How to tell if the man/woman you're dating/married to, is a narc?

I see this question a lot on here, and I believe I asked it myself when I first came here.

I think the one thing that stands out the most, that will tell you, without a DOUBT, that he/she is a narc...is that the entire relationship centered on him/her.

Think back, and BE HONEST, with what you recall from the relationship. If you're currently in the relationship, think to what it truly looks like...

If you really reflect, you'll see the whole relationship is centered on:

* their goals
* their dreams
* their desires
* their fears
* their needs
* they blame you for everything that goes wrong in the relationship
* they rarely if ever apologize for hurting you (somehow, it's your fault that he lashed out at you)
* their extended family
* their friends
* their social life
* their career

On and on and on it goes. I have noticed threads in here from newcomers, who talk about how their ex's went on and on and on about their fears, and their needs, etc.

Good healthy relationships just...BE. There isn't all this drama, and conversation about 'what could be.'

That's how you know you're with a narcissist. When that person takes up all the space in the relationship, and you're just a prop. That's why you're easy to replace, because he never really got to know you in the first place. lol

It was all about him/her. From day one.

Hope this helps anyone struggling to make sense of that piece of it.