be happy for Lisa to pass on my e-mail address to anyone that would like more information. Every day when I wake up I thank god or whoever that people like her and Lisa are on the planet, doing the work to help us understand and come through this. Sarah I am so sorry that you are struggling with this, what you are feeling is the same as we have all gone through. Sending you a big big hug. XOX