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He just told me: Why cant you understand that I am f-ed up?

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#1 Apr 6 - 8PM
beamoflight
beamoflight's picture

He just told me: Why cant you understand that I am f-ed up?

He just asked/told me-- Beam, I have been in a marriage for the past 22 years and I am FINALLY free. Why cant you let me go, have fun, streach my legs and I'll come back to you when I'm done. I need this time.

Then he said that I was as f-ed up as him & he knows this and has accepted were meant to be together he's just not ready yet.

He told me to go out, have fun, leave him alone and when the time is right we'll meet in the middle.

what do I do with this???

Apr 7 - 2PM
victimnomore
victimnomore's picture

My

My stbenh/p did this exact thing to me. wanted me to hang around while he did his thing. I hung around like a fool and after two years and his life in shambles he reappeared and believe me round two was far worse than round 1. Move on and don't look back! I wish I had!

victimnomore

Apr 7 - 2PM
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

BEAMof light

Translation, just hang around and when I am damn good and ready I will be back for you so keep the light on and do not have a life, do not date anyone else, by the way, when I come back you better be sitting looking all cute on the sofa just quietly and meekly waiting for me NOT.. ASSHOLE get on with YOUR LIFE and leave him in the dust.... I am finally understanding all this Narc speak, thanks to this board, it is about time, 2 years and counting!!!!.maybe now i can graduate, finally
Apr 7 - 1PM
Scoop
Scoop's picture

What you do with this

What you do with this backward speak is calmly punch him in the face ..... i have never heared such bollocks . .. the narc just loves the phrase "leave me alone " good god ! That phrase in its self should be enough for you to do just that but do it forever .. what an insidious , up his own arse piece of shit this man is .. Please go NC right now . xx...
Apr 7 - 10AM
momoya
momoya's picture

Back burner

He wants to keep his back up safety supply and if he can't get anything better to meet those needs he will call you and "meet you in the middle". Then he will come to take you back off the shelf dust you off for his use again. Pretty typical!

momoya

Apr 6 - 11PM
ImStrong
ImStrong's picture

You have just been discarded

You have just been discarded and hes pretty much finished with you..until like he said he wants to feed again and get new or the remaining supply from you..he has no respect for you because he sees you as himself all narc beleive we are just like them..plot like them..and create havic like them..now its up to you to seperate yourself as an entity..and LEAVE! You have to understand every decission is not for him to decide..you are a seperate individual with a seperate mind ..not a EXSTENSION...we have been trained like a dog to be submissive to our master..that nolonger pertains.. Now my question is what are you going to do with this? Its you decission now..he has no control...

"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess

Apr 7 - 3PM (Reply to #15)
beamoflight
beamoflight's picture

I thought I was being

I thought I was being disgarded. That's what it feels like. I seriously think in his twisted f-ing head he thinks I am "his". I remember how he would look in my eyes and say "who do you belong to?" stupid me would say "awwww, you and only you" I thought it was his way of saying he loved me. He really meant WHO DO YOU BELONG TO? He wants to go out, go crazy and come back when he's all tired out, dummped or cant get better. I am back to square one. Fuck.
Apr 6 - 8PM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

You listen to what he's telling you

AND Take him at his word with ONE EXCEPTION... YOu don't wait... you move on...and you NEVER go back. If he could use you once, he can use you again. sorry to be the rain in the cloud but life is short...he may need forty years... You gonna hold on to that? He's telling you straight out. What you do with that and the consequences now that he's told you are all now on YOU. CHOOSE YOU... Hugs!
Apr 6 - 8PM (Reply to #12)
beamoflight
beamoflight's picture

I am going to do that. He's

I am going to do that. He's askig me to step away. If we are meant to be-- one day-- we will-- but for now--- we're not. I'm the woman he calls in 10 years out of the clear blue sky and f-cks her all up. Please wish me that I meet a new man. it's most preferrable to find one WITHOUT NPD thank you.
Apr 6 - 9PM (Reply to #13)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

beam...

I wish you that you heal, get your head straight, get secure in you...own you...be whole and complete, then have the freedom to pick and choose... Fair? Hugs!
Apr 6 - 8PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Beam

Click and Delete! Why are you contacting him? Is there a reason? Do you see that this communication only hurts you? NCNCNCNCNCNCNCNCNCNCNCNCNNCNCNCNNCNCNCNCNCNCNNCNNCNC!!!!!!!!!!!! Idealk
Apr 6 - 8PM (Reply to #2)
beamoflight
beamoflight's picture

I dont even know what to do

I dont even know what to do with myself right now. I am going back to NC. I was safer that way. This is a mess.
Apr 6 - 8PM (Reply to #10)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Beam

Yep, It is a mess, And if you keep talking to him you will have dust all over you for good. As hard as it is, NC is the only answer when dealing with crazy. You need a distraction, Yoga, reading, Something. Good luck Idealk
Apr 6 - 8PM (Reply to #3)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Get back on the wagon...

We can't control others or make them love us, or make them "sane" We can only control our thoughts, our minds and our actions...this will pass. I'm very sorry... Hugs...
Apr 6 - 8PM (Reply to #4)
beamoflight
beamoflight's picture

reminds me of that Bonnie

reminds me of that Bonnie Rait song... But I cant make you love me if you dont and You cant make your heart feel something it wont.
Apr 6 - 9PM (Reply to #9)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Yes...

That cassette got a lot of play during the early days over and over and over...the ferrous oxide molecues caused a ton of droputs...I have to get a cd now...LOL Hugs!
Apr 6 - 8PM (Reply to #5)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Beam

Or the Wizard of OZ! If he only had a Brain or a Heart. Lions and Tigers and Bears… OH NO. Loser! idealk
Apr 7 - 1PM (Reply to #8)
Epiphany
Epiphany's picture

Book

I started calling my XN "Tinman" years ago. Of course I was Lion. He had no heart and I had no courage. Let's not even discuss his brain.
Apr 6 - 8PM (Reply to #6)
beamoflight
beamoflight's picture

OH MY ...lmao.. thank you

OH MY ...lmao.. thank you idealk I am laughing. (((hugs))) Thank you for that smile, I really needed one.
Apr 6 - 8PM (Reply to #7)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Beam

Why we sit here and hurt over these Turds is beyond me. They really are Losers and a waste of time. Idealk