i feel like im never going to get past this

My therapist told me that my lack of acceptance of the real situation is what is keeping me stuck. You poor thing, I dont say that because of pity, but empathy, and it is sad that that inflicted soooo much emotional suffering on us, god how we emotionally suffered at their hands. Your therapist is right, mine said the same thing, he said to me Cynthia you just dont want to accept the facts even if you know them, there are some things in life we must accept and for your future happiness you better accept this one. Did you read the book wwlp? I am sure you did, you sound like you will do anything to help yourself, just as I will. I thought it was interesting the personality of the women who love these types of men are extraverted women that dont want to lose, women that are strong willed and determined, and competitive, or thrill seeking. I dont consider myself thrill seeking I am not a woman out for cheap sex,(neither were ANY of us) or thrills of any type but I am a woman who wants to be put FIRST, I wont play second to anyone I am a woman who likes it MY WAY, and this is bad when it comes to these types of individuals. I am a determined woman, who doesnt like to fold in the cards and say, OK I FOLD, I WAS HAD, but in a way this is what we have to do with these individuals and it just kills me that I have to do that, Iam a proud woman and he killed everything inside me something NOBODY has ever done to me. HE DESTROYED THE PRIDE I HAD IN MYSELF and maybe this is where alot of your pain is coming from too, just a thought. Jessika they will never be normal, but wait a minute, WE WILL NEVER BE ABNORMAL LIKE THEM EITHER and THANK GOD its like good vs evil, and we must hang on to the truth and goodness with all the strength we have to overcome this no matter how much it hurts, they are sick we are healthy, they are sick we are healthy, I say that chant all the time. Isnt crazy to think because we are NORMAL we had to suffer? That people who go through life being caring, loving, and good - this is our reward? When you are up against a psychopath/Narc that is how you will get rewarded and treated so we are doing what we have to do REMOVING ourselves from such deformity that is in the world, its like do I want to hang out with a bunch of killers, and rapists and thugs, or do I want to hang out with people who bring joy and happiness to my life. It was hard for me to accept that this person who was kind, loving, gentle, was nothing but a monster and he didnt just single me out, he does it to everyone, probably hundreds!!! Despite the fact they dont care about our pain, I will always believe until the day my Psychopath dies HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID TO ME, HE MAY NOT CARE, BUT HE WILL ALWAYS ALWAYS KNOW WHAT HE DID TO ME and he will tuck it away in his brain and block it like they all do so he can sleep at night, they have memories you know, they can remember and maybe in some small way it will serve as a reminder how sick he is, many of them know they are not right, they just dont care. THEY know what they did to us was wrong, dont kid yourself, they do but they shrug their shoulders and move on. They move on because their deformity resides over what they do to others, its their fix, their drug to live the way they do and that has more power over them then to worry about the trails of destroyed people he leaves behind. They dont care because that is part of the disorder period. Do you want to go together on the retreat? When are you going, I can fly for free. Let me know.

Hi Jessica! I don't know the meaning of many online abbreviations and was wondering what you meant by IDK? Thanks for your reply.