I actually miss my old life

I actually miss my old life, you're all screaming at me right now for writing this....I'd be telling me off too. However I really do.

I miss my old place of work, my friends. I hate the fact that I now work somewhere where I can't seem to form friendships with people, I feel like I am constantly judged and watched and made to feel like a child myself.

I miss enjoying going to work to see my friends. It has been a long time now and I just can't get used to my life as it is.

The old saying one door closes and another one opens, I don't feel that way since I removed myself from the Narc's life.

I experience myself missing my old life, I miss my friends, my work, I even miss his company sometimes.

I feel like I have moved away and moved forward from him, but everything about my new life just seems really dry and boring so I often catch myself thinking about him.

Of course I don't miss the mental abuse, but I just hate the fact that I have had to change my life and friends because of some ex boyfriend.

It just seems so extreme some days. I feel like I just packed up and moved on. Some days my old life feels like a dream. It just doesn't feel like I'll ever get used to it.

I hate the fact that I now despise every day because of him. His life is not even affected by this.

I know it takes strength to move forward but I feel like I have given up a lot more than just him.