How did you get you in the beginning.

Mine was funny and charming, even though (looking back) he did have his faults. Because I had just gotten out of a relationship that didn't make me happy, I thought the narc was quite a catch at first. My signal to run should have been the very first time I told him I liked him, a month and a half after meeting him. We sat in his car late at night and he talked about himself for three straight hours, sometimes talking about his first girlfriend, too.

Ugh. I hate that guy. As you know, mine said he'd never gotten married because he'd "never found anyone who cared enough about being a wife and mother." In the same conversation he also told me that he hadn't had a serious girlfriend since college: "dated here and there, but nothing serious." I guess he should have told them that! When I think back and realize that WHILE we were having that conversation he was screwing at least four other women and still talking to the "girlfriend" every day . . . it really does make your head spin.

Mine talked with me on the phone for 8 hours and wanted to talk again the very next night - same thing only, it was 2am his time and he didn't care - lavished me with love and said all the right things...in the end, couldn't string a conversation together (too tired jerking off to videos, taking naked pics, online and on the phone to various ow)...I was lucky if he said a full sentence he was so bored and tired - little different to how I captivated him in the beginning, never met anyone like me before, I understood him when no one else did - nope, still don't understand him and wouldn't want to! Nothing changed from my side, I adored him, supported him and loved him, tolerated his pulling away because he blamed it on caring for his dying mother (disgusting), right up till I discovered his dirty little secrets - never good enough!

Everything seemed to click. Same interests, great sex and he was attentive in that arena, always had great places to go and show me, opened the car door, held my hand, he made me laugh, has he would say, "we enjoyed each others company. his family adored me. i treated his son better than anyone else." and i'm sure he said this to his childbride too. But, as time went on, it became "difficult" and was "not easy". I started to question things. Then the sex slowed down and he blamed his depression medication and I believe that to be true but had some doubts and then the attentive part was gone. Once he as bored, the little things stopped. he would still hold my hand and open the car door 90% of the time.

Mine told me he just wanted to be someone's Dad and someone's husband. The big red flag I missed was he WAS someone's Dad and ignored the child, and even worse, WAS someone's husband but never got around to divorcing her before he "married" ME.

comfortable and familiar right from the start, there was no straining what to say to him, we both were on the same wavelength, so I thought I just never knew what was going on inside of him and all the chaos and drama he hide very well. He was the caring,fatherly type, quiet but strong, what a great actor!!He was all about possessions and never people,could not care less if he had people or not, but his precious objects, God forbid something broke or got damaged, you would never hear the end of it, ever..............and i am talking about a simple thing like a glass.

He used the classic narc approach - make him think he's just like you, and that you've met your soulmate. We were just so similar, and he seemed so special, and so easy to talk to and get along with. Of course by now every conversation is a minefield.

Mine was so sweet and loving. I can hardly think of him back then because it still hurts so much. He had such a caring way about him. He would speak and it would be exactly what I was thinking or feeling. That's why I felt that bond with him. It was like we were the same person.