I keep struggling with myself. I'll read something about NPD and say 'Aha! Yes, that's him!' I'll read something else and say 'No .. he never did that ..' I'll read a third thing and I'm a-ha-ing all over again.
It's very rude of him to not fit neatly in a box for me.
Here's a story, though - we had a crazy landlord when we first got together. (Came into the house while we weren't there, made all sorts of illegal demands, etc). We broke the lease after a year and moved on.
About 3 years later, a friend sent me an obituary, asking "Isn't this your old landlord?"
She had been the victim of a hit and run accident. The driver fled the scene, leaving her on the side of the road to die. She was 40. She was crazy, but no one deserves that.
When I told STBX, he just said, "Good. I'm glad. Crazy b***h deserved it."