He threatened me

11 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Aug 14 - 10AM
CaminoReal
CaminoReal's picture

He threatened me

He threatened to ruin my entire life and contact my children IF I contacted his OW--another married woman and professional with a lot to lose.

My question is, Should I contact her? Should I warn her? She has been with him longer and has her husband involved too. They r all a happy gang. Her husband HAS to know, but must be playing dumb.

If I contact her, is it worth the destruction of my reputation that could follow? Anyone have experience to share with me?

Aug 16 - 11AM
repressed memory
repressed memory's picture

Absolutely not

He's involved with a married woman!!! What a surprise!!! Where are the boundaries? He'll probably D&D her once she leaves her husband!! That's a wet dream for him! He's her problem now!! NC!
Aug 16 - 8AM
Soldier Girl
Soldier Girl's picture

Nooo

I did and now she is calling me pychopath stalker . I not only had his abuse I now have her giving me abuse too,! My exN told me about a previous ex of his who went mad he had to get a order out on her for stalking him! So of course he has said I am nuts to her ! He has bad mouthed all his exes . So just leave them all to implode on there own!
Aug 16 - 8AM
Nemesis
Nemesis's picture

No. Don't contact her.

If you contact her about him then you are continuing to acknowledge his existence and the big effect that he has had on you. Whilst, on one level, he will be enraged about you ruining his reputation, on another level he will be getting a kick (a big dose of narcissistic supply) out of all the attention and notoriety that he is getting from you. This kind of thing makes the narcissist/psychopath feel very powerful indeed. His threat is a provocation designed to force a reaction out of you. He will be expecting a response and it will be more of a disappointment and a frustration to him if he DOESN'T get one. To ignore him and his pathetic threat is to strike back at him with the antithesis of narcissistic supply. This will force him to see how utterly feeble he is!!! Remember: The most important person in your life is you. Put all of your energies into your own recovery and into looking after yourself and your kids. Nemesis xxx
Aug 14 - 11AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Canmino

First of all, Why are you speaking to him? You must be trying to pull blood from a stone. Correct? The man you once loved is dead, gone, ….. Narcs are lazy and full of empty threats, if he exposes you, he exposes himself too. He is not innocent, he is sleeping with married woman, that's not cool. How will that look in his perfect world? This sounds like my Narc, could be one in the same. His BFF is a married woman around the corner from him. Her husband accused him of sleeping with his wife, But My N has a spell over her and shoved it up his ass. This woman's husband is either a pussy or stupid. The three of them are one big happy family. Stay away from more drama, you don't need it. Hunter
Aug 14 - 10AM
Used
Used's picture

CaminoReal

YOU WILL ACHIEVE NOTHING BUT HEARTACHE BY GETTING IN TOUCH WITH HER...HER HUSBAND MAY BE PLAYING DUMB..B/C HE HOPES IT WILL FINISH BUT HE WON'T THANK YOU FOR TELLING HIM...THIS IS HER PROBLEM LET HER DEAL WITH IT...NARCS G/F CAME AND TOLD ME ,SHE AND NARC HAD BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP ALL THE TIME HE AND I HAD BEEN FRIENDS...I THEN TOLD HER WHAT I KNEW!!!!!SHE WAS GUTTED...SHE STILL STAYED WITH HIM..THO I DON'T KNOW IF THEY ARE STILL TOGETHER B/C I DROPPED HIM ONCE SHE TOLD ME...BUT ALL IT MADE HER DO WAS CLING ON TO HIM TIGHTER AT THE TIME.....HAD SHE NEVER TOLD ME WHO KNOWS WHAT WOULD OF HAPPENED?....BUT I KNOW SHE REGRETED TELLING ME...BUT ONLY B/C OF WHAT I TOLD HER ABOUT HIM....IF I HAD MY THAT TIME AGAIN...I WOULDNT HAVE SAID ANYTHING...AND I BETCHA SHE WOULDNT HAVE APPROACHED ME....NO GOOD WILL COME OF THIS.....I KNOW YOU ARE HURT BIGTIME, BUT ITS BEST NOT TO OPEN THIS CAN OF WORMS I BELIEVE...I HAVE BEEN NC FOR 22MNTHS AND HE STILL TRIES TO GET ME BACK AND BLAMES HER FOR BREAKING UP OUR FRIENDSHIP....LOL...YOU WILL BE DEEMED AS THE BAD GUY ALL ROUND.....LET THE CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAY....
Aug 14 - 10AM
strongblackcoffee
strongblackcoffee's picture

CaminoReal

Your only duty is to see that you and your children are safe. You are not her protector. You are not her advisor You need to thank your lucky stars she has him, because that means you do not! It is no your responsibility to save her. Save yourself!!!! Hugs! Coffee
Aug 14 - 10AM
BadaBing
BadaBing's picture

NO

Do not do anything that keeps you further involved or engaged with the Narc! it is not your job to warn or enlighten the OW . Get out and stay out it will be the best thing for you esp if you have children. Go NC and keep going for NC even if you break it. Do not do anything = anything to bring the NArcs attention or focus back to you, give him no more supply! sending you strength
Aug 14 - 10AM
Cgrl
Cgrl's picture

last word

You will never get the last word. Ever. No contact. Stop communicating with him. She does not need you to warn her. He has manipulated her too. They will think you are nuts. Walk away. This isn't about winning. They are dangerous. No contact.
Aug 14 - 10AM
ruby01 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

CaminoReal

NO! He just told you what he would do. And he will. Don't play with fire. Please gather all your strength and walk away from this and don't allow him the pleasure of trying to destroy one more ounce of you. Game over! You win!
Aug 14 - 10AM
NinjaGirl
NinjaGirl's picture

NO. Do not contact her. I

NO. Do not contact her. I would say this regardless of whether her had threatened you or not. You need to initiate no contact immediately. If he contacts you again, you tell him to cease and desist or else you will be taking his threat to the police. And then do so. Or, depending on how he threatened you, you can go to the police now.