I am so sad and alone...my heart is breaking for my kids!!!

I don't know why I even miss him right now. I don't know how I really felt I was going to be able to move on without much difficulty. I really feel that I saw things clearly a few days ago....I had those "moments of clarity", and right now I'm not doing well. I was just so happy to be rid of him....I could see for the first time, I mean really see, how abusive he is.
I just can't believe these pigs can just turn your life upside down, destroy everything, and then move on to the next like its no big deal. I guess I am a lot more upset then I thought I would be that he is camping with his girlfriend and he is still married to me!!!! I want him to suffer like I am....he did not lose anything.....his kids will still be with him every other week, as they have been all along (and mine are gone in cleveland with their father)....I have moved 4 times in the past 2 years because of him and he is sitting in the same house, with all his same things that he had when he met me. I know I through this and get into these negative cycles. I guess I am feeling sorry for myself right now.....I am very sad and he is having fun with someone else.
The best thing that could ever happen, and I know this, is that he has such a great time with her that he files for divorce tomorrow and leaves me alone. At least that way, I can start moving on....today will start NC day 1 for me over again.....I relapsed on Thursday, and now I am paying for it.
Whats amazing is that I LIVE IN FLORIDA.....I am about 15 minutes to Clearwater Beach and can go to the ocean whenever I want to. I moved here 8 years ago, and worked hard to have a life. Like I said in my other post, I WANT MY LIFE BACK.
I have to say this.....I don't know if my 13 year old daughter is going to want to come back here to live in the fall. She wants to be with me more than anything, but now she has been there with her father for 2 years. She just started middle school this year, and she has made a lot of friends. She loves her church and has many friends in the youth group.
I THINK I WAITED TOO LONG TO GET OUT. She begged me all last school year to bring her back down here with me and I kept leaving him, then going back. At this point, my ex-husband (who really is a very good man, and a wonderful father!!!) says that I have to take some time and get my life straightened out before he would even think of sending her back.
My oldest daughter is 19 and she starts community college in the area there where they live. She is doing well with them and at 19, she is happy where she is at.
SOOOOO, COULD MY LIFE GET ANYMORE SCREWED UP??? Will it ever get back on track.....even when I am NC, and he is out of my life for good, the divorce is final.....I still have many, many pieces to pick up of my life. It is a bit overwhelming!!!