I have my house
I have my house
Well... today was a great day I guess. But I feel horrible.
He did show up and the refinancing happened... here's how this went..
He said the other day that he'd be here at 2:00 - well 2:30 rolled around and he wasn't here. I knew he was coming by the house to get the last thing in the garage. At 2:40 I heard him punching the buttons on the keyless entry and he walked in very directly, walked right into the room where I was working (for my actual job) on the computer, took his old outdated "speakerphone" and walked back out to the garage. He didn't look at me, acknowledge me, I could have been a ghost. I have never seen anybody be that cold. I think being called an F'ing B would have been easier to take. It hit me totally in the dead center of my gut.
I tentatively walked out to the garage and asked quietly if he wanted help with the van seats (he has trouble with his back sometimes) and he didn't turn around, didn't shake his head... again nothing. So I walked back into the house and shut the door. This felt really horrible. and then I heard the van leave.
A half hour later I drove out to the other side of town to where the closing was. I had thought it was at a building that was across the street from the actual location and sure enough he was sitting in the parkling lot. I know he saw me and when I realized we were supposed to be across the street, I thought "no way am I walking over to the van." So I called his cell. Two rings and it went to voicemail which means he hit ignore... and I KNOW he could see me down the aisle in my car. So I just said, "John, I know you can see me but the actual location is across the street and I'm going over there." So I did. Three minutes later here he comes.
I walked in the buidling and they took me to a small conference room, then he was brought in a few minutes later. Again, he didn't speak, didn't acknowledge... he stood and stared out the window with his back to me. Then he walked out and I heard him say to somebody, "let me know when they're ready." I sat there thinking this is surely one of the worst nightmares of my life.
Finally the lady came in with the paperwork and he came in and sat at the head of the table with his sunglasses on the whole time. (see www.ashtonwolf.com for a look at his actual appearance) She started going through things and I teared up and quickly apologized... she said, "That's completely okay." and I think she could definitely feel the tension. I went through signing papers, willing my eyes to stop dripping and my heart to stop pounding. He just sat there staring with his arms crossed and his sunglasses on.
When she got to the standard, "here's the paper you need to send us Tuesday morning because you have three business days in case you decide to withdrawl the loan." He interrupted and said, "Wait a minute." She looked over. He said, "I notice that's the first time you've actually looked at me through this whole meeting." She just kept looking at him. (He wasn't yelling, but he's got a very aggressive abrasive tone - don't know how to describe it). He said, "What happens to me if she changes her mind." She looked a little hesitant as to how to respond (of course she did!) So I jumped in with a very gentle tone and said, "John you are correct that if I decided to change my mind then you would still be on the title, but I'm not going to do that you don't have to worry." He said, "I wasn't talking to you - I'm asking her." And "her" said "Well sir... she is correct with what she said." He then said, "I want a copy of that paper." And she said "I'm not allowed to give you a copy because it's not your loan." So I jumped in with a gentle (keeping it really lowkey was my goal) John I'll send you a copy of that paper after I send it to them on Tuesday releasing the loan so that you're comfortable it's been handled. He dismissed me with his hand.
When she asked for the Quitclaim he gave it to her and then said, "Is that it? Are all papers signed?" And she nodded and he left. Just like that.
He had been so strange and abrasive that she looked at me and I looked at her and I said, "I'm so sorry." And she went from strict professional to human woman right before my eyes. She said, "That's okay." I said, "There's a reason why this is happening, he's very controlling." She smiled nodded and said, "Yep... I got that pretty quickly." She was very warm, wished me well, congratulated me and gave me my packet.
So my house is safe, my son doesn't have to worry and I don't have to wonder everyday what mindgame he'll pull. So why do I feel awful that he treated me so utterly coldly. He's devalued me a million times, but never quite like this.... it cut really deep. Saturday he's leaving me a message about just wanting to say hi and can't believe that this is ending and it's so hard and he wants me to be okay and thinks about me and still cares and loves me.. and then it's like I literally wasn't even there.
Do you think I've heard the last of him? I know that's exactly what I should want... and I know that's best... but I think the pure frozen coldness what so disturbing that I can't believe it.
Probably what I need right now is Barbara to read this entire whiny message and kick my A___ for even feeling this way. On the one hand I'm relieved and so many people have called to check on me and make sure that it all went through... but on the other I'm completely numb from today.
Happy Independence Weekend Finallydone!
Congratulations!
Gratz!
no ass kicking
THanks Barbara!!!
grats finallydone
He's pouting
Finallydone
Big hugs...you made it
finallydone!