He is drinking again - anyone else have Narc alcoholic?

Are you kidding, mine got a BWI and spent the night in jail. Lost his liscense as a result, probably still hasn't gottne it back. I had broken up with him that May. He blamed me for his BWI, because he was so upset he drank too much. First time I was ever at his house , next day when we were on jet skies he was going wasy too fast and being wreckless. He had been drinking water out of a water bottle all day. It wasn't until months into the relationship I picked up one of those bottles of water and smelled it. Not water. He used to drunk dial all the time and always deny he had been drinking. The best one though was him being in a total blackout and yelling at me for over an hour on Easter Sunday about how he was sure I'd had bigger dicks than his.

A book that I have been reading is Co-dependent No More...not sure if you've read it, but Alcohol dependency like any other addiction is very damaging to not only the addict but those around him or her. This is a lifetime disease. You need to get help for you. It's difficult, don't know what to say on this. I don't have the ability, strength or fortitude to fight this with my ex Narc... I have read over and over and over again that the addiction will win every time. I've had to accept that and move on...but other's have different journey's. I think you need to take a long hard look at whether or not this is where you want to be. All the best...

denied it; claimed he could stop whenever he wanted. Or gaslighted like yours does - mine claiming I was imagining things when he'd come home ripping drunk or that he'd had only "one or two" beers & I was overreacting. And man did it make for some amazing fights - was like the drink gave him superhuman powers to argue about absolute nonsense for hours on end [even more so than usual!], blocking me in a room so I'd nowhere to go. And then waking up in morning like nothing had happened - seemed to really help that narc Lets Sweep It All Under Carpet technique. One of my favourites is a time before we lived together & he used to drop over to my house after being in the pub - one day I asked him to not drop over if he'd had a big night; didn't tell him not to go to pub, just asked him not to not knock on my door at 1am absolutely hammered. Even did it politely. He screamed at me that I was "trying to change him" & I had that thrown back at me for years afterwards! From what I've read its a common tie in with PDIs & an addiction of some sort. And one or the other is bad enough but both is pretty damn special. I'm sorry to hear you're suffering through all this crap & sorry you're not getting great support from people around you. Keep at it though sweets, getting your duckies in row, you will get there I can tell :) Ava xx

I feel so much for you. My ex husband who I was with for 18 years became an alcoholic. Thats when I fell out of love with him and eventually found the strength to leave. But to be with an alcoholic who is also a NARC must be doubly hellish. Stay strong and I look forward to the day your duckies are in a row and you can get out of that hellhole. Hugs and very best of luck xx

My Narc maternal grandfather was alcoholic. He belonged to AA. The ex-N coworker was alcoholic on top of being obese. He bragged about sobering up and losing weight... neither materialized. He talked about how he barely drank;pretty clear he'd come to work drunk. He didn't drive a car because of too many DUIs. The ex-P professor was assumed to be drunk. Early on, he said "I wish I didn't drink." There were rumors of him being a mean drunk. During the D&D, he was drinking lots of beer and wine. He got a belly over 4 years either because of (a)alcoholism or (b)eating lots of junk food or (c)both. Somehow, I went through the D&D sober, yet he was drinking heavily. There are non-N alcoholics who know they have a problem, but Narc-ism and alcoholism sometimes tend to be tied.

Yes, my narc drank a bottle of vodka in one sitting, and what's worse, he made me drink, too. Literally poured it down my throat if I didn't want to. I told his family once that I thought it was making him suspicious and violent, and they all laughed at me. Suspicious and violent? Him? Don't be ridiculous! Yep, that's me: ridiculous. My ex husband, not a narc, has narc tendencies and they were unbearable when he was drunk. Jealousy, rage, resentment, and NO one understood him, that he was better than other people, smarter than everyone else, etc etc. I am so sorry you are going through this. When I married my ex, I didn't know he was a recovering alcoholic, and he never drank. He said he was a health nut and it wasn't part of his lifestyle. It was almost two years before he started drinking again, and BOY did he start drinking again.