How can a person say such intimate things, and not really feel them...

I am new to this website, and have found reading these posts and blogs have been amazing in my recovery. Here is a question for everyone which I am sure a majority of us have wondered. I know it's part of the cycle of removing the N from our life to go through stages of self doubt (I am working on erasing those), but I will randomly catch myself questioning, is he really a N? How could a N (or any human being for that matter) say something like "my favorite thing to do in this world is to make and see you smile, you light up when you smile"... or tell a friend "all I want to do is take care of her and make her happy", and not mean them. Or my favorite "you are the most amazing woman and don't deserve this."

I can not wrap my head around the concept of someone saying all the things that we all want to hear, but not meaning them? Here is where my problem lies, as I have been working on myself and trying to picture what the man I really want in my life will look and feel like, I wonder will any man every really say these things or treat me the way the N treated me in the beginning when it was all rainbows and unicorns and really mean it, when everything was "perfect"? I can honestly say that the man I knew the first 3 months was the type of man I have been searching for. I feel like someone who showers me with adoration, tells me what I mean to them, that they just want to see me happy and smile is never going to be attainable. I'm not saying I want it with my N but I want those feelings with a stable man, and it scares me to think that I will never get those....note: this doesn't mean I am thinking I would return to the N to get those things. I'm used to this high intensity praise and adoration, I guess I don't know what is "normal, acceptable"- it was almost like a drug and now I go on dates with men who don't shower me with compliments and I think... well this doesn't seem as exciting.