I know he is a self centred narc so why is it when he is here I still want to kiss and touch him!!!!
I know he is a self centred narc so why is it when he is here I still want to kiss and touch him!!!!
I dont know what to do, I know this is the usual, same old same old, but what can you do to stop yourself being so deeply attracted too and needy of the narc.
Its like your hormones are beggin you to jump on him.. To get some more of the doped up oxytocin rush that you get with these guys...
In theory you know he has treated you very poorly. You have been doubled over in pain and cried your self hoarse and weak.
You could tell your friends the long list of stories, a long list of obstuctive behaviours and selfish personality traits.
But when he is standing in front of you smiling and being polite, its like you can just let all the heart ache and fear disopate until you have given yourself a list of reasons why he isnt that bad after all. You start to think it might be you or that you could do somethign to make it better...
I asked him to stay for dinner even tho I am sure it would be better not too.
He dropped our son off and he has grown a beard and he looks pretty hot. He is 8 years younger than me and tho that sometimes can be a source of frustration because of he can be so god damn immature at times. Doing stuff that shows me he has no real intent of growing up. His ropy career path and intention not to work in legitiamet work at all costs etc.. moving miles away wiht out a car and sellign his phone cos he was skint etc etc.. But My god, he is sexy.. AND I fancy him rotten.
I have had a chilled weekend to myself. I have been running and training martial arts today and getting back to me. I guess I wasn't feelign the deep usual anger towards him as is the general. But My god I had to really hold myself back form just diving on him and it was really very difficuilt... I did it.. but I could have let him back in, broken the boundaries I have tried hard to get in place and all in the space of about three seconds..
I dont know that it ever goes away. I guess you have to just get strong and even though on the surface they seem possibly to be impersonating a loveable human who can meet your needs on some levels. The levels where it really counts.. well you know he will never be able to come through on those levels. True Intimacy, reliability, empathy, depth of focus to your needs as a fellow human... all the rest of it, the ... 'arguing down into the ground, perplexing you and bamboozeling you into a permanent state of confusion... the jeckyl and hyde flip in and out thing... its just mental stuff...
SO.. I JUST NEED TO SAY..
IT WAS REALLY REALLY HARD!!!!!
Does anyone else get absolutly messed up trying to figure this stuff out?
I feel really sad now after feeling really good and upbeat...
When does the hurt go away completely???
x
Fierflie and Jen:about those endorphines
Really Sexy!
I want to add..
Thanks Michelle115... I am
you want sex with him cause you are afraid.
yea, when we had sex it was
jen....
fierflie
I've heard that nine months
Ditto Briseis
On my way to work yesterday
it really worries me how mallaiable I Am for him...
I hear you
Thanks B. I see very clearly
oh hell yeah. mine is 14
Don't give up your power.