He contacted my sister....

Its time for your family to go no contact as well.... The exNarc wrote my brother,,,called my other brother...called my father.... They all igored him and he went away......they didnt feed his supply... Their supply doesnt always have to be from the opposite sex....supply is anyone who will pay attention and feed him... Your sister fed him.....

Member since: 42 years 3 weeks Last activity: 42 years 3 weeks Triangulation - for findingmeagain and others.... Posted May 11, 2011 - 3:55pm 3 http://www.runboard.com/bnarcissisticabuserecovery.f32.t859 By: Lynn S. - Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Board... Click on the Link and you will find a Poem entitled "Cinderella" the following is commentary on that poem... While it may be a bit of a twist to cast Cinderella in 'the other woman' role, she seemed the right character for this section, mostly because of the elusive glass slippers offered by the prince in the original story. Like this Cinderella, a partner of a Narcissist who is the 'third' in the relationship is likely also working hard to earn those slippers. They symbolize his love, a love the narcissist declares is reserved only for a very special person. In this competitive equation, it can seem that since there is someone else involved who supposedly cannot meet the challenge of loving the narcissist well enough, the 'prize' is even more valuable. This is, of course, exactly how the Narcissist wants his affections perceived: unique, special, and elusive. The supply this arrangement garners a Narcissist is irresistible and he will encourage and prolong the chase with great delight. I have seen numerous examples on the forums throughout the years of targets who find themselves in this position. At times the role of competing for 'love' is one they've never found themselves in before; at others it's a familiar one due to replay issues. In this poem, Cinderella is living out a repetition compulsion. Unconciously, the pursuit is familiar and it motivates her to pursue the unavailable prince, though she doesn't see this at the time she's involved. The fact that the prince is a Narcissist only compounds the situation. He will exploit her vulnerabilities and zero in on her need for validation. She does not realize that he has set things up to make 'having him' a prize to win nor does she have a conscious awareness of why she even wants to win it. What drives and prolongs this relationship can be partially attributed to her own issues. The second contributing factor is his skill at setting up a triangulation dynamic which makes her work to win his love. Whether the third wheel is a role with which the woman is familiar and comfortable as is portrayed here or it is a role that is new and adopted at a time when she was vulnerable, the dynamics within these triangulated relationships are similar. When this relationship occurs, 'Cinderella' is most likely caught on what is known as the Karpman Drama Triangle where the roles of victim, rescuer, and persecutor are played out in full force. The Narcissist will put into place a chase where he is a victim who needs to be rescued from his miserable existence and a new partner assumes the mantle of rescuer while the previous or existing partner is cast as the persecutor who is responsible for all the misery. Then the roles switch to serve the shifting needs of the Narcissist and occasionally it will also shift to serve the needs of the other members on the triangle who may have their own pathologies or issues playing out. The original article published in 1968 by Steven Karpman examining the roles of persecutor, victim, and rescuer in what has since become known as the Karpman Drama Triangle can be found here. Interestingly enough, it references Fairy Tales and the Scripts we follow: Fairy Tales and Script Drama Analysis by Steven Karpman http://www.karpmandramatriangle.com/pdf/DramaTriangle.pdf Triangulation can occur in any relationship, but it is very common in a relationship with a narcissist. It may happen at home, at work, with friends, or within in family of origin. He may pit you against another woman, several other women, his mother, his friends, or any other person he can get to engage in his victim-playing who is willing to serve the role he assigns. He may also adopt the role of persecutor to assign blame or rescuer to maintain control of his image. In the end, this travel around the triangle is how he dumps shame and finds someone to blame for his misery. If there is always a role to play, there is always a way to escape responsibility by shifting the position on the triangle. The answer to the exhaustive push and pull of a triangulated dynamic in a relationship with a Narcissist is to simply step off the triangle and refuse to play. It's a game you cannot win. Lynn --- "The best way out is always through."--Robert Frost

Don't look at it as selling your soul to the devil.............look at it as "taking the hand of the devil". You no longer hold his hand, and your soul is intact, it just has to heal. Stay strong! It's a long road to recovery, but certainly worth it! Ask your sister to go NC as well with him. That means not accepting his calls, his emails, texts, visits...............just like you. Triangulation isn't a good thing. Good luck and stay strong!