i hope it's almost over.....they moved him to hospice today.....

thanks to everyone for all their kind words..they mean more to me than you will ever know....i wish i could bring you all here on a little field trip.....so you could watch a dying psychopath in action......i don't think many people get the chance... nothing shocks me anymore...yesterday morning they told me two nursing homes they had wanted to shove him off on smelled the rats and refused him....good for them...then again they tried the GUILTING....tried to shove him off on ME with a hospice nurse coming to check in every few days!!..can you believe that???.....i said...'nope..no way'.....THEN this kind caring social worker snipped....'well then we're just going to have to send him anywhere we can find that will take him...no matter who and no matter where'..... so i blew...and said.....'i've seen all of you sneaking and skulking and whispering for the last few days...what's YOUR problem?..is it you think i'm going to SUE YOU?...because if that's what's on YOUR minds...let me ease them for you.....YES....I'M GOING TO SUE EVERY LAST FUCKING ONE OF YOU...here..i'm saying it...LITIGATION..i'm calling my lawyer RIGHT NOW'...........she scurried out of the room......came back three minutes later to announce that MIRACULOUSLY...the one and only hospice in kansas city....who had said they had a LOOOOOOONG waiting list and only 31 full beds had suddenly found a 'VCANCY'......the LIES never end....all on tape...one minute they were attempting to threaten him and me and scare him with threats of shelving him 'anywhere'...i say the magic word...and the next minute they have a vacancy at the country club like hospice....i wonder how many times a week they pull this bullshit???!!!.. i'm not doing this for the benefit of the psycho......it's for ALL OF US...this could have been me laying there...or any of you...or someone one of us REALLY DOES LOVE...and it's DISGUSTING beyond description..... as for the psycho.i have been idealized and devalued at such a fast rate the last few days that it is amazing to watch!!..i wish i could get it on video.... yesterday when i had my snit and they found him that amazing vacancy at Death Spa, he told the chaplain that i was his 'savior'....but once they got him to the hospice, and he was watching videos on his wide screen tv..being spoon fed a peach slushy...and was being waited on hand and foot....he just ignored me...and said with a wave of his hand...'thanks.i'm all settled in...you can go now'.....like i'm his chambermaid......... he's been pulling his famous falling asleep act..which is working great now.....anytime he doesn't want to deal with something...he feigns being sound asleep.....leaving it to ME...the bastard.... yesterday afternnoon and last night he was shitting out this icky stuff that looked like burned motor oil....he crapped his bed repeatedly just while i was checking him into the hospice....finally they told him they had some kind of thing they could stick up his butt to catch it...and OMG...'absolutely NOT...that sounds very uncomfortable...i really prefer to just crap on myself'.....OMG....i'm gonna call them and tell them to shove it up his ass while he's asleep... and you're right...now when he says the pet names for me he used YEARS ago...when he was reeling me in....back when i thought he was human...and that he loved me......it HURTS...to this day it HURTS....but underneath that hurt is YEARS OF RAGE AND BURNING ANGER...so it's only a flesh wound.. and all that sad normalcy in that place!!..people who are LOVED...good kind decent people...dying...surround by friends and loved ones....it's a wonderful peaceful place....being STUNK UP by the psychopath........ the only thing different here....is that the hospital really never get me or fully understand the situation...so it's been hard for them to play me...manipulate me......and God know's they've busted ass trying....it's only because of me deciding to tape my encounters with DV organizations and social service agencies when trying to get help for myself that i got the idea to start taping their bullshit too..... Barbara has been kind enough to research missouri law about taping conversations.....and i was completely within my rights to do so...so the hospital and doctors don't have a leg to stand on when i make it all PUBLIC.... i have the psycho's weird ass NARC doctor SCREAMING at me..(only wish i had the video of her up in my face wagging her finger at me)...telling me how she sees Christ in Mike...and that he got the care he did out of the goodness and compassion in her heart....but she leaves out the part about how that all came to a grinding halt when the found out he had no INSURANCE...... and her LYING about his dialysis catheter bleeding profusely when they removed it...trying to TRICK him...not knowing that i had been standing there watching it being removed...and engaging the nurses in TAPPED BANTER about how it DIDN'T BLEED A DROP....... they knew i was onto them....but by the time they knew i was onto them.....they didn't know what to do about it...but LIE..and as i caught them in one lie...they'd have to switch to another lie....then another.....getting more obnoxious and abusive as they were backed into a corner full of their lies.....all soooooooo familiar.... hopefully that vampire psychopath will turn to dust soon....he didn't do anything good for me while he was alive...i'm hoping his ridiculous death and the audio tapes with do something to help others and me........much against his will.....

I have been thinking about you during this whole ordeal you are going through. You are one tough, smart and strong gal! I know there is something unsaid here though. Even though in most ways it will be a HUGE relief when this is all over...you may still grieve for the man you thought he was long ago and have a few bittersweet moments too. I know he did soooo much damage to your life, spirit and heart (let alone your financial well being) and he was/still is a heinous man...he lived and is now dying as a completely disgusting, despicable, cruel, abusive and sick man. It is not hard to believe that karma is catching up to him and making him suffer in some ways because he caused so much sadistic hurt/utterly cruelty to you and your beloved pet, Ben, and everyone else...if anyone deserves to suffer as he leaves this planet...well! It is HIM! But YOU are a caring and good person. Even though he is such a sick horrible inhumane and non-human alien creature...there was a time you thought him otherwise...and I want you to know that if you also have some sadness when all of this is over and everything calms down around you...then it is understandable...and normal...there was nothing wrong with having hoped a long time ago...that he was the 'Prince Charming' he first pretended to be...and being sad for the complete loss of THAT man that he truly wasn't after all... It's not your fault. You never did anything wrong to have had this in your life. Your strong, loving, charitable character still shines through in the things you have done for him on his behalf as he is dying. When everyone has abadoned him, you haven't...because you are a good person. He never deserved to have such a Sweetheart as YOU in his life. Hope you know many of us gals here care and are here for you! xo

they are probably jumping for joy that they got rid of him... and you... O.K. people, narcnarc said they stopped his dialysis and moved him to a hospice... he is in excruciating pain... he's been passing stuff that looks like motor oil... she knows they sent him off to die because he has no insurance... send her some good energy - she's exhausted... ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller