I HAVE BEEN LOOKINH AT HIS FB, NEED TO STOP,

14 posts / 0 new

#1 Mar 14 - 6PM

booboo35

I HAVE BEEN LOOKINH AT HIS FB, NEED TO STOP,

Hi everyone the last couple of days i have been looking on his fb wall, I don't know why as it just upsets me so much. As from tonight i am going to put a stop to it as it is hindering my recovery, But one of the reasons i have been looking on his FB is he has been sending messages to my family members and still trying to add my friends, But what got me really angry he tried to add my son, I had to send him a message to tell him to back off and to basically fuck-off and leave my son alone. I broke NC about a month ago when i let him in because i was drunk and lonely and missed him, But that as been the only mistake i have made so far, I did not know i could be so strong till i found this site,,

One of the post on his wall on his FB made me think that he is definitely a narcissist,, Please somebody show me love am pissed off, he wrote, This is a ploy to get people to feel sorry for him and give him some attention, He has had all his OW posting on his wall, Oh J we love you, It really is all about him. I am still waiting for my counselling and i cant wait for it to start i really need it to start healing properly, I am sometimes Going through that Co Di, I wish it would stop my head feels like a cement mixer sometimes,, xxx

#2 Mar 15 - 3AM

Happy1

If you are finding it

If you are finding it difficult then block him on Facebook. Do whatever you can to help yourself feel better. Its all about you now and taking care of yourself. Happy

#3 Mar 15 - 8AM (Reply to #13)

mystwoman

I agree with Happy. Block

I agree with Happy. Block him. Do yourself a favor. I blocked xnh when I got on FB to talk to my nephew one morning, and instead I found pictures of xnh and OW shoved into my face on my news feed. I went "block, block, block" on xnh and his entire family. FB was upsetting me constantly, until then, with xnh's constant garbage. One of my friends kept telling me, "You don't need to see this crap. It's only hurting YOU." In the 8 months since I initially blocked xnh, I have unblocked xnh twice (curiosity killed the cat). Both times I immediately regretted it, and couldn't wait for the 48 hours to be up so that I could block him again. My friend is absolutely right, so as a friend I'll tell you the same thing she told me: "You don't need to see this crap. It's only hurting YOU." Hugs.

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

#4 Mar 14 - 7PM

Jettebobette

took him off Skype

Hi, I have been NC for 2 1/2 days, not really that long. I took him off as my contact on Skype. Every day, well 500 times a day I would look to see if he was online... so dumb of me. We lived together for 12 + years, he was such an asshole. He had so many girlfriends on the side, was so abusive, called me the worts kind of names, was not nice at all, only a few days at a time. He would be raging, screaming at me, then come back telling me I love you, you are the world to me, I will always love you, please don't leave me... everytime I took him back, he would go back to the exact same abusive way, No sex, no kissing, only him looking at porn, having sex with other girls. Lats he asked me to marry him, my heart just jumped and smiled, but I knew he was not beeing honest, and I was right. The same ring he was going to give me, he had just tryed to give to some other girl, but she said No, and so did I. Now he is all desperate, trying to crawl back in, but I will stay strong this time.

#5 Mar 15 - 8AM (Reply to #11)

IncognitoBurrito

(just wanted to say...)

(Oh man! I love your doggie! So adorable!) Slobbercutecheeks!

#6 Mar 15 - 11AM

ImStrong

Girl ive been doing the same

Girl ive been doing the same thing..cant stop right now..because honestly I dont want too..fb has tought me so much about the narc..even while I was with him and he tried to avoid me from being on his fb..it has tought me a enourmous amount about him and the ow..like I always say the narc is like a lab rat and fb is the lab..i learned so much withought even speaking to him..it really helped me

"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess

#7 Mar 14 - 6PM

IncognitoBurrito

xo

Perfect timing.

#8 Mar 14 - 6PM (Reply to #2)

booboo35

In what way IncognitoBurrito?

In what way IncognitoBurrito? Have you been looking at your ex N FB too?? xx

STAY STRONG!! XX

#9 Mar 14 - 7PM (Reply to #3)

IncognitoBurrito

Boo :o)

No, ma'am! He's on BLOCK! I don't know what he's up to, and I don't want to know. It's none of my concern. He's not in my life. He's not busy snooping on ME! Ha! That's all I do know, for sure. But I *just* read and responded to a post, where someone said she checked her narc's FB. I don't know how anyone can check up on their narcs, and remain sane. It'd set me back. I'd be OBSESSED and consumed with thoughts of him, and his life, if I were to snoop. In fact, before I blocked him... I was a nut, in a hut, in a big, old rut! It made me insane, with anger, with jealousy- you name it. I don't want to invite those things into my life anymore. What I'm up to is none of his beeswax, and whatever scheme he's cooking up amongst his clueless friends, I don't want any part of. I stopped checking. Now I'm trying to stop caring, as well. It's like touching a hot stove!

#10 Mar 15 - 2AM (Reply to #8)

ifinallygotit

I blocked him on FB

he was always weird with his FB when we were together - he did not want me to be on it, it was like he had a secret on line life. i rationalized that it was harmless and that he needed the ego boost of having many female "fans" on FB because I knew it was hard for him to have lost all his fame and just be another middle aged guy. since he did not appear to be cheating on me, I thought it was ok that he amassed about 300 girls on FB and was not even jealous or suspicious...man was I easy supply. I noticed that he tried to be more important than he really is on FB and project a life of living large when really he had lost almost all his wealth by the time I met him (he did not transition well from youthful fame to a normal working person and ego was too big to try). So yes I snooped on him on FB,esp after he left and was blown away by the self promoting he did of a phony image after he moved away for a job (that an old friend gave him). He put pictures of beaches up when he cannot afford vacations and fancy cars he does not own. He put a picture up of himself with a new trashy looking woman. I realized he has no real self at all and that he is trying to impress the world that he ain't broke anymore and can still get flashy bar ladies. Ugh. i do not think he snoops on me, because he is not interested (right?) but I blocked him so that I would not snoop on him anymore and be traumatized by who he has become..I cannot believe he thinks people will be impressed by his choices. his family members left nasty comments about his pics of this woman. I was shocked by his taste and how quickly he replaced me, not healthy to know more, i saw enough,,,gross! I must confess that seeing it did help me snap to reality - that we really broke up and this is really what he likes to do now - show boat...

#11 Mar 14 - 7PM (Reply to #4)

ImStrong

That was me..and knowing how

That was me..and knowing how much a narc is a stalker he probably is snooping on me too...i remain sane because I was always sane..hes the crazy one..i found my self again and im still inlove with research and pshycology like I have always been..hence the lab rat term I used..i have completely seperated my emotions from the narc and carried out myself from the depression..it works for me because I keep my friends close and my enimies even closer

#12 Mar 14 - 10PM (Reply to #5)

IncognitoBurrito

I'mStrong

Have you considered blocking him, and/or making your own profile visible only to friends? Do you hope he's snooping on you? If he's crazy, then why would you want to expose your profile/life to him? Why not protect yourself? I'm in love with research and psychology as well! I like to ask/answer probing questions. Are you sure you've fully separated your emotions from the narc? Can't you study narcissism without his aid? NC= no contact, no snooping is part of that. It's part of letting go. Nothing to do with research. You can do the research all by yourself, without his help. Without re-opening the wound. Is that possible?

#13 Mar 14 - 11PM (Reply to #6)

ImStrong

The point im trying to get to

The point im trying to get to is that im not re opening the wound..i am not hurt God heals eveything.and I asked for that healings..everytime where on this board and forum we reopen those wounds sometimes uncounciously or counciously..we do it this very minute..as log as we speak about the narc we are not only healing but reopening.. I really hate when people say things that I never intended or wanted..you said that its like I want him to snoop..where did that come from..did I say that...no I said if hes a narc hes maybe stalking me..not that I want him to do anythng..that is like creating your own conversation in your head and stamping It on me..when I never said that..... What works for you may not work for me..research wise and maybe this whole healing process I like to look the devil in the eye... I went through the squirmy vounerable dark area..now im in the sun.. When you face something head on you can deal with it differently then those who avoid it.. Im strong..thats why I created the name because I knew somewhere deep down while I was with him and after him I was strong..always strong.. Theres no emerginces I dont need to research from another way or person..it may work for you not me.. If I have the problem infront of my face...i study it without interfairing with it and without being bias..the best way is when I can see him in action with others.. The other way your talking about studying them is already researched already done and finished..theres nothing to research.. If you read many researched blogs about narcissisim..some if not many of them were researched by these doctors by there own relationships...fully aware that there men are narcissist..what im doing is no different... I heal not by the books per se..i heal away from the narc physically which is to me real nc..and I research fb occassionslly..on my own time..no I dont think about him all day..i live my life Im different and it works for me

#14 Mar 15 - 8AM (Reply to #7)

IncognitoBurrito

Strong

Okay, let me collect my thoughts, and think about how to better word what I mean to say. I'll private message you in a bit.

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