I need some wise council please

A synopsis of my story. Married my XH at 20, even tho I knew he had issue with alcohol, rage & porn. The marriage lasted 30 years, produced 2 great kids. I stayed all that time because of our businesses. I made him leave after a violent act with our 15 yo daughter. The divorce took 4 years, but I am free from that chapter in my life. And oh yes, as I predicted, the main business closed.

I did not date for those 4 years. I felt my daughter had been through enough and did not need to deal with mommys boyfriends. Began dating using an on line service. My first date/lover...narc. Sex was great, but you know the rest. Dumped him after a few months. Second one... womanizer & alcoholic. Lasted 2 months. Third one...much younger than me.....immature...kicked him to the curb after 1 month.

Then...at a dance I was mesmerized by this greek god. Tall, tan, chiseled. umu.um..um. He seemed perfect. We lived in my home in the summer, he bought a winter home we lived in the winter. Said he would never cheat on me & would always love me. I thought I had found "The One". I saw red flags. But he was never physically abusive or demeaning to me. I overlooked his quirks. I loved him and that is how I love.

Then when I could not come to the winter place right away, He became distant and dismissive. I confronted him & he said he was dating online. Just like that. Didn't skip a beat. I became NC at the end of that call even before I found this wonderful healing place. i would not allow anyone to do that to me & continue a relationship with them.

I shared a list with my therapist. My top 10 traits for a man. I created this list long before I left my XH. She says I seem to place a great value on financial success & power. Yes these things excite me. Says it's not uncommon for these men to want Stepford Wives. So I am revising the list.

I know that I am not ready for a new relationship. But I WANT a new relationship. I have a full life, I am not bored, I don't need money, but I am so lonely. My XNBF was always by my side. I miss having someone to cook for, snuggle with, be intimate with. I do not trust myself right now. Obviously I have poor judgement in men. I have issues with boundaries. I re posted my online profile wanting to just date. I am thinking this is a good way to analyze men in preparation for my next relationship.

So am I fooling myself? I am 7 weeks out. I will not take the XNBF back but I do still miss him or what I thought was him. And i wonder...are there ANY good men out there? All of my friends are in miserable marriages except 1 couple. My single Gf's significant others are idiots(in my opinion) as well. I am very sad. Is it hopeless?