i broke NC..

so i broke NC after almsot 3 months..i honestly just wanted to know why he treated me the way he did, when i was nothing but loving and caring to him.. i think i was looking for answers..he didnt respond of course and im not surprised i dont feel stupid at all because this is what he does.. he ignores me,he knows thats the only thing that really gets to me he has a way of making me feel worthless, non exsitant.. i think i kinda was looking for closure or for him to say something anything but once again i got nothing..i know if i truly make peace with this situation then i can really be happy, i have something really heavy in my heart and it wont go away..i just wanna feel happy again..i truly want to let this go, let him go let the pain hurt and anger go but i dont know how..