I just looked on facebook, no contact, but the range of feelings is scary!!!!

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#1 Jul 22 - 1PM
gratefuljen
gratefuljen's picture

I just looked on facebook, no contact, but the range of feelings is scary!!!!

I hate him. I want him to hurt, like I have hurt for the last 6 months.

Why do I even Look at his face book page. It just sets me back.

The man abused me in every way possible. I HATE HIM. I don't want to hate him, I want to feel indifferent.

Let go, let go. It's a process and it is getting easier,,,,,but man, seeing his picture on there. Him changing his status from married to separated, what the fuccccccccc........

I am glad he is gone, glad that I have a new start, that I am not stuck in the constant insanity.

But it still hurts...............

Help girls......\
When does this shit end?

Jen

Jul 22 - 1PM
birdie (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

unfriend him, block him, get yourself a zapper

Jen, we all do this. The sooner you unfriend and block him, the better off you are. Easy to say, harder to do. I myself looked at his page incessantly. I was never his facebook friend (he did good work to make sure all his women never knew of each other), but his page was public, so I looked at it All Day Long. Studied it. I wanted a zapper to train myself to stop. Then he blocked me from viewing his page. So I created a different profile JUST to SEE his page. He thought I was friends with one of his friends, and seeing his page that way. He realized I still knew stuff I shouldn't have known. So he changed his security settings so only friends (not public, not friends of friends)could see his page. Then I just looked at the pages of his friends that were public, hunting for clues. I am admitting my insane behavior. I admit I still check his page. But it's getting a lot better, and I'm ready to let go.
Jul 22 - 1PM
adoette
adoette's picture

gratefuljen

First of all, the range of emotions is craaaaa-zeeeee, right? I'm not exactly sure why we go looking, but most of us have done that. Some good can come out of it, I suppose, but mostly no good comes from it. Time to UNFRIEND and BLOCK the assturd, gratefuljen. Do you have a reason that you still have access to his FB page? (I'm guessing you have a reason?) It was HARD to unfriend the narcopath (so final), but moments after I did, I felt a HUGE weight lift. I have been so glad that that gate is slammed shut. As far as the pain and shit ending....that's part of the torment. There's no way to know when it will end or how it will all play out. But I do know this: If you are moving in the right direction, the pain and hurt and anger will soften and fade. I believe that. Know that you are making progress even when you feel thrown for a loop. Whatever you are doing for your recovery, stay on the path. It may be dark now, but light will be yours. Feeling your pain and hoping it passes. Until then... (((hugs and care))) Adoette
Jul 22 - 1PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Jen

Time is on your side! If it makes you feel better, I hate him too! Right now it's best not to look! I'm guilty of looking too, but when I look it helps validate what a complete loser the Dog Whisperer is! When I look Its like watching a master narc at work! He's has so many people come and go it's one big joke! But that's me ! This is about you, sooooo. Right now don't look! Hunter
Jul 22 - 1PM
mystwoman
mystwoman's picture

This is exactly why I blocked

This is exactly why I blocked and ufriended xnh on my FB. I had a friend tell me, "You don't need to see this crap. It only hurts YOU." When xnh posted pictures of himself all cuddled up on a blanket with OW, I realized that she was absolutely right. I don't need to see this crap. It only hurts me. Therefore, I'll give you the same advice as my friend gave me. Unfriend the narc and block him. You really don't need to see this crap. It's only hurting YOU. Seeing whatever he's doing only causes you pain, and keeps you focused on the past. Focus on yourself and your recovery. You're so worth the effort. Huge hugs. :)

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

Jul 22 - 1PM
Reddley
Reddley's picture

I wish I could answer that...

I HAD to force myself to remove him from my friends list and block him so I couldn't go look anymore. I was obsessing and going back multiple times a day. It was so unhealthy. :( You should consider doing the same.