How long before the mask comes off this time???

I've been so strong and focused...

I think I'd rather the exhusband be a jerk rather than nice....it is so much easier to keep my boundaries....

It is my son's birthday this week and he spent this weekend with my ex...he came home and was excited to show me his gifts. The ex came in the house to show my son how to work his new ipod touch.....How can I tell him to leave under these circumstances??

He has been very nice since our blow out last week....and ironically since I told him he is no longer welcome in my house.

He and I could be such great friends...but he cant just let things be....he tells me he was sorry about last week...tells me Im all he thinks about..tells me he wants to kiss me...blah blah blah...He goes to the door to leave and grabs me and lays one on me...I pulled away and told him to stop and he smiles and says, "You know you love it!" I opened the door and he left....and there were the tears...I would have "loved it" if I knew he was different...but Im wondering how long before the mask comes off and Im belittled again...

I feel like a failure...I have been ignoring his texts all week...Ive been so strong and in control...

A part of me feels sorry for him....

I feel like this is how my life is always gonna be with this guy...and it's making me crazy!!!!