How do you cope with the smear campaign?

Boy, do I hear this. I lived on the same block as my narc for three years. The neighbors all know what he did to my daughters and me and to his foster child and the other women, but I see them all chatting away with him at school or on the street and it pisses me off. When I lived next door to him, I had huge parties all the time and invited everyone. I hosted halloween haunted tours every fall for the block with lots of drinks and food, I played outside with my daughters every day and babysat all the kids on the block anytime their parents' needed help. I was so generous and hospitable, and the narc? He never invited anyone over, never went outside to play with his child, didn't want anything to do with anyone. He never even went to his next door neighbor's kids' parties because he didn't want to "deal with people's relatives". But *I* would go, and make lame chit chat and even bring presents and sign his name on the card. But who do they side with? HIM, of course. I can't even imagine the stuff he's told people about me. Since I found out about his bullshit, he's apparently Mr. Congeniality now, walking to school with everyone, having kids over to play, blah, blah, blah. It makes me sick. Whatever. I wrote the other day about how he has his minions on my blog, posting nasty comments about me, calling me desperate and crazy, saying I should get over the fact that he "just wasn't that into you", etc etc. These are the same people that listened to me cry a hundred times--when he lied to me about having cancer, when he beat me up--and who knew he had other "exclusive" relationships at the same time he was telling my children we were going to be together forever. I figure that when they find out he's been abusing his child (which I've no doubt will come out), the laundry will be properly sorted for everyone. Asses. I hate them. Don't you worry. You know who you are--and who they are. They are slime and scum--and probably so used this nonsense that it just rolls of them by now.

My three words! Delete,Delete,Delete! Hunter Its all about you!

CharlieSheenWinning's friends have been purposefully mean to me -- telling me all about his wonderful sex life and how great NewWinningWife is. You know what? These are people I don't want in my life anymore. I can't trust them. Simple as that. You're doing the right thing. Keep your dignity. It's hard, but try not to have anything to do with any of them. I've recently hooked up with old friends again who are loving and caring and know me well. It's comforting simply to be in their presence. Surround yourself with good, positive people. It does a world of good.

You need to seperate yourself from all of these people. The family is of course going to side with him. The old saying, blood is thicker then water, holds true. The friends on the other hand, they are questionable. Were they truly your friend or were they his and accepted you because you were with him. Regardless, the focus needs to be on you. Do not concern yourself with people who are easily manipulated by him. They sound like victims of him as well. Busy yourself little one. To he'll with them and anyone else that "sides" with him. Only the weak need to create allies. In the end, you may find yourself standing alone, you may feel alone and that is a terrible feeling for sure. But at least you are with someone who loves you, likes you and can depend on you......and that is you. Stay strong, stay focused.........you are NOT alone in this fight. You are in very good company with us girls on this forum. Do you have family? If so, do they live nearby and are they supportive?

I am coping with the same thing, I am struggling so deeply with it because I know that I am true through and through, and he is the liar, but his family is just as narcissistic as he is so they don't want to hear or see it. I know for a fact that he has lied to them time and time again, I want so badly to tell his parents, but I feel like they are all he has because he has lost most of his friendships due to his pathology. You have done nothing wrong, he is projecting on you. If everyone believes them, then they don't truly know who you are and where your heart is, that is their issue, try not to take it on yourself. Focus on the people who know who you are and turn to them, you are in need of support right now, not criticism. You are stronger than he is.