"I don"t want to look back. That"s where I've been. I want to see where I"m going, I hope to profit by all the past experience and never repeat a mistake." Susan Hayward upon her 2nd marriage Feb. 9th, 1957 to Eaton Chalkley.
Sunday morning and I'm catching up on postings ater I went to bed last night. Yes, Susan's words remind me of how I want to feel.
I want to move forward and not look back. Also just checked a couple dating websites I'm on. No responses there. It is as if I had tatooed on my forehead "No Victim here! Look elsewhere!".
My mind stuill keeps trying to go back to think about the ex-narc. I don't want to go there! I want to look ahead and get a fresh start. I'm thinking today would be a good day to work on organizingt my cabinets. Probably I should check for any job openings that interest me.
I still feel the temptation to go back and rake my ex-narc over the coals for his deception and deceit. I'm thinking I need to see what I can do about upgradingt my wardrobe, losing weight, and just getting a whole new outlookl on life.
BTW, I loved the recent blog "YOU are NOT to BLAME". Excellent! I think too often, the victim is blamed indicating they intentionally sought out the abuse when they desperately wanted to establish a normal, healthy relationship with someone - If you don't know what to look for in the way of red flags, a narc can do a great job imitating a healthy person.
I do not think that wanting to love and be loved by someone is a pathological condition! We made what seemed at the time good choices of a potential mate...later on, their true colors came out and we got hurt.
As as my brain brings up my ex-narcs image, I'm telling it to stop thinking about the bastard (yes, it does help!). But a part of me wants to send an email to him promising that he will pay for his deceit and duplicity! Then that urge dies down as I remind myself I've already raked him over the coals for it, and there's nothing new to be gained.
I'm tired of hurting, licking my wounds, feeling sorry for myself. Enough is enough, and I've had more than enough. Just about all I can stand really.
So, here it is Sunday morning - I"m ready for a new life! World - Here I come! Get ready for SoaperGirl!