I am so ashamed, I lost my temper.

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#1 Mar 13 - 10PM
evonjohn
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I am so ashamed, I lost my temper.

I know what everyone is going to say, that I need to move out of the apartment that his mother owns and lives upstairs. I have been trying to find a place but I can't afford it right now. I am trying but the ex won't pay child support and it's very difficult paying bills on my own, which include the debt from the company we shut down.

I came home tonight, ex had his visit with our son. I noticed a car in the driveway, had to do a double take, and it was his wife's car. I lost it. I went up and grabbed my son, told him to say goodbye to his daddy and went back to my apt. His wife was there, I didn't see, in fact I never met her. I lost it, I couldn't help it. When he was leaving I called him a sick f$ck. When he left he called and I couldn't help myself. I've kept quiet for so many months. I was yelling and told him that he doesn't respect my boundaries, that bringing her her is not right. I was getting angrier and angrier and defending myself. I told him if he wants to continue seeing his son that he needs to take care of the court papers, which he has ignored and says he won't waste money on an attorney. So I said until u do, I don't have to do anything for you anymore. I am shacking as I type this. Once again, he brought up us and asked me what did I expect to happen when I kicked him out. I told him to stop bringing up the past. He kept it going. We argued for 15 minutes about our son and money and his wife and boundaries. Omg I am so sick right now.

I ended up telling him that I dont want to split the loss of the company and that he should be responsible for all the loss, because of what he did to us.

I am so mad at myself for getting this upset. I want him gone and out of my life, but I have to deal with him because of our son. I truely hate him for what he has done. How can I continue to live like this? How can I not react to his wife being around my son? This isn't normal, none of it. How do I get the strength to not only get over the breakup, but dealing with him!!! I have never reacted this way to anything in my life, but I am letting him destroy me.

Mar 14 - 6PM
NittanyLioness
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Ashamed is a strong word.

Mar 14 - 6PM
Deidre99
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Find a way to move the fuck

Mar 14 - 6PM (Reply to #7)
evonjohn
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Hugs to you Deidre! You are

Mar 14 - 8PM (Reply to #8)
Deidre99
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I wish u could move in with

Mar 15 - 10AM (Reply to #11)
evonjohn
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LOL, I would talk your ear

Mar 14 - 9PM (Reply to #9)
IncognitoBurrito
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Yeah, seriously!

Mar 15 - 9AM (Reply to #10)
evonjohn
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Thanks IB, you are always so

Mar 13 - 10PM
IncognitoBurrito
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Ready to

Mar 13 - 10PM (Reply to #2)
evonjohn
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No way Jose!

Mar 13 - 10PM (Reply to #3)
IncognitoBurrito
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Alrighty

Mar 13 - 11PM (Reply to #4)
evonjohn
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I have filed the custody and

Mar 13 - 11PM (Reply to #5)
IncognitoBurrito
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Well