he just e-mailed me... getting anxious...

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#1 May 2 - 9PM
littlestbird
littlestbird's picture

he just e-mailed me... getting anxious...

a week after it is over...

now he seems like a martyr, talking about how awful he is, how he knows he was a bad boyfriend, how he knows that my finding happiness "like he's 'wanted' all along" involves leaving him. he dumped me "for my own good." (even though i actually initiated the break up because i was loosing my effing mind and was emotionally drained). he sounds like such a phony in this e-mail. i know i shouldn't have read it, but i did. why is he writing like this? am i supposed to feel SORRY for him when only a week ago he was lecturing on how I just "didn't make him happy anymore."

what gives. i tried so hard for that guy...and in this e-mail he makes it sound like he tried so so hard but nothing was enough for me. my expectations for a normal, balanced relationship are not out of line! he is so warped. i need to feel comfortable saying these things, because all too often i simply excuse it, defend him...

i am really good at being hyper compassionate. i even tried to reach him through some Buddhist teachings on compassion and loving kindness... but since he thinks he is superior spiritually to me and since "I am not a Buddhist and neither are you" he wouldn't listen to those tools...

it doesn't matter anymore though. it's over. i can't change him. i know he's going to play martyr to all the clueless girls that he charms out in the city...

i wonder if i am the wicked witch. or maybe i am just the Ophelia that went crazy.

i am so angry.

May 3 - 7AM
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

subtle blame shifting........

ohhhh....the poor thing.... i guess he treated you like shit for your own good, too!!...... they all make me want to puke blood.......
May 3 - 12AM
aceonelady
aceonelady's picture

they are all the same....maybe they are cloned....

They always use the same sorry words....Mine ex said many time...'Im dirt...Love is not for me' I am sorry i was not happy around you anymore....You are a very nice good lookin woman,but not for me...I am sure we wil be friends in the future with not so high expectations from each other like we had in the beginning....Sorry i dont feel like eexplaining things today...(before he hang up the phone on my face...)blah blah blah......

Aceonelady

May 2 - 10PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

littlestbird

No - you're this girl: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3UjJ4wKLkg He's trying to HOOVER YOU http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/04/30/starve-vampire-when-you-dont-respond NO CONTACT!! time to block, delete, etc his BS http://www.lisaescott.com/2010/04/17/what-no-contact-means let that anger move you forward WITHOUT THAT SOUL SUCKING PREDATOR IN YOUR LIFE!! ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 2 - 9PM
happydaysahead
happydaysahead's picture

You are not the wicked witch !!

You are doing what you have to do to get your life back !!
May 2 - 11PM (Reply to #2)
hitandrun
hitandrun's picture

It's not you!

I know it's so fresh for you. I think they all have the same manual! Mine said he just knew he could never make me happy no matter how hard he tried. Yeah right. Keep the faith...they suck...you don't. We must sound like a bunch of angry bitties, but anger helps us not get hoovered. After all, they did us wrong. I will NEVER forget when I asked how he could do this to me and he said " Well, you made me feel good when I was with you for a long time.Then I didn't feel good anymore." Maybe because I was sucked dry? Now I get it. I was an object. Fuzzy blankets make you feel good too. When you have no feelings you have to get them elsewhere...spooky!
May 3 - 12AM (Reply to #4)
neveragain5
neveragain5's picture

We are a bunch of angry

We are a bunch of angry bitties, with every right to be! :P They should be glad that we don't Lorena Bobbit their asses! Better to come out fighting than to lay in the corner crying.
May 3 - 12AM (Reply to #5)
aceonelady
aceonelady's picture

YES!!

I am with you on that.....

Aceonelady

May 3 - 6AM (Reply to #6)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

angry with a narcissist?

http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.com/2008/03/angry-with-narcissist-read-on.html ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 2 - 11PM (Reply to #3)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

they do all have the same manual

http://www.lisaescott.com/2009/12/01/predictability-pathology ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller