HELP>>delivered him knock-out blow then went NC,HE Sent abusive email

you know? i done this after he diod not see his D after three weeks, gave it all, you have not seen her for three weeks, dont let her down anymore, why are you doing this to her, dont let her down anymore, and i got was- i will review my contact order, you are verging on slander, you are ... so fuckin what know i know that it was all bull as he will not see his D for another three weeks AGAIN so i am going to give it my all, just push the reply button on my mobile to the texts that he sent me...

http://www.narcissismfree.com/newsletter_weekly.php Narcissism is like a virus that invades the body, mind and spirit of all those who come in contact with it. A full-blown narcissist has been deeply infected by narcissism. It has been passed down through generations or through life circumstances and it continues to invade and infect. What is infectious about narcissism is its power to make those in its presence feel special. Its antithesis is a feeling of worthlessness. So when we are infected by narcissism we swing between feelings of grandeur and feelings of total inadequacy. The grandeur is the high! It is the drug. It is like a heroin fix for the junkie, or a drink for the drunk. It is like a binge for the food addict. While we are getting our fix we feel high, special, on top of the world. But with every high there is an equal low. The craziness in our lives comes from cycling between the highs and lows still we chase the high like it was the only thing worth living for. The heroin junkie knows that the highs are followed by extreme lows and as much as he hates the lows he will pursue the high again and again crashing and elevating, crashing and elevating. Quite often the junkie will die in his pursuit of the almighty high. Yet the initial high of the junkie is said to be the greatest. He can never really capture that initial high again, but he may die trying. He doesn’t put two and two together and realize that he has never succeeded at reaching that ultimate high he initially experienced. It is the chance that he pursues; the hope of that grand escape. Addictions are a way that we escape from our emotional pain and the reality of our lives. We happen upon an experience that elevates us beyond our pain, our misery, our dull, boring circumstances, our self loathing, and the stress of our lives. Meeting and falling in love with the narcissist is like being bitten by the vampire. The vampire approaches his victim ever so sweetly, seducing her into his grasp and then moving in for the fatal bite. Once bitten the victim becomes the vampire. It is contagious. Having had her life blood drained by the vampire she now must replenish her life force by victimizing others. As victims of the narcissistic seduction we too are drained of our life force energy. We enter into his arms willingly, falling prey to the sweet seduction. We believe that which takes our life has the power to restore it. But that wholeness we experience momentarily while under the narcissistic drug is fleeting and it is followed by a complete emptiness which is the antithesis of wholeness. Instead of being fulfilled we are emptied. The mistake we make is when we believe that the narcissist has our power and we go to him again and again in search of that original high, that original feeling of wholeness. But the being who is occupied by the virus of narcissism has no real power. He lives solely on the life blood of others. He is dependent on his transfusions for his very life. Without the transfusion, he himself would be empty and that would mean death. So we can’t blame the narcissist but rather the narcissism for his predicament. He may not realize he is a narcissist. He only knows what he needs to survive. He must feed upon the lifeforce energy of others. The longer one is infected by narcissism the more callous and cold to human emotion he becomes. He is a vacant soul. He goes in search of empathy, compassion, love, caring, and tenderness. He sucks these emotions up like a vacuum. And the victim, while feeding the narcissist, has a sense of being needed, loved and cared for. Our empathetic selves relate to the hungry soul within the narcissist. There is a part of us that is hungry too. We are hungry for love, for connection, for oneness. We are hungry to feel whole and complete. We give of ourselves believing we will receive what we need in return. But the longer we stay, the more we give, the emptier we feel. Like the heroin addict we seek after that initial high. We find ourselves falling deeper and deeper into the addiction, craving that oneness, that divine connection that initially caused us to feel so high. But the result is a low unlike anything we have experienced. We hit rock bottom and find that we are energetically depleted. The sane thing to do would be to realize that it was the drug of narcissism that put us here in the first place and get away from it,but we continue blindly seeking our fix, ignoring all the signs of our own demise. We are infected! We are addicted! We know that we need to break free! But how? How do we give up the drug of narcissism? First we must face the honest truth within ourselves. We must face that we have been bitten by the narcissist and are now infected with narcissism. We have the virus! And unlike the folklore myth of the vampire, it is curable! But not without effort! Being infected by narcissism doesn't mean we automatically become a narcissist. But we may recognize a neediness within ourselves that comes from having been drained. If we ignore our need for help and recovery we could very well become more narcissistic which would result from hardening our hearts, losing our faith in God, being suspicious of others, building walls so high that nobody can get in, not caring anymore about anything or anyone and becoming a drain on others by telling our victim stories over and over again. The condition that keeps an addict tied to this addiction is denial. Denial is the illusion we live under that prevents us from seeing things as they really are. It keeps us stuck in a belief system that supports the idea that there is not a problem. The truth is that there is a big problem! Addiction is a big problem! It takes us from our soul. We sell off bits and pieces of ourselves to remain in the illusion, in search of the almighty high. Are we addicted to love? No! We never experienced true love with this person. We are addicted to narcissism! We are addicted to the grandiose illusion that our love with the narcissist is somehow the answer to our prayers and our dreams. We are addicted to the soulmate fantasy that the narcissist is our compliment, the one who completes us. Because for a brief moment the narcissist provided the illusion that we were one with each other, whole and complete without any other needs. Like all the love songs we hear, there is a feeling that we have finally met the one we have been waiting for. The world could stop turning and it wouldn’t matter because we have finally found each other. Of course none of this is real! It is no more real than the initial heroin high. It is drug induced. It is a fantasy based on a desire to escape our lives. And for a brief time we do escape. But when we return to reality we find life has not improved, it has fallen apart even further. When we go in search of the answers to why we are feeling the way we do, we often find our way to the study of narcissism! We realize our beloved partner has all or most of the characteristics described and for a moment we are greatly relieved. We have an answer. It is like we have gone to the doctor in attempt to find out why we are feeling so terrible and we are diagnosed with a virus. “Oh you have been infected by narcissism. It is really growing rampant in our society. I’m not at all surprised.” But often when we are diagnosed with a disease, especially if it could have fatal consequences we go into denial. We don’t want to believe it is happening to us. With narcissism we often go back and forth between believing the person in question is a narcissist and believing he couldn’t possibly be that. If we accepted his narcissism we would have to give up the fantasy. Just like if an alcoholic admits to himself he has a problem he would have to give up the drink. There is a great fear in giving up our addictions. They are our escape from reality. Like any addiction, the more we stay involved with our drug, the greater our pain. And since it is the pain we were trying to escape to begin with it no longer makes sense to stay in the illusion. So we start to wake up and see the truth of what is. Waking up is painful. The truth can really hurt. But it also sets us free. When we sleep in the land of denial we are not aware of what is really going on. But when we begin to awaken we see that we have been fooling ourselves and this is a hard reality to face. We are not only angry at the narcissist but we are angry with ourselves for allowing this to happen. We didn’t read the signs or trust those feelings that were telling us something just wasn’t right. Our tendency is to blame the narcissist for destroying our lives. But this is no more effective in our recovery than blaming the alcohol or the heroin. Both are there to anesthetize anyone willing to be anesthetized. It is our desire to be lifted up, transported beyond our current reality that invites the drug into our lives. It is said that the vampire Dracula didn’t visit anyone who didn’t invite him with an open window. Leaving our window open may seem innocent enough. We may just want fresh air. But the vampire sees the open window as an invitation. He doesn’t have to break in because we are open to the world. We open ourselves to a narcissistic invasion by lowering our defenses. He comes right through our boundaries and moves in for the kiss of death. There is excitement in the air. There is the promise of transformation. There is the lure of danger and adventure. We know life will not be the same again. All victims of narcissism don’t hate their lives before they are visited. They might just be bored, or seeking romance, love or affection. They may have been born into it. They may want a relationship, or long for a soulmate, someone to share their life with. They may be vulnerable from some incident in life, or they may simply be a target through an association at work, or in a social group and find themselves being flattered in a way that causes them to feel really special. Who doesn’t want to feel special? Narcissists are good at what they do. They have very powerful seduction skills. They can be master manipulators doing whatever it takes to get what they want. So we can’t blame ourselves for falling for the bait. But we can learn from it and immerse ourselves into the process of recovery. The narcissist works the same way in all the lives it touches, however we all experience it differently. Just like alcohol. Some will have a drink and say “I don’t like how this makes me feel” and not be inclined to have that drink again. Someone else will have that same drink and say “wow I like the way this makes me feel” and continue to drink it. Some may like the drink so much they become addicted to it. Others may start to want it too much and decide to leave it alone. Some may get drunk on the first drink and others may have to drink four before they feel the effects. We all have different tolerance levels and will experience the same person in different ways. So it is useless for us to waste our energy wondering if the new man or women in the life of our narcissist is going to have the same experience we did. We know one thing. They are getting a narcissist. What they do with it is their own business. The new person may also be a narcissist and they could play games with each other till kingdom come. It would be much like an alcoholic mating with another alcoholic. They could drink themselves into oblivion and yet on the outside it could look like they are having a lot of fun. Once we realize that we are addicted to narcissism we must focus our energy on our own recovery. What is normally suggested is quitting the drug cold turkey. This is called “the no contact rule.” If we cut off contact with the person using our energy he will have no further physical access to our energy. But somewhat like heroin addiction once we cut ourselves off from the heroin we must go through physical withdrawals and then the emotional/psychic withdrawal which is sometimes more difficult than the physical. We can do psychic chord cutting exercises and soul retrieval as described in my book “Spiritual Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse” to expedite the process but we also must address our own addiction and realize that it is not only the narcissistic energy invading our reality. We desire it! We want it! Even though it is bad for us, we invite it back over and over again. So when you disconnect the psychic cords to the narcissist but then seek him out to reconnect you will have to go through the process again. We have to ask ourselves why we desire the thing that destroys us. What do we get out of it? The process of recovery requires much soul searching but the result is a much greater understanding of oneself. Great things can come out of the most difficult trials in life. The important part of recovery is to realize that life will never be the same again, but from our struggles we can become better, stronger, healthier and immune to those relationships that prey on our life force energy.

What a freaking LOSER!! NC NC NC NC NC NC NC NC

That's how you reinforce "Who's Boss" OMG...I like that...kinda catchy huh? don't respond...that's what he wants You have to STARVE a narcissist. Good Luck

Block him on fb and take him off youre friends list , block his email too and mobile . In short do nothing , there is no such thing as a last show down with them , there is depths they wont do to . The only way to hurt them is by going no contact . xx

hi, I wrote a posting this morning called" Got a letter from myEXN, want your opinions please," take a look at it and wait till you see what he says about ME!!!!they lash out at anything and everything, reminds me of a kid at a birthday party and they blindfold him and he starts trying to hit the pinata...let me know what you think of my posting, you'll get some better perspective.............and a good laugh i hope!!!!

I have written so many things I want to scream out in his face right now but I'm remaining NC. I have so much crap I want to throw at him but I know it will only give him an upper hand that I said something to him. It's so hard to not respond to the crap they say to us. Don't accept a word of what he says.

....in any way. That's the best he can fuckin' do? gimme a break how juvenile can you get. Ignore him and get on with the healing/ Is there a way you can block his comments on FB? I would stay away from FB for a little while if not.

If you mean to go NC with him, then blocking him on FB and email so you don't SEE his clever comebacks (barf) is the next thing to do. Think about it for a second. He sounds like a six year old in a potty name calling fight. Are you going to lower yourself to responding to THAT?

The best revenge is no revenge. He's an idiot. A friend of mine met up with her elementary school boyfriend from grade 8 a few years ago. He was married at the time but wasn't happy. The girl had stopped taking care of herself, etc. My friend at that time had just lost a bunch of weight, was feeling confident and my friend and this woman's husband began seeing each other. He eventually left his wife for my friend. They now have 2 children together and my friend gained her weight back. His ex-wife didn't tell him off or go nuts -- she basically began taking care of herself. She runs marathons, she's at the gym often, she's out jogging with her dog and she looks incredible. This drives my friend crazy as her "man" comments on his ex-wife "wow, she looks great", etc. His ex-wife and him share custody of a dog, and she's calm and cool with every encounter they have either picking up the dog or dropping off the dog, but again, she looks amazing. My friend has gained some weight with the pregnancies, but she's insanely jealous of his ex-wife. That being said. Don't reply to him because he is a sack of shit. You deserve better. Any man who would say that to a woman is a piece of shit. Go focus on you and live YOUR life. He is not worth it. You are better than that and don't ever forget it.