I have done everything to establish NC with my N but today he showed up in my driveway

Unfortunately calling him up won't do you any good. It will only give him yet another chance to upset you. It's supply. Narcs don't care whether attention is positive or negative. Any response just let's them think they still have a chance to manipulate you back under their control. It only encourages them to continue their behaviors. NO reaction will give the narc a much louder message than any words you can say. Narcs HATE to be ignored. They're not in control and it drives them crazy. YOU are charge of yourself and the narc has absolutely no vote in the matter. :) I DID tell xnh that I wanted no more contact with him directly to his face, and I told him I will NEVER discuss anything with him ever again. He took it as a challenge and heightened his hoover attempts/harassing behavior trying to break my NC. Your response of walking in the door and slamming it in his face was a good one. He got no NS from you. My advice is the next time he follows you into your driveway (or anywhere), give him the same exact response. Slam the door on him without a word. Then after you're safely inside, call the cops on him and have him removed by the police. You can call the police on him even without a restraining order. Keep a log of his behavior for future use, if it's needed. As for holding his mail, I had this same problem with xnh. He kept his mail coming to my house so that he'd have an excuse to show up and harass me. Just write "Does Not Live Here" onto the envelopes and throw them back into the mailbox for the mail person to take away. You can also inform the post office that you do not want any mail delivered that is not addressed to YOUR name. Your xn is supposedly a big boy (I use this term VERY loosely when applied to a narc. lol.) If he wants his mail, he can get it forwarded to his new address just like other adults. His mail is not your problem any longer, and you are absolutely correct, he does not need any excuses for showing up at your house. Big hugs.

Where do u live? In illinois if you can't pay for an attorney then he has to! Your attorney will go after him! If you are married you are entitled to half! Half means half the debit too! So of you to funds for a restraining Oder use a credit card! Hunter

have some bollards put up ;-) Dx

When they are intent on seeing you there is nothing they won't do the EX was waiting in the parking lot for me He wanted to talk no matter if I did or not All you can do some days is try to get through it to another day get on the other side of it eventually we will manage to wirm our self away from their interest and thew will find new supply

good job!

Slamming the door said the same thing as hanging up a phone. You were done talking. A very good place to start nc again. Chris