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He's covering his Narky arse and making me doubt myself

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#1 Jun 4 - 5AM
JMi
JMi's picture

He's covering his Narky arse and making me doubt myself

I was out last nite i saw our mutual friend.....he said N is always honest about how its his fault our relationship didn't work out, he takes full responsibility and he loved me just wasn't 'in' love with me anymore.

Another customer of mine also said he had said 'its me, not her i just wasn't cut out for marriage'

Why is he being nice and saying these things if he is an N?

He cheated and lied and snaked his way through our relationship and left without a single word or conversation or explanation - jumped straight into OWs bed who consequently is telling evryone how madly 'in' love they are and how they just couldn't fight the feelings anymore. We have all been friends for years so i hate to think what was said/went on behind my back when they were fighting their feelings?!

Now i'm worrying that i have been using this site for no reason, that he's not an N and i have just diagnosed him as one to make myself feel better that he upped and left???

People cheat and lie all the time and also go back to relationships when they aren't sure if it really is the end - what if he was just a normal shitty guy doing this

I hate the fact i was so sure he was sociopath/Narc and now this happens

Jun 4 - 2PM
janine
janine's picture

Trust your instincts

Whether he is a Narc or another sort of disordered person or just a horrible guy does not matter all that much. A kind man would not cheat, lie and snake his way through a relationship. Naturally he will not badmouth you, because he's aware he couldn't get away with it and has to act Mr.Nice Guy. Mine is the same and he is very much a Narc. Don't trust him.
Jun 4 - 1PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

He's full of shit! Get out

He's full of shit! Get out the shovel! First it a way of hoovering, second, he doest want to ruin the good guy image! FUCK HIM! Mine never said a bad word about me, why because the friends he had got to know me! He would look stupid if he said, she was a crazy bitch! He tells them I wanted to marry the dog whisperer and move to NJ. He just not up for marriage! Right! A conversation I never had! Who'd want to marry that gnome! A true Assclown! These idiots spend more time making ideas up in their heads, spend time working cheese dick! Hunter
Jun 4 - 1PM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I agree...

Your gut told you he's a narc...trust it. Remember, they know how to keep up image...they know how to con others...what else would he say...what could he say to others after stepping out? I'm a Jerk? They'd never say that...if your gut sent you indicators...trust them...that is the number one MISTAKE we all made here...we did not listen to our gut. The horror of the reality makes us want to find another "out" that's the CD working. Unless you have other evidence to the contrary, I'd go with my first internal message...they're usually the right one and we need to learn how to trust ourselves and our judgement more. Hugs!
Jun 4 - 12PM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Reply from Member: Sparrow

Because he is a wolf in sheeps clothing! Do not buy into it! Stay with your gut feeling! You know the truth! His words are manipulating you still! Never ever, ever doubt your own feelings and instincts!! Once you do, he has won again! Stay strong! Note: Copied by Michele115 due to deletion of duplicate post...
Jun 4 - 6AM
Littleone
Littleone's picture

Maybe it would help to read

Maybe it would help to read up on what makes a sociopath and/or a narcissist, the proof is there. Mine has said the same kind of things to ppl, it's just a deliberate ploy to make himself look like the good guy and excuse the behaviour. I don't personally know your story but I'm sure if your here he did things to you that were just plain 'off' throughout your relationship. You know the truth, don't doubt yourself. She is doomed to, he is just going through the idealize stage. She will come crashing down off the pedestal just like you did. You were up there once too, we all were, that's why we are here. Trust your instincts.
Jun 4 - 6AM (Reply to #4)
JMi
JMi's picture

Have read and read and read

Have read and read and read Litleone I am pretty damn sure he is N this sounds strange but i wish i had an ex of his i could talk with but i'm his only real relationship as we got together when we were 17 I could speak with his flings but they were very very short lived - the OW is his first proper GF as he left our marriage for her - in the past he always came back to me but thats not the case this time - he has moved on for good
Jun 4 - 6AM
SoaperGirl
SoaperGirl's picture

I think he's just keeping you on his hook

Sounds like he's just keeping you on his hook, to keep you from moving on. Interesting you've got people passing on messages from him to you...quite probably to make you doubt yourself. Listen to your gut.
Jun 4 - 6AM (Reply to #2)
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

SoaperGirl is right!

SoaperGirl is right!