I need you please! LONG

7 posts / 0 new

#1 Jan 13 - 12PM

blueworld

I need you please! LONG

ok so those who know me know that i have been spending time with friends and one particular guy right? well i went out with some friends from work last night and we all started talking about just everything then the subject came up of who likes who and so on

well so the guy friend of the guy i have been spending some time with tells everyone that he is a really sweet guy but he is a player, but a nice player he said the guy i am spending time with has many many girls he is spending time with and that its just him the way he is he doesnt want one girl

he said the guy i am hanging out with will be super sweet and good to me because he is a sweet guy but for me to be careful and not to get attached because i will get hurt

he told me alot of negative stuff about this person
all the while saying "he is my best friend"

i dont know what to make of this
now i feel all weird and uncomfortable talking to or spending time with the guy i was hanging out with
keep in mind we have done things as a group mostly

also just to throw this in there
i hadnt heard from the guy i have been spending time with all night night before last, i didnt text him either
then he called me and get this tells me he was working so late ( he works swings) came home did all his homework passed out went to bed got up for school and is now calling me..during the phone convo he not only told me what he did the other night i didnt hear from him

but what he had been doing and where he is going (work when he called me) then he said i have to work late on friday and saturday too i volunteered extra hours so i wont be able to see you and hang out till sunday

here was my feelings on this per bad men in my life friend or other
why not just call and say "hey what are you doing sunday?"

instead he gave me all the details i didnt ask for nor implied about...
is he building trust with me?
does he want me to know what he is doing because he wants me to know he isnt spending time with others?"

i mean for me it was nice to have someone just start telling me detailed info of what they have been up to what they are doing and when they want to get together

i did ask for it and in my opinion wouldnt he have just cut to the chase and been like hey what are you doing sunday wanna hang out? do something?

your thoughts? please

#2 Jan 13 - 3PM

NarcJunkie

Blueworld

I agree with the others - please distance yourself from this guy NOW... he's a "nice player"? Those are the WORST. That's exactly how I go sucked in by the narc!! We were friends (or so I thought), always hanging out in a group before he and I started spending time together. BECAUSE we were friends before getting involved I had my defenses down, I trusted him. And believe me, he was the sweetest guy, he didn't have the reputation of being a player, he had been with the same girl for many years... he seemed like a good guy if ever there was one. But none of that mattered. He was a narc on the hunt, perfectly pleasant mask, seemingly honest and generous and so very fond of his friends. WRONG! He also had a best buddy who was a player himself. After my D&D and as the year progressed I hung out with the best buddy and another friend of mine sometimes, because they were fun and distracted me from my pain. The buddy was very open about his womanizing ways and I gotta say after what narc had done to me I respected the guy for at least being HONEST and not putting on a mask. If you know someone just wants sex you're safe right? You can take it or leave it. So this guy was best buddies with the narc and he and I sometimes talked about him. He knew the narc's true face and agreed on quite a few things with me. Like you I was puzzled why he would still be friends with narc if he knew he was a dick. Well, because he wasn't personally involved. After all the narc is great fun to be with (if you haven't been discarded by him), and together they could go hunting girls and have a great time. Fundamentally both of them thought it was ok to sleep with women and then drop them, only they had a different approach. The narc's buddy saw no need to be dishonest and pretend to be something he wasn't.. but hunting buddies don't really judge each other's methods, it's more the score that counts. And sadly a lot of guys agree that women just tend to get too clingy make a big fuss over nothing. I literally had comments like: "well, what's the big deal, you knew that could happen if you get involved with a colleague, right?" So this guy who is friends with the guy you're seeing: listen to what he is telling you. He knows a side of the guy you don't know. Also: trust yourself. The mere fact that you're CONFUSED and trying to make sense of this guy calling you and telling you all those details is a red flag. If he's a good guy and a friend, you shouldn't be feeling confused! Trust your gut, stay safe. Hugs :) NJ and for laughs, watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA&sns=fb

#3 Jan 13 - 1PM

dabussard

Blue

I would stay away from him! Who would know better than his friends... My N's friends tried to tell me too... I ignored the red flags for several months... I was so in love or so I thought... Yuck!!! I have since thanked his friends for warning me when they did, I was fixing to leave my husband and everything I had worked my lifetime for... If you listen they will tell you... Best Wishes!

#4 Jan 13 - 1PM

janemarie

Listen to people...I wish I

Listen to people...I wish I had...it was the writing on the wall and I ignored it... Too much detail..means to me that he is covering something up... Remember...if youre that good of friends...he knows all youve been thru..and now he can use that info. to his advantage... My "friend" blew me off this coming weekend because I bluntly told him there was no way that he will get in my pants...so instead of taking me on an overnight trip to AC..he asked someone else...then I get a text from him asking if I was mad..Guess what i did...ignored..then I got another which said"are you honestly not talking to me?' Ignored again...I have no use for men like that...I lived and learned.... Go with your gut.dont just hang with him as your band aid..cause sounds to me..he will fall off and expose your wound again....sorry:(

#5 Jan 13 - 3PM (Reply to #4)

NarcJunkie

high five!

for going NC with that guy, janemarie! Nice job! So true, why even bother with an explanation if a guy behaves like that? This is how I am starting to handle things, too, now... finally! ;)

#6 Jan 13 - 1PM (Reply to #2)

blueworld

he doesnt know everything

i told him minimal you really think he is playing me as another one of the girls? even calling me when i hadnt said anything and just giving me all this info? the friend that told me the above took a girl home on newyears slept with her and has ignored her attempts of texting and calling him since and told us last night that thats how its done is this "friend" really trying to help me/ or getting jealous i am spending time with his best friend my guy friend is so nice to me seriously and has been honest and forthcoming ugh so confused and im sure i will here from him soon

#7 Jan 13 - 1PM (Reply to #3)

janemarie

If he is truely a player...he

If he is truely a player...he knows what he is doing...and they all play differently....they come in all types...jump in bed types or take their time types.... It's very confusing...thats why maybe its better to not date for a while until you can see things clearer.... or stay on guard...watch for the red flags...and really end it at the first sign that something isnt right...(takes strength...do you have the strength to be able to do that yet??) If your not...then youre not ready...If you are...then go for it and see what happens.... As strong as i feel...I dont trust anyone...and when I start having to ask questions about him...like your asking...I stop it!!!! but thats me.... good luck xoxo

Path Forward Buy Now Reviews
All About Her Buy Now Reviews
All About Him Buy Now Reviews