He came back AGAIN. They always come back..... He disgusts me.

Seven years with a big city narc cop and hearing his take on domestic disputes...this is literally from the horse's (ass) mouth...political type eh? Narcissism is a job requirement for those hacks! *eye roll*

I had not thought about contacting a Domestic Violence org, but I will look into this option. I am glad I posted about this because I was afraid to initially. You have no idea how much I appreciate your suggestions, feedback and support. I cry when I feel the pain of all those harmed by these types of people and yet I am so grateful to find a place where I know I am not alone with what has happened. I am grateful more than anything.

Several years ago, I was stalked by a neighbor that lived down the road from me (but within sight of my house). I'd had absolutely no relationship with him. He was a nut case psychopath that figured out I was a woman living alone. This creep kept showing up in my driveway, and walking around the fence line of my property at random times of day (frequently at 2 a.m., etc.). My dogs would start barking like crazy, and I would look out to see him. I was afraid he would eventually hurt or kill my dogs as he became more bold. My sleeping through the nights became a distant thing of the past. I would come home to find my answering machine filled with silent messages (he never spoke, just breathed into the phone). I owned horses, and frequently would arrive home after dark because of my commute from work. When I'd pull my car down the driveway, I would get out and see this jerk standing in his living room window (with the lights behind him so that I'd be sure to see his shadow - it was deliberate). If I turned the lights on inside my house when I arrived home, the answering machine would be filled when I came inside from feeding my horses. I was terrified to be outdoors after dark, long enough to feed my animals. On the weekends, I was afraid to go riding alone, and I carried a gun and pepper spray with me everywhere. This jerk ruined my quality of life to point that I finally sold my property and moved farther away (partially because I was stalked and partially to be closer to my work). The stalking went on for almost two years. I felt very "hunted", and knew it was probably only a matter of time until this jerk actually came onto my property and hurt/killed me. Being stalked is horrible way to live. I really feel for you. One of the things the police advised me to do was keep a written log of everything. Any phone calls...log it (whether he says anything or not does not matter, if you think it's him document it). Any appearances...log it. Any attempts he makes at contacting you...log it. Any suspicions you have of him being anywhere around...log it. They told me that keeping a log provides them with written proof that his behavior is not a "one off" incident. It shows that the turd has a history of this behavior. My advice to you would be to keep a log about the narc. Syren66 is correct. You pay taxes and the police are being lazy. Sitting in your driveway is trespassing. The narc knocking on your doors is trespassing. He is doing this to intimidate and upset you. Keep calling the police every time he comes near. File complaints. Voice to the police that he is a psychopath and you are afraid. All of this will support your need for a restraining order. Be very vocal and loud to everyone you know about what he's doing. The more people you tell, the more people will look out for you and notice if something should ever happen. You WANT people to miss you. There is protection in numbers. In addition, you might consider getting a gun and/or pepper spray, getting a big dog, installing a burglar alarm in your home, installing video cameras that record him sitting in your driveway or approaching your door, and taking self defense classes. All of these things can be very empowering, and help protect you. Be very loud about what you're doing to protect yourself. One of the goals is to be so much trouble for the narc that he finally decides you're not worth the effort. Do whatever it takes to protect and keep yourself safe. Trust your instincts. It's always better to error on the side of caution. Better to be safe than sorry. In my own case, the police took their sweet, slow time showing up at my house several times. Their excuse was they were "too busy" to come immediately. It sure was interesting to me exactly how fast the police decided to arrive when I called them about my neighbor, one time in the middle of the night, for standing by my fence watching my house. The police told me, "We'll get there as soon as we can, but we currently have several incidents that are 'higher' priority." I answered with, "Fine. I'll just shoot the son of bitch then. It's 3 a.m., I live alone, he's stalking me, and I'm terrified." The police were at my house within 10 minutes. Funny how those "priorities" changed. lol. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. These psychopaths can be really scary, and their behavior gets way beyond old in a big, fat hurry. I know. I've been there. Huge hugs to you.

Thank you for the advice, because I seriously do not know what to do already. In the past, police responded to disturbances at my home but the N weaved his web of bullshit and they believed him, and did not arrest or cite him. He was finally arrested after he threatened me on voice-mail at my job. Initially, police said it was not a violation because it was not a physical threat. At the time the court had only granted a “no-hit” PFA (they felt the details of abuse I listed were not “all that severe”). I had to debate the verbiage in the PFA order with police, which states “defendant is directed to refrain from causing or attempting to cause physical injury to Plaintiff, placing Plaintiff in fear of bodily injury, from harassing and / or stalking Plaintiff.” Finally they arrested him and I was granted the NC PFA (now expired) I am in a catch 22. The PFA was not extended because I had nothing to prove violations. The police say no violation because I have no PFA order. To make matters worse, we do not have a local police force so we rely on the state. After repeated calls from the N I called again to report the harassment. The trooper took down the number the N called from and said he would get back to me. 4 days later, after several calls to the barracks, the trooper called to say he called the number I gave but no one answered, so he had nothing to report back to me. I was then advised they cover a large service area and that they have other issues to deal with. Sorry this is so long. I needed to vent and it is better than sitting here peeking out the window. Today has been quiet, no calls or anything. That should make me feel better, but from past experience, I know better than to think he gave up.