How eerily articulate we all are

its yours LOML only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

Interesting how many here are intuitive feeing types, INFP, INFJ and ENFP have been mentioned. Here is the blurb on those types: http://www.personalitypage.com/INFP.html http://www.personalitypage.com/html/INFJ.html http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ENFP.html ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "The deeper that sadness carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Kahlil Gibran "That which we do not confront in ourselves we meet as fate" ~ Carl Jung http://www.storyofmylife.com/KLARITY4

Me too...INFJ. When I shared that "label" with a past employer, they were shocked...whatever : )

Thanks for your kind words. I do pop on to this board regularly to see how everyone is doing and it has been a wonderful place of support and resource in helping me to further understand N behaviours. My past consists of more than just N's though - I think I have been in relationship with most PD's across the three diagnostic clusters a, b & c over the years (starting with my mother and half bro - both N Types). My main hang out is on a support forum called Out of the Fog, which offers sanctuary to non's PD who have experienced the fall out from being connected to any of the PD's whether through family (unchosen) or romantic/friendship (chosen). The more I learn, the more I see how many crossover traits there are within the personality disordered spectrum. From my experience N's are the most concisously manipulative and calculating of all the PD's and potentially the most damaging too. It's fascinating stuff and I am now at the stage where having disentangled from the past PD's in my life and having learned so much about 'them', I am now focussed on working on me and 'my' stuff and how I can change the way I relate and respond to disordered behaviours that come at me from this point forward. There is no doubt that from childhood I was conditioned to 'accept' this bad treatment and pd behaviours as normal! Imo, this thirst for learning amongst non pd's is essential to deprogramming ourselves. Wonderful to see this board still thriving and well done to Lisa for seeing it through a difficult time of transition. Lovely to see she has such loyal support too. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "The deeper that sadness carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Kahlil Gibran "That which we do not confront in ourselves we meet as fate" ~ Carl Jung http://www.storyofmylife.com/KLARITY4

It is my belief that in some cases perhaps that what a non personality disordered person shares in common with the N's attracted into their lives is - childhood hurt/abuse. The difference is that it causes the N to project their hurt anger and blame outwards, yet many non’s learn the opposite, to turn it inwards on themselves. Different ends of the spectrum – Non’s are givers, NPD’s (and other cluster B’s) are takers. The N picks the inner trauma of a 'victim' up on his antenna and feeds whatever BS he has to, to get them on his hook and reel them in. This happens even if the non is adept at covering over past hurt and abuse with a public face of confidence and competency. My ex N tried many tactics and I wasn't going for the bait - then he hit the jackpot (I lost my parents early in life) - he offered up his big beautiful family and beckoned me to be a part of it. Then we had two children - but he hated the fact that he was no longer No 1 and D&D's me & his kids - insisting that I no longer have communications with his family either! N's are so sneaky and will keep trying to get a hook in you if they get a whiff of unhealed trauma within. IMO it makes sense to get support from a good therapist and find safe online resources and support networks like this forum. In my own experience, the more I face and heal my own past traumas the stronger I am in the face of disordered behaviours. I do not condone these narcissistic vampires or their behaviour but from the moment of awareness of my own adaptive behaviours borne from a childhood of abuse (not speaking up, being too soft, low self image, weak boundary systems etc) - I then took full responsibility for reclaiming myself my self esteem and my life. It's work in progress but well worth every step imo. I still have chinks of vulnerability to attracting these types - I just got rid of an undiagnosed borderline (cluster B) lodger who was living in my attic - she caused no end of upheaveal for my household but, uncomfortable as it was I confronted her and her behaviours and told her they would not be tolerated in my home. She left my home and the community (thank goodness I was worried about revenge acts! turns out she was mostly hot air). I took her in originally because she fed me a sob story about moving countries and having gone through a difficult break up. In retrospect, my compassion and empathy got in the way of my good sense – there were red flags waving away on our first meeting had I paid more attention to them as opposed to what she was feeding me. I do not believe this to be a conscious dynamic, but something that happens fairly unconsciously on the part of the non. Onwards......KB ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "The deeper that sadness carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Kahlil Gibran "That which we do not confront in ourselves we meet as fate" ~ Carl Jung http://www.storyofmylife.com/KLARITY4

even as i sit here today i have the shakes and panic attacks b/c when i was shopping earlier something triggered me i got a cab straight home, phoned my son [didnt tell himuse to covering the cracks] to just have a bit of normality, these 2 men set out to destroy me, well ime not the one who now smokes cannabis all day[nh] and ime not the one who is drinking from morning till night[exn], so yes i did have to get home quickly in my panic, but they dont know that, to all intents and purposes, i look like i am doin really well, so who destroyed who, i know what i think.