He left & did what he wanted anyway

“But forget all that—it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.

For I am about to do something new.
See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?

I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
I will create rivers in the dry wasteland."

Isaiah 43:18-

He packed his things over the last 2 days and we argued so much over telling the kids and what exactly to tell the kids. I never intended to give details about our separation to the children. I would not tell them about this girl or the baby because I feel it's too much right now. It's almost too much for me.

And some members here pointed out that he can tell his own story and make his own explanations to his children. He will most likely lie to them (what I have learned from many of you that told me your Narc's lied to their own kids easily)

I argued with him on and off all day, even threatened and finally decided to remove my self from the situation. The back and forth arguing. I decided I would not be part of this meeting. I let him do it his own way. I had to remove my self. I knew I would be there for my children when they really needed me, and to know the truth. I want them to always know they can trust what I say.

I can not go along with him any more.

I felt it was best for me not to be there for this final meeting with the kids because I was having a hard time containing my emotions and he was determined to go with his 'business trip' lie.

He even claimed I wasn't considering the kids 'enough' to not see or understand his reasons for lying to them 'to spare them'.

So, he and I didn't come to any agreement. And I quit speaking to him after I decided to not be there for his goodbye LIE.

It hurt me so much when he had put all his things in the car, and had made several trips unloading at his new place. I was so hurt watching how he was quietly leaving so careful to do all these things so secretive out of some kind of concern , care or recognition he has for hurting his children, leaving them.

I wished he had shown some of that to me. He didn't though.

I quit speaking to him, cried in the bathroom. After the 3rd car load, which was the last (for now) he wasn't coming home again , not to this house. He wouldn't be back. I was having a hard time and withdrew to the bed room.

This has been so so so hard.

I feel as if he doesn't even see me. Like I don't matter! like my pain doesn't matter! He didn't take any time to tell me anything. I wanted him to say something, apologize, recognize - ANYTHING!! ANYTHING!!

I waited for it.
I really thought he would pull me aside and we would say a good bye. Something. After 10 years and 3 kids but No he had nothing to say to me. And that hurts me so much.

I listened in the hall quietly crying as he gathered the kids on the couch and turned off the TV and sat in front of them and told them he was going out of town for a few weeks and he would call them. He was soft spoken told them he loved them and he was going to work out of town for a few weeks.

My son asked 'where to go away to Daddy?' and he told him it was not far away, and he will call and check in each night and never answered his question. My son asked 'can we come visit you?' and Dad said 'no i don't think so' He told them he would see them soon and they can call him anytime. He held our youngest and kissed her and she started crying. He told our oldest son 9, that he was 'Man of the House now' My 3 yr old didn't want him to leave and I broke down with her 'No Daddy No' plea. and then he told them to come give Dad a hug and walk him to the door. And they did.

Dad is gone.

My Mother picked up the kids shortly after and took them out for dinner. And I had some time to fall apart left alone to process this day and grieve.

Thank you so much to all you for being there for me, and especially to those who have reached out to me personally concerned and praying for me and my family. I am so touched by you all. I really appreciate this site and by the kindness of strangers. So many of you have provided really good & solid advice and helped give me a perspective I needed to hear or shared your story with me which helped me feel like I am NOT so alone after all.

I can't say enough how thankful I am and it means SO MUCH to have this support and care shown to me at this low and sad time.

Thank you