i am being hoovered more

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#1 Feb 14 - 1AM
fierflie
fierflie's picture

i am being hoovered more

he's stepping it up. this is the nicest he's been. i'm so glad i'm moving out.
just got this email after i ignored his texts:

i was expecting the worst. i am going to have a cleaning crew come over and give the house a spic n span day, including cleaning the carpet. any day you prefer ?

Fierflie i really wish we could just bring-have some peace and some healing for each other. what kind of peace offering can i make?

i've been wondering if i should just move out, if that would be the way to make some healing for both of us. so what do u think ...... am i just like a big walking reminder of a painful past, should i go? i remember how apprehensive u were about me moving back in. u were right once again i am so so sorry fierflie i truly am for all the things i did wrong

my communication skills have always been a big big problem fierflie i am well aware. i dont know really know what to say to you whether we are both here or i voicemail text or email or what

goodnite

when i broke into his facebook just a few days ago on my little bender and crazy night i had, he was telling his sister i was 'an extremely selfish money grubbing lazy lttle jewish bitch', that right after he stood in the doorway of my bedroom asking me how school was in the sweetest voice he could muster.... staring at me like he was going to rape me.
ugh.... he's really laying it on.

Feb 16 - 2AM
fierflie
fierflie's picture

ugh

i have officially had to stay at my friends house 24/7 now. i came home yesterday to get clothes, and there were chocolate covered strawberries and card. this is from my psychopathicXhusband :( i came home tonight to sleep in my bed and he immediately came to my bedroom and started trying to talk to me. i'm being hoovered bad you were all right. i think he saw the complaint i have in my room to file against him. he did a 180 over night. shit, he was never this nice to me since before we moved in together. i just wanted to sleep at home for one night im so tired. only a few more weeks. i have my door locked and loaded gun next to me for now :(
Feb 16 - 4AM (Reply to #9)
darkspark
darkspark's picture

a gun is no solution

If you think your life is hard now, it will be a millions times worse if you were to decide to use a gun to solve this problem. You will go to jail. You will have all your choices taken away from you. For a very long time. Just leave the house. Stay away from him. There are 12 days left in this month. Spend them with friends. Seriously. You don't HAVE to put yourself in this position.
Feb 14 - 7AM
fooled no longer
fooled no longer's picture

sounds like Narc, one

sounds like Narc, one perfectly reasonable, and one a demon from hell, all wrapped up in the same package. yes take the offer and tell him nicely "yes its holding you back seeing him daily". then stop caring what he says or does. Fuck off Narc.
Feb 14 - 3AM
Scoop
Scoop's picture

Say YES you want him out of

Say YES you want him out of the house as soon as possible ! Then you have the house ! girlfriend be smart here get him out while he has offered !.. well done for being nc im very proud of you xxx
Feb 14 - 1AM
fierflie
fierflie's picture

i responded this way :

'I would prefer a Tuesday or a Thursday, because I am at school from 9 until 9 on those days, however, my room is packed with most of my things and I dont really see how it can be easily cleaned. I don't really care what you do or where you live because I already have a place and will be moving into it by the middle/end of March.'
Feb 14 - 10AM (Reply to #5)
wholeagain
wholeagain's picture

I'm glad...

you responded the way you did Ms. Fierflie...better for you to leave the house and let him wallow in it, because if you're the one who stays in your joint property he will always and forever be looking for a way to get in your face (about showing the house, cleaning it, arranging for inspections, etc. etc. etc.) I went through that--I was the one in the house and while the ex had moved to another state he still made return visits, and I always knew that he could walk in at any time. I was on my last shredded nerve when the house finally sold. I felt immeasurably safer, happier and more peaceful when I moved into my own place, to which he didn't have a key nor even know the address! Not that I recommend snooping, but it's good that you got a chance to see, during the time you're feeling weak, what an unbelievable lying snake he is. What more proof do you need that it's all a (bad)act... Stay strong girl. xoxox
Feb 14 - 3AM (Reply to #2)
Scoop
Scoop's picture

Oh you replyed .. its a good

Oh you replyed .. its a good reply although you are still playing into his hands , he says jump and you say how high .by replying straight away to his email sends a message to him that you are still very much engaged in him . .. i still think if he has offered to leave then take the offer but maybe thats just me as i hate moving .The most important thing is you two part as there is no way you can heal with this situation . xx
Feb 14 - 1PM (Reply to #3)
fierflie
fierflie's picture

thanks ladies

i replyed because if i hadn;t, he would have had a maid in here on a day when it sucked for me. i only am talking to him about the house. thats it. this morning he tried getting into my room!!! i had the door locked, thank god! I was naked in bed!!! he asked me if we could have coffee. I said 'no'. he said can we talk about how the house is giving us the heebee geebees. and i said 'i'm moving out' i said i'm sick, go away' he said 'oh my goodness! are you ok? do you need medicine?' it was so sacharine i almost was shocked. all i said was 'no, please go away'. i would stay, but i already have a house. i want out of this one. i already placed a deposite on the home. i think staying here would be a step backwards, even if he moved out. it's time. good lord!! they are so fake!!!
Feb 14 - 1PM (Reply to #4)
spinning
spinning's picture

Good choice, Fier

I can't wait for how good you are going to feel when you are farther and farther away from your psychopath! You're already stronger than you were a week or so ago. You are beginning to think more clearly and your choice to move out is FANTASTIC. Staying would be a step way backwards, good going girl! Sending the good vibes to you and to all. sincerely (still trying hard to stop) spinning

spinning