I didn't go to his funeral...but I did

I did go to the funeral home where his body was, I was there alone in a room , just him and I, it was creepy because he was dead, but It was real , right at that moment I was able to freely break down in front of him and cry and tell him how much I hated him for everything he did, I got everything off my chest that I need to get off. I finally feel like I have closer! I big weight has been lifted and I can breath, because I know he will never be able to hurt me ever! I sat there and told him how much I loved him and how I did not deserve to be treated the way I was treated, I must have been in that room with him for an hour, venting, crying and just looking at his lifeless body, It hurt so bad. But I did it for me, I had to, The kids respected the fact that I didn't want to be at his funeral , but I did sit with them before the service and we talked, it was good. After my time alone with him , I go up and kissed his forehead and said " may God have mercy on your soul". I said I forgive you, but I will never forget you. And I left.
There is a strange peace that i feel within myself, thank you everyone for your advice and inside, you have no idea how much your comments helped me!
Tomarrow is a new day and from here on I will be at peace.

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