hilarytaylor's story

LOST AND CONFUSED

Hi All,
I was in an on/off relationship with a man 14 years younger than me for 2 and a half years until Dec 2012. The worst period of the yo yo cycle was this last 12 mths.
I believe he is a narc but I am not sure. Maybe I am just in denial. My main reason for joining this site is to hopefully get some feedback from other members who once have read my story can perhaps validate my suspicions and thus help me move forward.
First of all a little personality description of him.
1.when I first met him he was too over confident for my liking. Really in your face cocky confidence, and very charming. He was cheesy with his compliments and over the top. I met him in a bar and he knew everyone there, and seemed to like to be centre of attention. It felt to me he was putting on a show to entertain all those around him.
He has a physical presence like a peacock strutting around when out in public. He likes to wear tight clothing which show off his very well maintained physique.
He engages in a lot of banter sometimes inappropriate banter which has shock content. I have witnessed many people finding his comment one step to far.
I was always at the butt end of his banter which critically undermined me and made me feel insecure. i.e He would make jokes about me needing botox, about our sex life having rome for improvement, continually corrected spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes in texting and told me it irritated him and that it was constructive feedback to help me be better at it.
In the beginning of our relationship i was persued at length. 3 weeks before i gave in to agree to a date. During that persuing time I was put on a pedastal and given compliment after compliment. "your the most intiguing woman ive met for a long time", "your beautiful", "I cant stop thinking about you".
He continued this way in the early stages of our dating.But in hindsight now even back then there were signs that underneath all his confident brovado he was insecure. He woukld send me pictures of himself half naked after a gym session and ask me what i thought. He would constantly ask me if i missed him.
Very quickly I feel in love with him and he told me he loved me within the first month.
After 6 mths he started to become distant and the critism got worse. Huge arguments would happen where he called me horrid horrid names. The relationship very quickly became about when he wanted to see me. If I asked to see him he would always decline. If I initiated contact he would be abrupt and take ages to respond. When we were together if I initiated intamcy he would reject me only to then initiate intamcy himself an hour or so later. After so may rejections I then gave up trying and ultimately let him come to me wether that be contact, seeing me or intamacy. I felt like I was now a toy. I was hardly ever involved in anything outside of our relationship. Never included in nights out with his groups of friends males and female. I felt like a dolly in a box.
Whenever I withdrew he would come on stronger.
Out of the blue he then ended the relationship,saying he didnt feel the same anymore.He cut contact for a couple of weeks and contact me again saying he missed me. This has gone on now for 2 and a half years the cycle being a couple weeks seeing me then stopping contact for a short amount of time then coming back again wanting to see me , saying he missed me and can he see me.Each time he ended it he would say I want you in my life when I am ready for friendship I will be back in touch. I have lost count how many times this happened. I found out recently that on two separate occasions during our break up period he slept with two other women. Devastating to say the least.
Im so lost and confused about this whole situation.Please someone help me shed some light on this.:'(